Hare Today, Bear Tomorrow (Mating Call Dating Agency #1)(11)
Rush deftly flung a hand up, popping Stacy’s hand off his shirt and twisting it around behind the big bear’s back. He pushed a little harder until Stacy let out a grunt and started flailing. Before long, the two of them were on the floor rolling around and sending up clouds of cornstarch, hair gel and spandex.
“All right, you two, save the huggin’ for the mat,” plodding footsteps preceded a bit of heavy breathing. Paul Gagne’s regular lip-licking followed. He always did that. “Hippos are falling fat. Flat. Freudian Slot.”
“Slip?” Stacy offered. “I think you meant Freudian Slip.”
“Oh ho, listen to the college boy, huh?” Gagne was a crocodile with a lisp and a really bad comb-over. Stacy figured that he kept it like that more for the comedy than anything else, since Paul Gagne was dapper in many other ways. He always wore well-kept suits that were tailored to his peculiar crocodilian figure. “Well whatever floats your stones.”
“Boat.” Rush added helpfully.
Aside from the comb-over and the suits, Gagne was known all around the business as a malapropism artist that could easily put Archie Bunker to shame. It ended up becoming one of the many trademarks that helped him be who he was. After being together for so long, the three of them had fallen into a relationship that most employees don’t share with their bosses.
It came with the territory though. The Shifter Wrestling Federation wasn’t exactly a huge money maker, but it did well enough to keep filling gyms all around the country. Past that, the three of them had been together for going on twenty years. An eternity in the business, but for them it had just become the way things were.
“You two need to get out there and save this show.” Paul mopped his forehead with such gusto that his comb-over fell down across his forehead. “Those two morons couldn’t fight their way out of a paper safe.”
“Out of a...what?” Rush asked, squinting his eyes and turning his head to the side just slightly. “I don’t even know how to correct one.”
“The first step is shuttin’ yer damn trap, coyote,” Paul said before whistling through his front teeth.
“Jackal.”
“Whatever,” Paul chuckled. “Get out there and save this damn thing. I know you two were s’posed to go against the Hyena twins tonight, but how’s about you go out there, whip up on the hippos, and then we see what the crowd wants?”
“So, just like we always do?” Stacy smiled and cracked his knuckles. How stiff you want us to get with the hippos?” Meaning ‘how bad do you want them actually beaten up’?
“Oh, you know,” Paul said, considering. “Stiff enough to drive a nail through a glass house.”
Stacy and Rush just stared at each other for a second. “He put like four sayings together that time,” Stacy said as the two listened to their entry music and grinned. No matter how many times he heard the clashing guitars and the crowd roar, it never, ever got old. Not one bit.
“Let’s do this shit, brother,” Rush said. “Your girl all right with the life? That’s the hardest part, you know, is sellin’ ‘em on this whole damn thing we do.”
The two made their way out of the backstage area. They pushed through the curtain, into a sea of flashing cellphones and screaming fans. Just like always, a flutter of excitement coursed through Stacy’s guts, but this time, there was another thought in the back of his mind. It wasn’t just about the surge of the crowd and his drive to please them. It wasn’t just about him and his blood-brother kicking some ass and then going out for drinks. This time, there was some twist of insanity in the lizard part of his brain. Something told Stacy he had something else to think about now, and before he knew it, he wasn’t even in the world of tights, leather pants and turnbuckles anymore.
He was sitting in a rocking chair in White Lake, in front of a house he didn’t recognize but felt completely at home occupying. For just a fraction of a split second, the giant bear with the mass of black hair and the huge traps was an old man hunched over a checkerboard. And across from him? Garnet had a wrinkly old face, twinkles in her dark brown eyes, and that little half-smile that made his heart sing.
“Son of a bitch,” Rush grunted, snapping his partner back into reality. “You just got googly eyes, man. You got malaria or something?”
“Worse,” Stacy grunted. “I think I’m in love.”
6
“So what’s the story?” Lita was on the phone, demanding to know the scoop before Garnet herself knew anything.
“Morning Glory,” Garnet said, making a bad joke about Oasis. She smiled to herself but figured she’s the only one who got the joke. That was okay though. “Sorry, rock music joke. Anyway, I have no idea. I just got into Toledo about fifteen minutes ago and pulled into an Arby’s.”
“Gross.”
“Yeah, I’ll say. When I hear about a hot beef and cheddar sandwich, I don’t imagine pastrami bathed in Rico nacho cheese on a Hawaiian roll. Either way, it did the job. But I gotta say I don’t even know what the hell I’m looking for.”
Almost immediately, and to her infinite frustration, Garnet started thinking about twinkling blue eyes and a half-cocked grin. She shook her head to try and clear the thoughts, but it was no good. That damn bear was in her brain and there wasn’t any getting him out.