From Twinkle, With Love(78)

Afterward, I hugged Skid, who was standing there with Portia, who was absolutely as stunning as he’d said she was. “Thank you,” I said to him, squeezing his arm. “You did a fantastic job with the footage. I know I didn’t give you much time.”

“Ah, you made it easy,” he said, waving a hand. “Your shots were all clean.”

I looked at Portia and shook my head. “He’s being overly humble right now. He’s basically a genius.”

“Oh, I know.” She smiled down at Skid (she had about six inches of height on him) in this adoring way. I knew then he was definitely going to have a serious girlfriend by the end of the summer. They waved to me and strolled off together. I sniffed. Wow. Skid hadn’t skimped on deodorant tonight.

Sahil came up to me. “Hey,” he said. “That was”—his eyes searched mine—“incredible.”

I smiled. “Thanks. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

There was a pause that stretched on as we stared at each other. “So,” I began.

“I have to go,” he said, scratching his jaw. “I came over to tell you there are a cluster of reporters and radio hosts from various places over there.” He waved to the back of the auditorium, where a group of people stood. “They want to talk to you.”

I stared at him, my mouth open. “Are you serious? The media people want to talk to me?”

He nodded, a small half smile playing at his lips. “You’re a star.” He leaned down and gave me a hug, and my eyes slipped shut as I felt his hard planes against my soft curves. “Good-bye, Twinkle,” he whispered, and then he walked away. My heart broke at the finality of his tone. He wasn’t just saying good-bye for tonight. He was saying good-bye forever.

Somehow, despite feeling like the moon had just crashed into the ocean and been swallowed, I managed to give the reporters what they wanted. They were all smiling and nodding; that’s how I know. When they left, Dadi came up to me. She hugged me and told me she was proud of me and that she loved my movie, like, a zillion times. And when she moved aside, I saw Mummy behind her, staring at me like she couldn’t believe it: Dracula, this creation, had come out of her creation.

I sat back after a while and just watched people. Neil, with some blond girl who didn’t go to our school, their arms around each other’s waists. I felt absolutely nothing. Matthew and Aaron, holding hands and walking out into the night. Lewis Shore and his dad talking to Maddie. Then she walked up to Brij and they began to talk, their heads close together. Victoria flirting with some big muscular dude wearing a Yankees jersey, who looked to be Francesca’s cousin.

I was happy for everyone. But all the celebrating felt like a distant world I couldn’t fully be a part of because of the gaping hole where my heart used to be. Dadi was right. It had gone from broken to pulverized.

Slowly, the auditorium began to empty out. And now I’m just sitting here, among all the empty chairs. I have no best friend and the guy I love doesn’t love me back anymore. The minute I leave, real life will begin again. All the magic will be over. So maybe I’ll just sit here writing in this journal until someone forces me out.

Which might be now, actually. I hear footsteps walking up behind me. Probably that spiteful-looking security guard with the patchy goatee I saw before. Sigh.

Love,

Twinkle





Saturday, June 27

Maddie’s car


Dear Sofia Coppola,

It wasn’t the security guard. It was Maddie. And Hannah.

Maddie came and sat by me, sweeping her fuchsia maxi dress under her. Reaching into her bag, she pulled out two Twizzlers and handed me one. “Here.”

“Oh. Thanks.” I took it and looked from her to Hannah, who was fabulous as usual in a bright yellow dress and a turquoise bib necklace. I sat silently, waiting for someone to explain what was going on. Hannah’s cheeks were faintly pink, and she kept looking at me and then away, fiddling with the strap of her purse.

Finally, Maddie cleared her throat and looked at Hannah, who walked forward and perched on the armrest of one of the theater chairs near mine. “Twinkle,” she said, “I’m so sorry.”

I dropped my Twizzler. “Um. What?” Maddie pressed another one into my hand, but I barely felt it.

“I’ve treated you pretty badly,” Hannah said, her clear blue eyes focused on mine. “And I’m sorry for that. I want you to know that it wasn’t about you at all.” She took a breath. “Maddie and I have had a chance to talk, and … I realized I was just, um, jealous. And scared. I didn’t want to lose Maddie to you, and it brought out this bad side of me.” She looked down at her hands in her lap, at the many rings on her fingers. “I know you’re really Maddie’s best friend. I never had a chance at all, and that bothered me. A lot. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you, though. I hope you’ll accept my apology.”

I glanced at Maddie, who was playing with a Twizzler and looking intently at me. “It’s okay,” I began to say to the both of them. “Well, maybe it’s not okay. But I … I understand. I know losing Maddie as my best friend hurt.” I smiled a little. “I let that hurt change me, too. But someone recently told me that if you can take steps to correct your mistakes, it makes a world of difference. And I respect that you’re doing that, Hannah.”