Heartbreaker(12)

I catch my breath, head spinning with memories. It feels like I’m right back there, in that car, my body craving him with the same wild hunger. God, I’d forgotten how it felt. The way he looked at me, the way his touch could make me forget my own name. I’d never felt something so wild and intoxicating, a rush that blotted out all reason and consequence, and just made me demand more, closer, now.

I learned the hard way that a feeling like that is hard to find.

I splash cold water on my face, angry that my body is betraying me all over again. It’s one thing to be reckless and hormonal when you’re sixteen and it’s the first time a boy has ever touched you, but now?

You’re better than this, I tell myself sternly. Even though I know, deep down, that it’s a lie.

This was a mistake. I thought one drink would be OK, but it’s already too much. Now I’m reliving all the burning, sensual memories, and dealing with the knowledge that none of it made a difference to him. For all those hot, sleepless nights we spent tangled up in each other, it didn’t stop him from leaving without goodbye. It didn’t save me from the heartbreak that followed.

I know better now. I know enough not to let it go so far.

I finally leave the safety of the bathroom. To my relief, Finn isn’t alone at our table; a group of guys has stopped by to say hello. I use the chance to slip through the crowd and escape back out onto the street. It’s late now, and the ocean wind whips around me, a welcome relief on my hot skin.

I hug my arms around myself, twenty steps down the street before I hear footsteps behind me, and Finn’s voice. “You forgot your purse.”

I turn. He’s holding out my bag. “Thanks.” I snatch it from him and back away. “It’s late, so I’m heading home.”

“You’re walking?” He frowns.

“It’s not far.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“No, thanks, I’m fine.” I insist, and start walking away from him again. But Finn falls into step beside me. “Really,” I sigh. “This is Oak Harbor, what do you think’s going to happen to me?”

“Nothing, because I’m walking you home.” Finn’s voice is stubborn, and I know I’m on the losing end of this battle, so I don’t argue again. I just keep walking, trying to corral the old emotions churning through me.

Why did he have to come back? Why did he have to remind me of everything I used to feel, all those things I’ve told myself were just a dream?

We walk in silence. Cars pass us by, the headlights flooding the dark street, but neither of us speaks. I wordlessly turn down the road towards the house, and Finn stays alongside me.

The distance between us makes me ache. This is the one man I knew better than anyone in the world. I know his every last secret, all his hopes and dreams, but now I can’t even find a single thing to say. It’s been too much time, too much hurt. But still I feel it, those synapses firing just from his nearness and the faint drift of his aftershave on the chilled night breeze. I have to stuff my hands in my pockets to keep from reaching for his hand, and twisting my fingers through his the way I always used to do.

It’s just muscle memory, I tell myself. Old habits die hard.

I can see the faint porch light of my place up ahead when Finn clears his throat. “Listen, Eva, I wanted to say.” He stops there on the dark road, with nothing but the moon to illuminate the shadowed planes of his face. Finn looks reluctant, resigned. “About what happened, when I left—’

“Don’t.” I cut him off before he can try to justify what he did. My pride is all I’ve got now, and I can’t bear for him to know how thoroughly he broke my heart. “You don’t need to explain. Ancient history,” I add, with a forced little laugh. “It’s all over now. Thanks for walking me, but I’ve got it from here.”

I turn to go, but then his hand is on my arm, pulling me back, pressing me hard against a wall of solid muscle.

“Is that what you really think?” Finn demands, searching my face, just inches between us. There’s something raw in his voice, something wounded and real.

“I…” I stop, caught in the intensity of his gaze. The feel of his body, the hot whisper of his breath on my skin, it’s overwhelming. And oh, those lips, so close… A hundred volts of electricity race through my numb, tired veins, short-circuiting my brain until I can’t think, can’t breathe. I can only feel him. All of him.

I fight for air, my blood pounding in my ears. “Finn…” I whisper, pleading, but for what, I don’t know. And then his lips claim mine in an urgent, fevered kiss, and I realize what I’ve been waiting for since the moment he walked through those doors.

This. Right here.

Finn kisses me hard, yanking me closer and circling me with those taut, chiseled arms. His mouth is hot against mine, merciless and wild. He eases my lips apart, exploring the wet, hot depths as his tongue slides deeper, demanding. I buckle against him, sensation flooding through me. It’s lightning to dry wood, the sharp spark that roars to wildfire in an instant, the heat surging through my entire body.

And God, I can’t get enough.

My hands are in his hair. My body presses close against him, like I could mold myself to his form. The years melt away, obliterated by the force of our passion, so familiar but still so new. Every touch, every taste feels like a revelation.