Gone (Deadly Secrets #2)(17)

CHAPTER FIVE


Hours later, the snow hadn’t stopped and the power still wasn’t on. Alec couldn’t sleep, and it didn’t help that the floor was hard as rock or that every time Raegan shifted on the couch feet away and grunted with the movement, images of the two of them wrapped around each other in bed flashed behind his eyes, bringing his senses even more awake.

“You’re gonna wear a divot in my cushions if you don’t stop flopping around,” he said, staring at the shadows dancing over the ceiling from the fireplace, knowing there was no use even trying to sleep now.

She stilled. “Am I keeping you awake?”

“Just a little.”

“Sorry. I guess I’m not as tired as I thought.”

Neither was he. Not even close.

Several awkward beats of silence passed, then she said, “So Ethan’s fiancée seemed nice.”

Fabulous. She wanted to talk about his family. He was tempted to roll away from her and feign exhaustion but knew he could never pull it off.

“Yeah, Sam’s pretty great.”

“How long have they been together?”

“A couple months.”

“And they’re already engaged? Wow, that’s fast. And your parents are okay with that?”

“Yeah, they like her.”

“I see,” she said quietly.

He knew what she was thinking. That his parents had not been so okay with the two of them getting married so quickly after meeting. But their reaction to the news had nothing to do with her and everything to do with him. His parents had always thought he was too impulsive. As a teenager, when he’d wanted something, he’d gone for it, and more often than not, that impulsivity had come back to bite him in the ass. Years later, as an adult, when Alec had told them Raegan was pregnant and that they were getting married, they’d seen his decision as impulsive yet again. It hadn’t been, though. He’d been planning to propose to Raegan before she’d even told him about the baby. If it hadn’t been for one horrible moment in a park he’d wished a thousand times he could redo, he’d have proved his parents wrong by still being married to her.

He couldn’t tell Raegan that, though, and just the thought of it caused that hollow ache to reform in his chest. He cleared his throat. “Sam and Ethan survived a lot to be together. It’s a long story, but if anyone deserves to be happy, it’s those two.”

“Well, good for them,” she said quietly.

His chest tightened. He needed to change the topic. Talking about people being happy—especially another couple—was too painful.

“Sam and Ethan are partly responsible for my parents adopting Thomas too,” he said. “He was one of Sam’s students and the kid Ethan was observing when they met. When my parents found out he needed a home, well, they stepped in like always.”

She was silent for several seconds, then said, “I think it’s great your parents are giving Thomas a stable home and a real family. Every kid deserves that.”

He couldn’t stop himself from glancing over at her, and even in the dim light he didn’t miss the tension in her jaw or the way she stared at the ceiling as if lost in memories of her own childhood.

That heart he was pretty sure he didn’t have anymore contracted because he knew what she was remembering. Two parents who’d used her as a pawn in the war between them, bouncing her back and forth between LA and New York when she least expected it, rarely spending much time with her when she arrived at one or the other’s home because their personal lives were too busy for their own child.

Raegan had grown up a child of immense wealth but massive neglect. She had a soft heart and a gentle nature, and she’d turned out okay mostly because she’d learned to take care of herself. And because she’d chosen a college in the Pacific Northwest far away from either of her parents and eventually made that her home. A big, nosy family was not something she’d had much experience with before she’d met Alec, but she’d quickly grown to love his parents and siblings in a way that, even now, surprised him. Losing them in the divorce had been hard on her. Maybe harder than he’d realized until just this moment.

She rolled away and faced the back of the couch. “I think I’m finally tired now. Good night, Alec.”

“Yeah, me too,” he said because he didn’t know what else to say. “Night, Raegan.”

He forced himself to close his eyes but knew there was no way he’d be able to fall asleep. His heart beat too hard, and a thousand different memories were spinning through his head, all centered on the woman only feet away. And even though he knew he shouldn’t, he couldn’t stop thinking about the feel of her curled up next to him. Couldn’t stop imagining the warmth of her head resting on his shoulder. Couldn’t stop wishing he could banish every fear and doubt and moment of sadness from her life.

But he couldn’t. And he was the last person who should ever try.



She was a terrible liar.

Raegan wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but it felt like an eternity, and she still wasn’t the least bit tired. Rolling to her back as soundlessly as she could, she stared at the ceiling and focused on breathing. Thankfully, from the sound of Alec’s soft snoring on the floor, he didn’t have a clue she was still wide-awake.