Hosed (Happy Cat #1)(18)
Promptly at nine, I ring her bell. She opens the door so fast, she must have been waiting on the other side, making me smile even before I see her shirt.
“You always wear the most perfect shirts,” I say, nodding toward her Internet Was Down, So I Thought I’d Go Outside Today tee shirt.
“Yours isn’t bad, either,” she says, laughing as she points a finger at my chest where the Sunshine Sex Toy Mascot, Sunny, is getting a big hug from an equally blissed-out looking cat. “Happy Cats Love Sunshine. Was that a gift from Savannah?”
I shake my head. “Nope. I bought one at the gift shop yesterday while we were there on a follow-up visit for the arson investigation. As a show of solidarity. I was hoping I might see you there, but they said you were down at the sheriff’s office. Everything all right?”
Her smile droops at the edges. “Some anonymous creep was making veiled threats about doing something to the factory on the town InstaChat page.”
“I saw that,” I say grimly. “Any progress on figuring out who it was?”
“No. I went to talk to the sheriff about it, but he was at a loss about how to handle a cyber situation. I tried to explain tracking IP addresses to him, but it was like explaining hot air balloons to a fish. And I doubt InstaChat would respond to a request from a small-town sheriff for private information on a user anyway. Sheriff Briggs was sympathetic and said he would keep an eye out for suspicious activity, but…”
“But you’re not expecting much,” I say, wishing I knew something about tracking down cyber trolls. But I’m as clueless as the next guy whose Internet expertise begins and ends with turning his modem on and off in hopes it will fix itself when the signal goes out. All I can do is promise, “Jessie, my chief, and I are keeping a close eye on Sunshine, day and night. We’re doing our best to make sure no one gets hurt. And who knows, the lab results might give us a clue who this spooge for brains really is.”
Cassie’s smile comes out from behind the clouds. “I liked that comment too. Emma June is funnier than I remember. And Tucker even dumber. What does she see in that man?”
I laugh. “Don’t quote me, but I’m guessing it has something to do with his face and his muscles. I hear women like those things.”
“They do, but I’d rather have a guy who makes me laugh.”
“Why not have both?” I tease in a way that makes it pretty damned clear I’m flirting with her. Or trying to anyway. But Cassie only nods calmly and says, “Yeah, that could be good too. Do I need to bring anything? Aside from my wallet and phone?”
“No wallet or phone needed if you don’t want them.” I step back, motioning toward where my bike is parked at the end of her drive. “I’ve got everything we need for a day of fun, adventure, and eating all the snacks.”
Cassie shuts the door behind her. “I already know I’ll like that part of the underbelly tour. Eating all the snacks is one of my favorite things.”
“You want to start now?” I ask. “Have you had breakfast?”
She shakes her head. “No, I haven’t, but I’m not hungry. I don’t do food until after ten o’clock and at least three cups of coffee. I’ve had two so far.”
“Perfect, because we’re bound for number three.” I head down the walk while she grabs her bike from the far side of the covered porch. “And I’ll point out that being able to leave your sweet, dildo-handlebarred bike out all night without locking it up is one of the many benefits to living in a small town.”
Cassie laughs. “You’re right. In the city, this bad boy would be gone in a heartbeat. I could probably mass produce dildo handlebars and sell thousands of them during Pride Week.”
I swing onto my bike. “You should write that down. Get Savannah on the job when she gets back.”
“Maybe I will.” Cassie mounts her bike beside me, her cheeks going adorably pink as she grips the massive purple dildo handles. “It would be good for her to have something to look forward to, and she loves designing new products. So where are we headed?”
“Somewhere cool,” I say mysteriously. “You’ll see.”
“Okay, but I can’t imagine there’s anywhere close enough to reach by bike that I haven’t seen yet. I’ve been around Happy Cat a time or two, you know. I did grow up here.”
“But you don’t know her hidden treasures, Cassie. You haven’t taken the time to coax her secrets to the surface.”
“So Happy Cat is female?”
“Of course she is. Her name is Happy Cat.” I wink before I dart to the left, heading down the trail leading around the lake. “Come on, Sunderwell, look sharp, this coffee isn’t going to hunt and kill itself.”
Twenty minutes later, we’re parked outside the Kennedy Family Day School, an abandoned schoolhouse from the late 1800s that’s now a general store and sandwich shop that serves the best damned coffee in this or any other county.
Watching Cassie bury her cute little nose in her cup and inhale like she’s just sniffed a piece of heaven, it seems she agrees. She takes a cautious sip, her eyes going wide as she swallows. “That is in-fucking-credible.” She winces, glancing over her shoulder and laughing in relief when she realizes we’re still alone on the front porch rockers. The family of four who ordered breakfast sandwiches behind us are still inside. “Pardon my French, but seriously. How is this so good? What have they done to it?”