Healing Gabe (The Last Hangman MC #3)(13)
“What?” He looks at me just as confused.
“Nothing.” I sigh and resume my position on the couch, not happy about this situation. On one hand I’m pleased he’s here not acting like he hates me, but on the other hand, it’s unnerving to have him here. He’s wearing a black Henley shirt that fits him like a glove, I swear I can see every muscle. His black jeans and black leather boots, beard, light hazelnut eyes and scar all add up to one deadly sexy combination. And I have to spend tonight with him, by myself.
He sits down next to me, our thighs touching, hands me a beer and sets the pizza box on the coffee table. “So, what are we watching?” he says before taking a bite out of a slice of pizza.
I stare at him and shake my head. “A Nightmare on Elm Street.” I take a slice of pizza and take an angry bite.
“Gotta love Freddy.” He smiles and takes another bite resuming the movie.
I’m speechless, I have no idea what to make of him coming here tonight and being all sweet and nice to me. “Why are you here, Gabe?”
He swallows his bite of pizza and continues staring at the TV for a minute before answering me. “I need answers. I know you probably don’t want to have this talk, but you’re the only one who knows exactly what happened and understands me and what I’ve been through, what we’ve been through. Ant and Cabe know but it’s not the same, they only know what I’ve told them, but they weren’t there and I couldn’t bring myself to tell them everything. I haven’t been able to talk to anyone for the past twelve years. I’ve been putting on a happy face when all I want is to know the truth, to know that she didn’t die in vain. I just need someone who will listen without judgment and won’t tell me how f*cked up I am.” Fuck. Me! I wasn’t expecting that. I knew the talk about Annie would come sooner or later, but I had no idea that he had been stuck for the past twelve years, unable find closure and move on. Granted, I haven’t either and she was my twin; I guess he really was in love with her. I didn’t think they were that serious.
“I’m not sure I have your answers Gabe, but I’m here if you need to talk. Despite you looking at me like I’m the last person you want to be around, I’ll be here for you if and when you need me,” I say softly, scared of my own voice failing me.
“I don’t deserve your help.” He sighs.
“Why not?” I set my pizza down, unable to eat given the current conversion. I grab the beers from the table and hand him one.
“Thanks,” he says before taking a long pull. “Because I’m responsible for Annie’s death. If I’d been able to stay away from her she’d still be here today. She’d probably be happy and married with kids.” He sighs.
“I highly doubt it. Trent was one sick f*cker, he wanted me to be with Jared and Annie to be with his Prez. He wouldn’t have stopped until we were paired off. You being there or not wouldn’t have changed a thing, we still wouldn’t have given Trent what he wanted but instead of just Annie dying I would have as well. Neither of us wanted that kind of life.”
“What kind of life did you want?”
“That’s not the point of your question, is it?”
He glares at me and then smiles softly. “Amuse me.”
I roll my eyes. “Honestly, I just want to be with someone who reciprocates my love. I want someone kind and laid back who I can laugh with, go on adventures with, be happy with and mourn with. I just want to be happy.” I shrug holding back tears. I know I’ll never have that, the chances of it happening with the one man I wish it could are even less.
“Ah shit, I didn’t mean to make you cry, Viv,” he says wrapping his arms around me, pulling me into a hug. This cannot be happening.
“I’m alright.” I sniff.
“Sure looks like it.” He raises his eyebrow at me.
“I just don’t trust anyone and I’m terrified that anyone I get close to will be taken away or leave me.” I shrug.
“I’m the exact same way.” He sighs. “That’s why I said earlier you shouldn’t have come back. Ayden and Line have been through some crazy shit both at the hands of the Bastards and the Kings. If they hear about you coming back, they’ll come after you and inevitably go after them. I don’t know how they will cope with it now that there are kids involved.”
“I know, I’m well aware that me coming back is selfish but there’s one thing you don’t understand. I haven’t been living these past twelve years, I’ve merely been surviving. All I want is for them to forget that I f*cking exist and let me live my life. I’ve been followed everywhere I went since I left and I can’t stand it anymore. I haven’t had a home or a real family since this place. This is the only home I have, and I honestly don’t care if they come after me anymore. I’m done running. I just want to be here and be happy.”
“Fuck. Why did you have to go live with Trent in the first place?”
“Because my parents died and he was our only living relative,” I say softly.
“What happened?”
“What do you think happened? Trent had them killed, he murdered his own brother. Just so we’d have to live with him. He wanted to use us as bait and leverage with the Bastards in order to merge the clubs. He wanted one huge club that would be the most powerful in the area and he would’ve been able to take the Last Hangman down. Unfortunately for him, it didn’t go as he had planned.