Hush (Black Lotus #3)(12)

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes.” I’m quick to answer, and he immediately shakes his head.

“I’ll punish you for lying, you know I will,” he threatens. “Let’s try this again. Do you trust me?”

With my neck craned back to look him in the eye, I give him the honesty he deserves. “No.”

Declan threads his fingers through my hair, fisting it in clumps, and I wince as it pulls through the scab that’s almost healed. The scab he gave me when he ripped my hair out. The scab I kept alive by picking when I thought I’d never have him again.

He keeps his forceful hands on my head, vowing, “I’m going to change that. Right now. Tonight. I won’t allow you to fall asleep until I’ve done so.”

His words strangle me.

I panic.

“Take my belt off.”

I hesitate.

“Now!”

My fingers fumble as I work quickly to unfasten his belt and pull the leather loose from the loops of his slacks. He then holds his palm open to me, and I hand it over to him.

“Are you scared of me?”

“Yes,” I respond with no mask.

With his one hand clutching the belt and the other clutching my hair, he gives his next order, “Take my pants off and suck my cock.”

I unhook, unzip, and pull down.

He’s raging hard, and when I slide him into my mouth, he releases a guttural moan into the still of the room. My heart races as I suck him deeply. My hands grip around the backs of his thighs while I run my lips up and down the smooth skin of his cock.

“Fuuuck,” he groans, and when I look up to him, his head is tilted back.

His hand squeezes around my hair, pulling it even more, ripping the scab when he bucks his hips suddenly, forcing himself to the back of my mouth. I gag slightly, and reflex with a swallow, the opening of my throat clamping around the head of his dick when I do so.

“Jesus Christ.” His words claw through the grit of ecstasy as he pulls out of me. In flashes of seconds, he slings his shirt across the room and kicks off his pants.

We’re entirely naked.

He kneels down, draping my legs over his broad shoulders and opens me with his hands. The sound of him inhaling deeply takes over me and becomes too much. I pinch my eyes shut, because the sight of him alone is enough to rip me to shreds.

Why does he do this to me?

Soft, wet heat slides through the core of me. It’s a single lick through my folds that throws my pulse off beat and I retract.

“Don’t!” he barks, and when I open my eyes and look down at him, he continues, “Don’t fight me. Don’t push me away.” And with our eyes linked together, he moves in and closes his mouth around my clit, sucking me gently. My heavy breaths are loud, staggering in rapture as I twist the sheets in my hands. He continues to watch me as his tongue laps and massages, spurring my body to grind against him.

He’s soft and deliberate, and then, in an utter contradiction, he bares his teeth and bites my clit, erupting a euphoric scream from deep inside my gut as the pain rips through my * and up my spine. I fall back onto the bed, my body now writhing when his lips replace his teeth. Black and white fill my eyes with grey. I want to scream for him to stop and, at the same time, beg him to do it again. I’m hyperventilating when he shoves his tongue inside me, the prickles of his beard chafing my tender skin.

I’m swept away, floating in the air, unable to escape. I hear whimpering, and I know it has to be coming from me, but it isn’t sadness my heart feels. I reach down for him, needy for some sort of anchor, and fumble around before he locks a hand to mine, holding it tightly.

His lips are now on mine as his body hovers over me, and he dips his tongue into my mouth. I slide my tongue along his, tasting myself, tasting him. It’s a potent cocktail.

“Turn on your stomach,” he tells me, and when my eyes widen, he assures, “I won’t f*ck you like that, not tonight.”

I waver for a moment when he begs of me, “Trust me enough to be powerless. I want you weak and depending on me, to know that I’ll keep you safe. Give me that power back.”

I wanted Pike in that moment. It was a brief need that rushed through me. Pike was always the safe choice; Declan came with so many uncertainties. I feared becoming too exposed with him, and yet I feared becoming too distant with him. I wondered if I kept pushing him away if he would eventually leave me. I couldn’t bear that thought. I’d lost him once before and it was the worst pain of my life. Whatever direction I went with Declan, one thing was inevitable: Fear.

I’ve been told in the past to never make decisions out of fear, but I was at a road block. Turn left—fear. Turn right—fear. I’d rather be scared with Declan than be scared without him. The choice, was clear. Pike faded in that room as I allowed Declan to fill every vacant space.

Turning onto my stomach, I rest my cheek on the bed and make the decision to let all my fears come to life. He takes my arms and crosses the belt around my wrists then turns me over to bring the two straps around my waist, cinching the loop even tighter as he fastens the belt around my stomach.

Bound with no escape. I’m completely his—en masse.

“Are you scared?” he asks, kicking my thighs open.

“Yes.”

“Good,” he says chillingly. “I want your eyes on me. I want you watching me as I f*ck all that fear away.”