From Twinkle, With Love(73)

“So it’s not Maddie’s fault at all? It’s all Hannah’s fault?” I shook my head. “I can’t accept that.”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying.” Victoria frowned. “Like I said, Maddie didn’t handle it well. I’m just trying to help you understand from my perspective what went down. Anyway, I don’t even think it’s Hannah’s fault, exactly. I mean, sure, she’s constantly worked to keep you excluded, saying someone like you would just feel uncomfortable with people like us.”

“Stop trying to cheer me up,” I mumbled.

“But,” Victoria said, holding up one pointy finger, “I think that has to do more with Hannah’s insecurities than about you. She’s … super jealous.”

I jerked my head up. “Wait, what? You think she’s jealous … of me? Are you drunk?”

Vic threw her arms up and grinned. “On youth and beauty!” Then, seeing my raised eyebrow, she lowered her arms and got serious. “Look, Hannah’s BFF is Maddie, okay? But Maddie’s BFF, no question, has always been you. Even when she hangs out with us, she used to bring you up in every other conversation. ‘Oh, Twinkle had me watch that movie once. I didn’t get it, but she was talking about the symbolism and structure. She’s such a genius.’ ‘This one time, Twinkle and I made these peanut butter brownies, but we ended up almost burning down the kitchen and then her dadi tried to do a spell or something to get rid of the bad juju we’d invited into the house. Her parents were soooo mad. It was hilarious! I’ve never laughed so hard in my life!’” Victoria looked at me. “And you’re always so sharp in AP English with all your comments and questions, and Maddie just about burst with pride when you won that essay competition. You see what I’m saying?”

I bit my lip, still not convinced. “I think so. …”

“Hannah just can’t compete. So she reacts the only way she knows how: by trying to keep the two of you apart. Han’s never been super good at managing her negative emotions. She’s so used to everyone loving her best. It’s not easy for her. I tried to suggest including you more, so she could get to know you too, but she was not on board for that. It’s scary for her.” Victoria shrugged. “I mean, it’s not an excuse and she’s spoiled, no question. But maybe it’ll help for you to see why she’s like that.”

I couldn’t believe it. Hannah, with her cool palindrome of a name and her shiny, purple VW Bug, was jealous of me? Of how much Maddie loved me? The entire time I thought I was an invisible wallflower, I was intimidating to Hannah Macintosh? It made me feel bad for her. Maddie’s such a cool person. I know how much it sucks to lose her as a friend. But what if I’d never had the opportunity to be her best friend at all? What if I’d always known that there was someone else she liked more? What if I had to be relegated to second place all the time? That would suck even worse.

“Wow,” I breathed after a moment.

“Yeah. Case in point …” Vic pulled something out of the pocket of her skirt and held it out, her fist closed around it.

“What is it?” I asked, automatically extending my hand, palm open, so she could drop it in.

“Maddie wanted you to have that.”

I looked at the shiny metal in my palm. It was a silver charm bracelet with two charms on it. One was a video camera, and the other was half a broken heart with the words “Twinkle Mehra, Director” engraved on it. I looked up at Vic, blinking.

“She’s got the other half of that heart charm,” she said. “Hers says ‘Lead Actress, Maddie Tanaka’ on it. She told me she ordered it when you first cast her; it just came in.”

I was one of her charm bracelet buddies now. Was that Maddie’s way of telling me I was just as important to her as the rest of them? I closed my fist around the bracelet. “She gave it to you, not me,” I said, my voice thick.

“Yeah.” Victoria sighed. “She wanted you to have it, but …”

“But she didn’t want to see me or talk to me.” I swallowed the lump in my throat, not surprised that Maddie still had so much power over me.

“She’s pretty mad,” Vic explained.

We sat in silence. There wasn’t much to say about that.

After a few moments, Vic said, “It’s Sahil, right?”

Startled, I looked at her. “What?”

“You know.” She waved my pen around in the air. “The one you’re pining after. The one you dressed up for that one night. The one you’re so completely in love with.”

I shrugged.

“Mm-hmm.” She tossed my pen back on my desk and hopped up. “Come on.”

I frowned. “Where are we going?”

“Perk—we need some caffeine and sugar. I can’t have you Eeyoring it up tomorrow at Midsummer Night, Miss Director. So we’re going to flush this whatever-it-is out of your system. Let’s go.”

What choice did I have? Vic’s like a gale-force wind, sweeping people up in her wake like helpless little leaves. Setting the charm bracelet down on my desk, I followed her, and now we’re hurtling toward Perk. More soon; she’s trying to peek into this diary while also incessantly asking me questions.

Love,

Twinkle