Help Me Remember (Rose Canyon, #1)(65)

BRIELLE





My limbs are trembling, but I lock my muscles so he doesn’t see. Spencer moves toward me like I am his prey. He’s strong, sexy, and while I thought I had control, it’s clear that’s gone now.

It’s what I need.

I don’t want to think anymore. I want to feel and be lost because he’s what anchors me anyway.

His thumbs move against my collarbone, playing with me for a few seconds. “Are you nervous, sweetheart?”

“No.” It’s a lie, but I don’t want this to stop. I’m nervous, but not about being with him. I’m nervous that he’ll find me lacking. I’m not the models he’s used to. My body is far from perfect. I have lumps and scars. I have stretch marks on my hips from the summer before freshman year in high school when I grew two inches. I am not perfect. I’m flawed.

“No lies,” he says, echoing the promise we share.

My heart rate jumps as his one hand slides the strap off my right shoulder. “I’m not . . . nervous, I just want to be good enough. I want you to like what you see.”

That causes him to stop. His hands are holding my face tenderly. “You are perfect. Do you hear me? It’s me who isn’t good enough for you, Brielle. You’re Eve, and I came to the garden when I shouldn’t have. I’m here, ready to cut the entire tree down, knowing that the temptation isn’t the apple, but you. Don’t you see, I’m the one who doesn’t deserve this moment.”

“If I’m Eve, then you should know I don’t want the apple anyway. I want you. I want the snake and the sin and the promise of the future.”

Spencer’s thumb moves against my lips. “I want the apple. And if I can only get this taste tonight, then God help me because I will never be the same.”

My hands move to his wrists so I can hold him as he holds me. “Then take what’s offered, and we’ll worry about the rest later.”

His lids close as he presses his forehead against mine. He gives me a soft kiss, and I wrap my arms around his neck as he picks me up and carries me to the bedroom. Spencer places me on my feet in front of my bed.

Wordlessly, he pulls both straps, sliding them down my arms, and then it pools on the floor.

I step out of it, my heels still on.

He tips my chin up. “I don’t even have to look to know how stunning you are. I like every part of you. Every freckle, every scar, every imperfection you see, I see beauty.”

I think I might have just died a little.

I push myself up and kiss him because there are no words that will compare to that. He kisses me as he walks me back to the bed and unhooks my strapless bra and tosses it away.

“I want you naked, Brielle.”

I push my underwear down, shimmying until they are off and his want has been met.

Spencer grabs my thighs, pulling me up into his arms again, and lays me on the bed. He stands tall, his erection jutting out as he looks at me. I fight the urge to cover myself, but I couldn’t deny the lust in his eyes if I wanted to. He is starved, and I am what’s on the menu.

Thank God.

“Next time, I want you to keep the shoes on. Tonight though—” He removes my one heel and kisses my ankle. “—I want you comfortable.” The other one comes off and he runs his thumb up my calf. I could die from the pleasure. My leg drops and he crawls up toward me. “I have thought of this moment for weeks now,” he confesses. “I’ve imagined you naked for me, wanting me to take you, love you, give you so much pleasure you can’t do anything but take it. Do you want that, love?”

I nod. “Very much.”

“Sit back against the headboard,” he commands. Once I do as he bids, he grins. “I want you to watch. I want you to see everything. There’s no darkness here, only light.”

I want to cry. My heart is pounding so loudly because he’s giving me everything. Not only the sex, which I am so fucking ready for, but also the thing that has been haunting me. I only see the black haze around my memories. But in this, there’s no haze and no battle to lift it. He’s giving me my vision.

He pushes my knees apart, kissing the inside of my calf, then my knee, and then my thigh. He licks the sensitive skin before blowing softly there. Then inches higher, all the while making sure I’m watching him. If I didn’t have the support behind me, I would’ve melted into the bed when his tongue made its first swipe.

I moan his name, my fingers sliding into his hair, holding him there. Spencer licks and circles my clit with varying levels of pressure. I’m unable to do anything but let him take command of my body as he drives me insane with pleasure. My God, watching him is intoxicating. When his green eyes meet mine, I could come right there. The intensity of his stare drives me wild.

He moves his head side to side, licking and sucking, moving his tongue around and around. I can’t take much more. The intimacy of it all is too much. It feels too good. “I’m so close,” I mutter. “So close.”

“Let go, I’ll be here to hold you together.”

His finger slides into me as he latches his mouth onto my clit, flicking, sucking, and licking harder. I want to let go. I want to fall apart in his arms because this is what I have always wished for. For him to be the one to catch me.

My legs begin to shake, and the climax nears. I can’t fight it—I don’t want to fight it, so I let him push me into a freefall. Wave after wave of pleasure rolls over me, washing away all the sadness and anxiety and leaving me raw and sated.