Hidden (Nicole Jones #1)(34)

After a few minutes, I finally stop crying and pull away. I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand.

‘You don’t have to do this,’ I say.

‘I know that.’

He is waiting for something, for more of my story, but I am too spent. ‘Can we pick this up in the morning? It’s been a long day.’

Steve stares at me for a few seconds, and it dawns on me that he thinks I might leave in the night. I might disappear and he would never see me again.

And for the first time, I realize that I could. I could slip out of the house in the dark, wait for the first ferry in the morning and take it, back to the mainland. But I can’t do that just yet; I need to figure things out first. I need to know exactly what’s going on before I go out there unarmed. And, most of all, I need to be prepared.

‘The guest bedroom is all set up,’ he says finally.

‘Thanks,’ I say and follow him into a room with pink flowered wallpaper and a four-poster bed covered with a white bedspread.

Steve leaves me alone, then returns, carrying a T-shirt and a pair of sweat pants. ‘You can wear these.’ All of my clothes have been cut up, so what I am wearing is all I have. ‘I’ve left an extra toothbrush on the sink in the bathroom.’ My toothbrush had been dropped in the toilet bowl at my house.

I take the clothes and thank him. He gives me a sidelong glance as he steps out of the room, shutting the door behind him. I hear his footsteps go down the hall to his room and then another door shutting.

The room is bathed in the glow of a lamp on the bedside table. The window shows my reflection. Suddenly I shiver and turn the light off, the room cast in darkness. It takes a few seconds for my eyes to adjust, and then, with the help of the light of the moon outside, I see shadows around me. I quickly undress and put on the clothes Steve has brought me. I step into the little bathroom adjacent to the room and find the toothbrush. I brush my teeth in the dark and rinse my mouth out using my hands as a cup. When I go back into the bedroom, I creep over to the window and peer outside. I see nothing but the road and a few trees. I reach up and pull down the shade before anyone can jump out and say ‘boo!’

I cannot stay here past tonight. I probably shouldn’t be here now, but Frank Cooper said he would keep an eye out, so I am counting on that.

In one fluid move, I slide into bed, pull the covers up under my chin and stare at the ceiling, hoping that I will be able to sleep.

I force myself to stay in bed until six thirty. I have been awake for hours, tossing and turning, catching only snippets of sleep that are interrupted by dreams of strangers destroying my house. Finally, when I smell the coffee brewing, I allow myself to get up and venture to the kitchen, where Steve hands me a cup and I settle at the table. He sits next to me.

‘You need to meet this Tracker at seven, right?’ he asks, as though our conversation from the night before has not been imprinted in his memory, like it is in mine.

‘That’s right.’ I take a long drink of coffee. It is too hot, but I ignore how it scorches my tongue.

‘What’s the plan?’ He leans forward, closer to me.

I have been mulling this over all night. Should I tell Steve about Carmine? I still want to keep him in the dark as much as possible, but I don’t think it will be easy to get rid of him. He seems determined.

‘It might not be safe for you to know,’ I say softly.

‘Oh, the whole, if I tell you I’ll have to kill you thing?’ He laughs, but I can hear the strain behind it. He wants me to trust him, but he has no idea what he is asking or what risk he is taking.

‘It’s something like that.’

‘I’m a big boy. I can take care of myself.’

I shake my head. ‘These people, well, they play for keeps,’ I say.

‘These people? You mean, Zeke?’

I put my cup down. ‘His real name is Ian. And he’s not the only one who knows where I am.’

Confusion crosses Steve’s face. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I don’t know for sure that he is the one who trashed my house.’ I let that sink in for a second, then add, ‘He told me that he just got here first.’

‘What did you do, Nicole?’ His expression is stern, and while I know he is not my father, he is acting more like my father than my father ever did. Daniel Adler didn’t care what I did, as long as I stayed out of his business. When he caught me at his computer that first time, my fingers on the keyboard, his files open, he sent me to France two months early to visit my grandmother for the summer.

She had a computer.

A year later, Daniel Adler was in prison.

The memories are all coming back now, fresh and vivid in my head. Memories I’d pushed away so far I thought they were gone for good.

I look into Steve’s eyes. They are searching mine, searching for the truth. Searching for who I really am. I want to scream that I am Nicole, that Tina doesn’t exist anymore, but she has been emerging ever since I saw Ian in his car at Club Soda that night.

In his car.

I sit up straight. ‘He had a car here,’ I say. ‘Remember, we saw it that night at Club Soda? A black BMW, I think it was.’

Steve looks uncomfortable.

‘What is it?’ I ask.

‘I talked to Frank this morning. I called him before you got up, just to see if there was any news. They found the car. Last night.’ He pauses. ‘It was at the airport.’