Gone (Deadly Secrets #2)(20)

She couldn’t help but smile at the memory. They’d gone to the hospital for him, and she’d been the one who’d wound up needing the most medical attention. “You’re lucky I have such a thick skull or that could have been one expensive night.”

“Yeah, it would have been. It was already expensive enough with the surgery to fix my finger. If you’d needed a brain transplant, that would have decimated our savings.” His clear blue gaze skipped over her features in a familiar, loving way, and when she remembered the thousands of times he’d looked at her like that just before he’d kissed her, the heat in her cheeks spread down her neck and straight into her belly.

This was the old Alec she remembered. The easy-going, sarcastic, fun-loving Alec who’d always been able to make her laugh, whose quick smile and warm eyes could brighten even her worst day. The one she desperately wanted more of right now.

Nerves jumped around in her belly. She swallowed and tried to settle her suddenly racing pulse. Told herself this wasn’t then, that things were different now, that he didn’t feel the same. But when his gaze dropped to her lips, she couldn’t help but wonder . . . maybe.

Slowly, she set the cup at her side, braced her hands on the edge of the counter near her legs, and looked up at him. His body responded. She saw it in the way the vein at his throat pulsed. Watched the way his skin flushed. Felt the heat all but seeping from him into her at this close distance. And when his hand drifted to the edge of the counter, brushing hers, and she recognized the way his eyes darkened with need, she knew he wasn’t just thinking those same things, he was feeling them too.

The same combustible chemistry they’d always shared flared hot inside her. She leaned forward, wanting to touch him, to kiss him, to taste him. His body drifted her way, and her eyes fell closed. Heat surrounded her, but seconds later she still felt nothing. No warmth of his touch. No brush of his lips. No lingering slide of his tongue over hers that she could sample and savor and get lost in.

Confused, she opened her eyes and looked up. Then wished she hadn’t.

Unease filled Alec’s blue eyes as he angled back, away from her, out of her reach. “Raegs, don’t.”

Her heart contracted, not because he’d moved away but because he’d used that long-ago nickname, the one he’d called her by a million times when things between them had been happy, loving, and perfect.

“Alec—”

“It’s late.” He stepped farther back, putting more space between them. “You’re tired, I’m tired, and it’s been a really long day. Neither one of us wants to do something we’ll regret in the morning.”

That one word—“regret”—was like a swift punch to the stomach. Rejection burned like lava in her veins, heating her skin all over again, this time not with arousal but with mortification.

She looked away. Sat up straighter. Told herself he was right. But all she wanted to do now was run.

Except she couldn’t. She was trapped with him here tonight because of the snow. Trapped with an ex-husband she’d just tried to kiss and who’d made it more than clear he was no longer interested.

“Yeah, it has been a long day.” She scooted off the counter. Winced when her foot hit the floor and pain echoed around the cut. Turned quickly away so he couldn’t see. “If you’d just show me where the cleaning supplies are, I’ll take care of that mess.”

“No, I’ll do it. You just go on back to bed.”

Go back to bed. Like a child. Yeah, that made her feel waaaay better.

The etiquette her wealthy socialite mother had ingrained in her screamed she should argue and offer to help, but she didn’t want to help. She wanted to go back out to that couch, throw the blanket over her head, and pretend like the last twenty minutes had never happened.

“Yeah. Okay.” She stepped away. Tried like hell not to limp so he wouldn’t feel guilty about her injury again and try to help her back to the couch. Because the last thing she needed was him anywhere near her ever again.

“Raegan,” he called out at her back.

Not Raegs. She was back to Raegan again. Which—honestly—was probably fine. Better in the long run. Safer for her heart, for sure.

She didn’t stop. Just hobbled to the arched doorway that led to the living room, unable to bear looking back.

Because she knew if she did, she’d be lost forever.





CHAPTER SIX


Several hours later, Alec still felt like shit. And that feeling had nothing to do with the fact that he’d gotten zero sleep or that he’d frozen his ass off most of the night upstairs in his room.

No, this feeling had to do with the fact he’d made Raegan feel like shit. And he didn’t have a flippin’ clue how to fix that for her.

At least the power was back on. As the coffee finished brewing and sunlight slanted through the kitchen windows, casting a glare on the layer of white outside, he moved to the fridge, pulled it open, and frowned. No half-and-half. Raegan always liked half-and-half in her coffee. Man, he couldn’t even get her damn coffee right.

Shuffling sounded behind him. When he turned and saw the woman who’d occupied his thoughts all night long standing in the doorway to the living room, her shiny auburn hair sticking out all over, her eyes sleepy, and his sweats all but hanging off her thin body, something in his chest felt as if it took a long, hard roll.