Heartbreaker(36)

“Should have guessed I’d find you here.” The door opens, and Finn steps outside. “Rule number one: look for Eva in the darkest, quietest corner of any party.” He looks around. “This place is a madhouse already. How did you even find a place alone?”

“It’s a super power, I guess,” I reply lightly, but my heart stutters at the sight of him in a simple white tee shirt and threadbare jeans, good enough to eat.

“I guess we should be glad you didn’t bring a book,” Finn grins. “Then you wouldn’t notice a single thing.”

“I’m not that bad!” I protest.

He laughs. “Kidding. To tell the truth, I always envied your focus.” He takes a seat beside me on the swing and pushes off, rocking us back and forth. “Maybe I would have done better in school without all those distractions.”

“You mean girls.”

“Touché.” Finn smiles. “Lottie seems to be having a good time. I just saw her recruiting some guys to set up a karaoke machine.”

“Stop her, for all our sakes,” I laugh. “I mean, I love my sister, but the girl cannot carry a tune.” I pause, glancing over. “Thank you,” I say quietly. “For the party. You really didn’t have to go all out like this.”

“It’s nothing.” Finn waves away my praise. “She deserves it. She’s a good kid.”

“Not such a kid anymore,” I remark, feeling wistful. “I think she’s more grown up than me, sometimes. I just wish.” I stop. Finn looks over, waiting. “Just, that she’d had a chance to do something different. We all love Kit, but she used to have all these dreams, about traveling the world, or moving to LA to work in fashion. She was going to have all kinds of big adventures.”

“You mean like you were planning?” Finn takes a sip of his beer. “How did that work out for you?”

His voice is even, but still, I tense. “That’s different.”

“Is it?” He watches me, steady. “The girl I knew was ready to take a risk, just leap into the unknown.”

I fight back emotion. “Maybe you didn’t know me so well.”

“Come on.” Finn looks at me, that deep stare I couldn’t hide from if I tried. Right away I feel on trial, exposed for him to judge. “You were going to conquer the world, Eva. What happened to you?”

I swallow hard. “I hit the ground,” I tell him, and get up.

“Eva—”

“No, don’t. I get it,” I say bitterly. “You remember someone different. Someone fun, and wild, and ready to take on the world. Well, I tried, but sometimes the world isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

I turn for the door, but it flies open. “Time for cake!” Delilah cries, grabbing my hand. “Come on, I bet Lottie she couldn’t blow out all twenty in one go. If she forfeits, someone’s going skinny-dipping!”

Grateful, I let Dee pull me back inside, the party enveloping me in bright noise again. But still, I can’t shake the memory of Finn just now, and that sad disappointment in his eyes. He has no right to be disappointed, none at all. If I failed to live up to all his expectations, he should share the blame, too.

It’s easy to be young and reckless when you’ve never tasted loss before.

I bite back my sadness, and force on a big smile. “Look at that cake!” I cry, joining Lottie and the crowd in the main room, clustered around the biggest three-tier chocolate cake I’ve ever seen. “Where did you even get something like that?”

“Finn had it made special order in the city.” Lottie beams. “We’re going to be eating leftovers for a week.”

“I love it when you talk dirty,” Dee laughs, arm around her on the other side. She holds up her phone to take a pic. “Now everyone smile and say, ‘frosting!”

The crowd cheers and applauds as Lottie blows out the candles – every last one. “Lucky escape,” Delilah laughs. Lottie grins, her eyes going to that Sam guy.

“I don’t know, I might try the creek out – after another few drinks.”

I remember her birthday last year, how tired and stressed she was. Kit wasn’t feeding properly, and we barely had time for some takeout and five minutes of a DVD before he bawled his eyes out, demanding her harried attention again. I feel a wave of pride at how far she’s come. For all my anxiety about Finn, I’m glad she’s getting the night of fun and sparkle she deserves.

Lottie cuts into the cake, and everyone breaks out in a chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’. She laughs, and takes a bow, but when the final chords die away, she hones in on Finn. “Will you play something?” she begs. “Pretty please?”

He looks bashful.

“C’mon,” Delilah joins the cause. “Just one song. You’re the big superstar, after all. And it is her birthday.”

“Guys,” I murmur, uncomfortable. “He’s done enough already.”

“It’s fine.” Finn smiles at me. “Hold on.” He leaves the room, and comes back a moment later with his guitar slung around his neck. He strums a couple of chords, and the room quiets. All eyes are on him. “Any requests?”

Lottie claps her hands together in glee. “Seriously? Oh my God. Dee,” she hisses. “You better be filming this!”