Heartbreaker(10)

“I have to apologize,” Sawyer sounds stressed. “I’ve got a mare in breech birth, and I won’t be able to leave. I left you a message earlier, but I guess you didn’t get it.”

I’m disappointed, but I hide it. “That’s OK. We can do it another time.”

“I’m out of town this week for a conference, but can I call you when I get back?”

“Sure, just let me know. Anything interesting?”

He chuckles. “That depends if you like artificial insemination of livestock.”

I laugh. “I think I’ll pass. Have fun.”

“You too. And I’m really sorry,” he adds, sincere. “But I look forward to seeing you when I get back.”

I hang up, alone for a moment outside. I could go back in and hang out with Delilah – and whatever guys she’s managed to rustle up this week – but I’m not in the mood. I turn, about to head back home, when someone steps out of the shadows.

“Hot date?” Finn leans against the wall, an unlit cigarette in his hand. With the lights playing off his face, he’s suddenly all chiseled angles and a dark, sexy stare. Mysterious. Dangerous.

Utterly intoxicating.

My pulse kicks, and I remember the way those restless hands felt sliding over my body; the slow, hot drag of his mouth on my bare skin.

“What if it was?” I ask, heart racing.

He gives me a slow, molten look. “He’s a lucky guy.”

I look away, unsettled by the heat racing through my blood. “He can’t make it,” I admit. “He’s out on an emergency.”

“His loss.”

I glance back. “Since when do you smoke? I thought you always said it was toxic for your voice.”

Finn gives a wry smile. “Just one of my many bad habits. I try not to… except at times of extreme stress.”

“What’s so stressful?”

He doesn’t answer, just looks at me again, wreathed in shadows. “Are you hungry?”

I blink, thrown.

“Come back inside, get a bite to eat.” Finn smiles at me, a dangerous, seductive grin. “I promise I won’t bite.”

Lust pulls, low in my stomach. Oh boy. I should leave right now, put as much distance as possible between me and that hungry gaze as I can. But I reason with myself. I haven’t eaten anything in hours, and this is a crowded bar. Delilah’s right there waiting for me, too. It’s perfectly safe.

Because that’s the thing about Finn. He became my bad influence, the one person who sparked a hint of reckless rebellion. With him, I was suddenly adventurous and brave, always up for a new risk, as long as he was right there with me. And after he left… I chased that reckless feeling all the way to New York; trying my hardest to prove it wasn’t just him, that I could be brave all on my own, no matter how many clubs and bars and come-down morning-afters it took. It took me a long time to realize, those were just fake highs I was chasing.

Finn McKay was the only genuine rush around.

Tonight, I feel it all over again, snaking hot through my bloodstream, and making the hairs on my skin stand on end.

Just one drink, that tempting voice whispers in my mind. What harm will it do?

God, I’ve missed this feeling. There’s nothing like it in the world. So I forget the tears, and the heartbreak, and the secret I’ve carried for the last five years. “Sure,” I tell him. “Why not?”





Four.


As I step back inside, I make a quick, desperate vow to myself. I can play pretend. I’ll chat, and catch up, and betray nothing about the hurt he caused me. If Finn can act like nothing’s wrong, then I can do the same. It was just a high school fling, years ago. No reason for this emotion churning in my stomach, or the dizzy, light-headed feeling I get just looking at his gorgeous face again.

Casual. Friends. Simple.

It’s not like this morning, when I didn’t see him coming. Now that I’ve had a chance to process it all, I should be fine. We’ll have a beer, some easy conversation, and go our separate ways. Right?

I follow him across the room. Finn leads me to a booth in the corner, set away from the crowd. Romantic. I search out Delilah, and frantically beckon her over, but she just gives me a big thumbs up and turns back to her friends.

I’m on my own.

“The usual?” Finn asks, gesturing to the bar. For a moment, I’m tempted to order something new, something completely different to show how much I’ve changed since he’s been gone. But the truth is, I’ve been craving those chili fries all afternoon. I nod, and he answers with a smile. “Be right back.”

I slide into the booth, and in no time at all Finn is sitting opposite me again, lounging casual against the cracked leather booth. “I’ve missed this place. Every other bar in LA tries so hard to be like this, but it’s just not the same.”

“No sticky stains on the floor and gum under the tables?” I ask lightly.

“Exactly.” He grins. “Plus, Dixie’s one of a kind.” He reaches up to push back his hair. It falls almost past his shoulders now, and I’m struck with a sudden urge to reach out and touch it. I grip my beer and take a long gulp. Down, girl.

“Is that where you’re living now?” I ask.

“LA? Off and on. I have a place there, but I barely ever see it. The tour has been pretty much non-stop.” Finn exhales a long breath. “It started out just a few dates in Europe, back when the record was first released. But then the single hit, so they kept adding new dates. The States, and South America, back to Europe again…they wanted to keep going. But I had to tell my manager, one more show and I was going to drop dead right there on stage.”