Hare Today, Bear Tomorrow (Mating Call Dating Agency #1)
by Lynn Red
1
Stacy Graves sat glaring at the athletic tape on his wrists. Clenching his huge fists, the muscles in his forearms tested the tape. It squeaked softly as it stretched and when he relaxed his hands, he also let out a sigh.
His shaggy, curly, brown hair hung around his face, framing his burning blue eyes.
Outside of the locker room, a huge noise went up. The crowd in White Creek was always rowdy, but this was something else entirely.
“Head on square, Graves,” he said to himself in the empty room. He reached down and tightened the laces on his boots. “Keep your brain in check or you’re gonna end up eating a clothesline for dinner and ending up flat on your ass.”
“When’s the last time a clothesline flattened you out, big guy?”
“Hey Rush,” Stacy grunted. “When did you get here?”
“About five seconds ago. You still thinking about the impending march of time bearing down on you? None of us are getting any younger, but you’re getting older faster than most of us.” Rush sat down on the bench beside his best friend. Stacy was two heads taller than his friend, and about twice as thick, too. “I’m just kidding, by the way. That was a joke.”
“Nah,” Stacy growled, as he pulled his hair into a loose ponytail. “Just thinkin’ about, I don’t know, settling down, I guess. You ever think of getting off the road and finding yourself a cute little jackal and having a brood of... whatever jackal babies are called?”
Rush slumped his shoulders and let out a sigh. “Nah, the one ex-wife and the two pups I already have are plenty. But you do need someone. The saddest thing in the world is a mateless bear.”
“It’s not like I’m pining or anything,” Stacy said. “Just thinking.”
“Right,” Rush said with a grin. “You’re not pining at all. You’re not sitting alone in a locker room studying the tape on your wrists like it was some kind of artistic masterpiece. You’re totally not pining at all. Totally not pining.”
“Well what the hell would I do about it anyway?” Stacy asked, shrugging his massive shoulders. “Ain’t like we have much time for all that.”
“Oh pal, you gotta do something. I can’t have my tag team partner moping around all night. That just won’t do. Anyway, we’re in your hometown, surely there’s somewhere you can meet someone? A bar after the show?”
“I’m too old for all that. The music irritates me. Bars are always so loud you can’t even hear yourself think.”
The two sat silently for a moment. The crowd noise from outside swelled and receded. The main event was coming up, and when it did, Stacy knew he’d have to just grin and bear it, even if he didn’t much feel like working the mat.
“Hey, what about this?” Rush elbowed the bear and showed him the screen of his phone. “Mating Call Dating Agency. Sounds kind of old-school in the day of internet dating and all those creepy hookup sites, but if you’re too old for bars, you’re too old for Tinder.”
Stacy stared at the screen for a second. “I don’t know,” he said. “Seems kind of desperate doesn’t it? I mean, why can’t I find someone on my own? Why do I need some matchmaker to do it for me?”
“Right,” Rush said. “Look at the line of women outside the door. Oh wait, no, we’re two dudes sitting shirtless in a locker room. Yeah, why would you ever need help?”
Stacy let out a booming laugh. “Maybe,” he said. “I’ll think about it.”
“Don’t think,” Rush said. “Just do it. I already pushed the call button. You have to talk now.”
“Oh what the hell? I’m not talking to some—hello?”
“Mating Call Dating Agency, where every shifter finds a mate. What can I do for you?” The receptionist’s voice was musical, almost sing-songy.
“I, uh,” Stacy stammered. “Nothing, my buddy just called you guys. I don’t know why.”
Rush was getting red in the face from forcing himself to control his laughter.
“Probably because he’s actually a good friend, and knows you need help to find someone that’ll make you happy? I’m Dora, by the way. Do I have that about right?”
“Yes!” Rush shouted, loudly enough that she heard him through the phone.
“Er, well, yeah, I guess,” Stacy said. “I’m not very experienced with this sort of thing.”
“Well, with us, you won’t ever be very experienced with it. We’re good at what we do. Now, if you’ve got a second, I need to ask you a few questions to make sure you’re not some kind of psychopath. What do you do for fun?”
“And now, the fight you’ve been waiting for!” Blared over the arena’s loudspeakers. “The big, bad bear and the wily jackal! This is a night you’ll never forget!”
“I can’t right now,” Stacy said. “I’ve gotta go, er, work. Can I just come by tomorrow?”
As their entrance music began to thump and pound through the speakers, and the audience’s excited cheer erupted, Rush was grabbing Stacy and pulling him to his feet. “I’ll make sure he gets there,” Rush said into the phone. “Half-past ten.”