Heartbreaker(13)

My Finn. Back again.

He makes a low groan, sliding his hands lower, possessive, to cup my ass and bring me hard against him. Time is lost, gone forever as his lips take possession of me completely, and I match him kiss for kiss. Desire rages to life again, so sharp and craving. It’s like I’ve been sleepwalking for the past five years, and only just come back to life. The world bursts from black and white to glorious, vivid technicolor.

Finn drags his mouth from mine, and slowly trails a path of sinful kisses along my jawline. I shiver. I’m melted, boneless, lost to the dark whisper of the cypress trees overhead and the feel of his lips, so sweet on my tender skin.

He reaches my ear, and nibbles my lobe. I let out a breathy sigh that turns to a moan as his palm skims across my breast.

“Look at me,” he whispers, in a low husky voice that sends molten honey pooling between my thighs. “Look at me, baby.” He tilts my chin up, so I have no choice but to stare into those stormy eyes, the face I’ve imagined so many nights in scenes just like this. He traces my lips with his thumb, and I shudder at the friction. Light-headed, dizzy with desire, I part my lips, ready for another kiss.

Finn’s lips curl in a victorious smile. “Ancient history, huh?” he teases, stepping back. I blink, still reeling as cold air rushes to fill the space his warm body has left behind.

Wait, what?

Finn chuckles, and the smirk on his face snaps me back to reality.

This is a game to him.

My heart is racing, and I want him so bad, but I manage to wrestle my hormones under control.

He thinks he’s in control, but I can feel how much he wants me. Two can play that game.

I give him my best swooning look. Which, to be fair, doesn’t take a whole lot of acting. Then I lean in, kiss a path along his jawline, all the way to that sensitive spot by his earlobe, the one that always drove him crazy.

Right on cue, Finn tenses against me.

“You know, you could come in…” I whisper softly in his ear. “Or…”

“Or what?” Finn’s hands go around my waist, but I duck away from him.

“Or you could take a cold shower.” I smile, and step back. “Sweet dreams!”

I turn and saunter up to the house. I hear a disbelieving silence behind me, then Finn laughs.

“Sweet dreams to you too, baby.”





Five.


I barely get a wink of sleep. For hours, all I can do is replay that kiss, every heart-stopping, soul-shaking, panty-twisting moment, until I’m tangled up in my sheets, so turned on and frustrated I could scream.

Did he plan this? To stroll back into my life and turn it upside down? But why, after all this time? He couldn’t know what he did to me last time around, how breaking my heart sent my whole world off-kilter, like losing your balance so badly every moment has you grasping for solid ground. I went down the rabbit hole without him – chasing anything that wiped my pain away until I almost lost myself entirely.

Now he’s back, a part of me is scared I’ll do it all over again.

Is he just toying with me for kicks, to prove he’s still got a hold over me? But why go through all this trouble to get under my skin when he has women lined up to occupy his time? He could walk into any bar in the country – the world! – and have a girl fall at his feet. Even before his rock star days, Finn never wanted for female attention. Those soulful eyes and teasing grin made sure of that. So why, out of all the dive bars in all the world, did he have to walk into mine?

The questions circle in my head until my poor, tired brain finally gives up the fight and falls into a restless sleep. I wake in the morning to pale light streaming through the drapes and a beautiful spring day outside my window. But inside, I’m still exhausted and confused.

And all I want is Finn, right here, tangling these sheets with me and pressing me into the mattress with every hard inch of his--

No, I tell myself sternly, leaping out of bed and forcing myself into the shower. Whatever games Finn is playing, I don’t have to join in. Just because he looks like a depraved angel and kisses like a god, I don’t have to turn into a simpering sixteen year old the minute he shows his face again.

Kissing isn’t the only thing he knows how to do…

I linger in the shower, letting my wandering hands soothe the ache of lust as I replay that kiss just one more time. The feel of his body, his hands sliding so possessive and right. I trace the path he touched, and then further still, delving deeper between my thighs until my body shudders with release, his face the only thing on my mind.

I finally shut off the water and dry myself, already guilty that I let him back into my mind. Maybe my friends have a point. If I’d been dating more, clearly I wouldn’t have all this pent up sexual energy ready to explode the first time anyone strikes a match.

Not just anyone. Finn.

But then, he always did have this hold on me – awakening a side to me I’d never known before. And that first night… I flush to even think of it now. How fast I tumbled into his arms, and how it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

It was New Year’s Eve of junior year, and I’d pretty much given up hope that he saw me as anything but a friend. All autumn, I’d been falling for him, counting down the minutes between our hallways conversations, or those precious moments when he drove me home. But every time we were together, he was nothing but a gentleman. He’d drop me off with a smile and a ‘see you around’. Meanwhile, I’d glimpse him sneaking out of school with senior girls, hear the murmurs of gossip about his latest hook-ups.