Heartbreaker(35)
I sigh. Partying is the last thing on my mind right now, but I know Lottie will be excited. I get up from the swing. “You will tell me, won’t you?” I check. “If things get bad with the bills, or if there’s some way I can help?”
“Of course.” Edith smiles. “You’re a good girl, you know. Better than he ever deserved.”
I don’t need to ask who she means.
“Now, you go get ready,” she insists. “And see if anyone feels like taking a couple of these puppies off our hands!”
Twelve.
For Lottie’s sake, I dress up tonight – at least that’s what I tell myself as I drive over to Finn’s house. I can hear the party from the bottom of the driveway. Cars are parked haphazardly all the way up, with loud music playing and the sound of conversation drifting on the breeze. It’s a warm night, and the scent of rhododendrons is thick in the air. Lanterns are strung all the way down to the far dock.
I get out and smooth my skirt down, nervous. If I could have shown up in overalls, it would have been safer. Instead, I’m wearing a fluttery skirt with a silky tank. Perfectly demure by any standards, but all I can think about is how easy it would be to lift the hem higher, or slip the spaghetti straps down over my shoulders…
No. Bad Eva. Think sober, unsexy thoughts.
I head up the front steps. It looks like every door and window in the old house is flung open, spilling bright lights and laughter out into the dusk light. Inside, the place is packed, with dozens of faces I recognize, and plenty I don’t.
“Isn’t this great?” Lottie grabs me from behind as I make my way deeper inside. “I don’t know how he pulled it off, but everyone’s here!”
“Happy early birthday,” I laugh, hugging her. “Did Kit get settled with the babysitter?”
“Yup.” She beams, grabbing a bottle from the table. “And she’s promised to text hourly updates. So as far as I’m concerned, I’m young, free, and single tonight.”
“Atta girl!” Delilah joins us, slapping her on the ass. “I’ll drink to that.” She grabs us some glasses, and Lottie pours. “Champagne?” She notes the bottle and whistles.
“He bought, like, a whole case,” Lottie says, eyes wide. “And there’s catering, too, all kinds of food and desserts. I feel kind of bad. I didn’t expect anything like this.”
“He can afford it,” Delilah says blithely, toasting us. “And if he wants to try and buy your affections, let him.”
“My what?” Lottie frowns.
“To get on your good side,” Delilah explains. “Because of Eva.”
“Leave me out of this,” I say quickly, gulping my drink.
“But wait.” Lottie grabs my arm. “What does she mean-?”
“Oh look!” I interrupt, spotting someone across the room. “Isn’t that the cute guy who talked to you in the park? You should go say hello.”
Lottie’s head snaps around. “Sam!” She brightens, then heads across to talk to him.
“Quick save,” Delilah smirks.
“Don’t you start.” I give her a look.
“My lips, sealed.” Dee mimes locking them shut. “I’m just glad you finally wore a ‘f*ck me’ outfit.”
“What?” My voice rises an octave. She laughs.
“The heart wants what the heart wants. Good luck!” Delilah saunters away, leaving me in a new panic. It’s not my heart that’s the problem, it’s my body that’s betraying me. Every time I see someone out of the corner of my eye I turn, hoping that they’re Finn.
Where is he?
I decide to try and settle my stomach, and head on through to the buffet tables set up in the dining room. Lottie was right, Finn spared no expense for this. There’s BBQ and sliders, but also sushi, and intricate little hors d’oeuvres, enough to feed a small army. I fill a plate, then slip out to one of the side porches to sit in the dark and watch the last of the pale light while the party whirls on inside.
I sit back in the old swing, curling my feet underneath me. Lottie getting another year older, Delilah barreling on with her plan to take over the real estate world, it all makes me think about my own life, and how it’s barely moving at all. My job is fine, and pays the bills, and I love the work I do at the shelter, but I can’t deny the restless urge I get, clicking through Pinterest and websites late at night, looking at the million other possibilities waiting out there in the world for me.
I’ve come close to leaving a hundred times. After things got back to normal, and I felt like I was on solid ground after all the chaos of New York, I even looked up which colleges had good theatre programs nearby. I must have downloaded a dozen applications, even started filling a few out, but every time I really thought about packing my bags up and heading out again on my own, something inside me froze up. I made such a mess of things last time around, part of me is scared it’ll happen again. That I’ll make one wrong decision and send my life hurtling off track again, but this time in ways that can’t be fixed so easily.
Here in Oak Harbor, at least I know I’m doing the right thing. Sure, it’s a simple, quiet life, but I don’t wake up in the morning feeling like I have a knife in my heart and a stranger in my bed.