Healing Gabe (The Last Hangman MC #3)(12)

Viv

Well, that went well.

I’m so glad I got to see my friends again and even happier for Ayd and Ant now that they are together with a family of their own, but f*cking hell if it wasn’t weird to see Gabe.

I never expected to see him again, not after what happened. He still seems to hate me and I can’t blame him, it’s weird for me to be anywhere near him again. I don’t want things to be awkward when hanging out with everyone with him there. You could feel the electricity in the air when we were around each other. I’m not sure if it’s a good or a bad thing, but it was sure there.

Why in the hell did he offer to spend Valentine’s Day with me? I’m not some charity case. I’ve spent every single Valentine’s Day of my twenty nine years of existence alone, and I don’t need him to come and be my knight in leather boots for f*ck’s sake! I seriously hope he was joking or he'd forget, that’d be brilliant!

I get why he’s so pissed and still hates me. I wanted to run away when I saw he was there, but I’m done hiding. Yes, it brought back a lot of unwanted memories but they are always with me so it doesn’t change much. Seeing him was harder than I thought though, not only because of Annie but also because I’ve always had a major f*cking crush on him. Hell, it was more than a crush and I hate myself for that. Your first crush shouldn’t be the guy your deceased twin sister was in love with. Yet, that’s what happened for some unexplained reason. I never said anything to anyone, knowing he wanted Annie, the more innocent, sweet and loving one out of the two of us. I thought those feelings would die down whilst away, but evidently they didn’t. I still love him and yet, I hate him and can’t f*cking stand him at the same time.

The man was hot when we were younger but now, bloody hell it should be illegal to be that attractive! The scar he got the day he saved me from Jared is still very much there and taunted me when we were talking. It’s a constant reminder of what we went through.

I wonder what he’s been up to all these years, if he was able to make peace with the past and move on and meet someone. I also wonder how Nicole is, the one thing that I’m grateful for, is that none of this ever fell back on her. I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself if anything had happened to Nicole. She was innocent in all of this, and as far as I know, never was aware of what was happening around her.

Sometimes I wish my life could have been different. What if my father hadn’t been in a MC and he and my mother hadn’t been murdered, what if I had given Jared what he wanted. Maybe Annie would still be here and she’d be happily married to Gabe with 2.5 kids. We’d all be free from this nightmare and happy, or maybe we would have been happy with life as a part of the Last Hangman MC.

These questions have been driving me insane for the past twelve years and it needs to end, I just haven’t figured out how to stop them. Torturing myself is pointless, it happened and that is all there is to it and I’m pretty sure things would have still turned to shit because Trent was relentless.

I’m scared one of the things Gabe mentioned will turn out to be true. That me coming back is only going to make things worse and something bad will happen. Coming back here was very selfish. I’m well aware that wherever I go, people die. I’m used to it. At first, I thought it was just a coincidence, but when it starts to happen in every single city you visit, you start to get paranoid. Whenever I would get close to someone, they would mysteriously disappear. After a couple of months I made the connection and I never got close to anyone ever again.

Up until now, I felt like the life I’m living wasn’t worth living, but thinking about the good times when my parents and Annie were still alive is giving me some hope that coming back to where it all started might not be such a bad idea. They would have wanted me to keep going and fight for my life and freedom. It might be a pointless battle but it’s one I need to fight on my own.

I’m relieved to see that it’s already nine and there’s still no sign of Gabe. I guess he was just all talk. I’m glad for it to be honest; I don’t think I could have coped with spending the evening just the two of us.

I settle down in front of the TV with a pint of Cherry Garcia ice cream and put on a horror movie. I’m really getting into the movie and just as it gets to a jumpy bit, my doorbell rings and I scream. “Fuck!” I yell, pausing the movie and setting the ice cream on the coffee table.

I go to the door and freeze when I open it and see who’s on the other side. Fuck me sideways.

“Gabe.”

“Viv.”

“I thought you forgot,” I say softly.

“And miss the chance to torment you?” He chuckles raising his eyebrow.

“Right, you know there’s still time to go back to your place,” I say trying to send him away.

“I’m not letting a beautiful woman like you spend tonight alone, so move out of my way. I have pizza, beer and Red Velvet donuts that you’re going to f*cking enjoy.” Now, what in the hell am I supposed to say to that?

“Fine. Come on in.” I sigh and let him in.

“Cosy.” He says looking around as he puts the food and beers on the kitchen counter. He keeps two beers out and places the rest in the fridge along with my half eaten ice cream pint in the freezer.

“Thanks?” I look at him confused. He’s looking way too comfortable in my house.