From Twinkle, With Love(67)

I took a deep breath. “You know, I’ve always wanted to be a filmmaker. Some of my earliest, most favorite memories are of me making videos with … a friend.” She blinked but didn’t look away. “I’d video her doing something silly like riding her bike or baking a mud pie or something, but it always felt so vital to me. Like I was recording a piece of history.” I looked around at the cast. “I knew from when I was little that filmmaking was what I wanted to do when I grew up. But this was the first time I’ve ever had a chance to do something even vaguely on a professional level, and I wouldn’t have been able to do it without all of you. So thank you. Sincerely. You’ve all shown up, every time, and you’ve all been so fun to work with.” There was no need to mention all the times Lewis forgot his lines or Victoria took too long redoing her makeup or Francesca showed up fifteen minutes late because she had to stop at Starbucks to get her cappuccino. “May this movie be the ticket to your Ivy League futures. You’re all A-list in my eyes.”

Everyone laughed and clapped, and Sahil put an arm around me and pulled me close. “That was a nice speech,” he said quietly.

I smiled, a little embarrassed, and shrugged. “It was honest. Everyone’s been awesome. I feel like …” I looked around. “I feel like they’re my friends now. Sort of. Pseudo. Maybe.”

Sahil laughed. “A few qualifiers, but still. That’s cool.”

“Yeah.” I spotted Maddie and Lewis then, walking away quickly toward a grove of trees on the far right, under which was parked Lewis’s Range Rover. “Hey, I’ve got to go talk to Maddie before she leaves. I’ll catch up with you later, okay?”

“Sure.”

I hurried off, trying not to trip on the tree roots and rocks. “Maddie! Lewis! Wait up!”

I saw them glance back at me, whisper something to each other, and then stop. They had this tense look about them, like they were in a hurry and I’d caught them at a bad time. Breathing hard, I came to a stop in front of them. “Hey,” I said, smiling at both of them. Lewis smiled back; Maddie didn’t. “Listen. I just wanted to say … I’m sorry for the other day when we were shooting that scene. Lewis, I shouldn’t have said all those things to you. It was absolutely uncalled for and totally uncool.”

Lewis jerked his head so his blond hair flopped out of his blue eyes. “It’s okay. I shouldn’t have been a jerk to you either, and I should’ve learned my lines. You’d only told me a hundred times. So I’m sorry, too.”

I smiled. “It’s okay. Thanks for the apology.”

I looked at Maddie, who still wasn’t smiling. Her gold chandelier earrings glinted in the muted light from the bonfire. “I’m sorry to you too,” I said softly.

She crossed her arms, her puffy green vest crinkling. “For?”

Lewis cleared his throat. “I’m just going to, uh … make a phone call.” And he loped off toward his car.

I looked back at Maddie. “For the way I acted. When we were filming.”

Maddie nodded. “Right. And that’s it.”

I shook my head slowly. “What are you talking about?”

“You’ve been acting like a jerk for a lot longer than just that day,” she said, her eyes flashing. “Are you still going to show the footage that you took at Hannah’s party?”

I straightened my shoulders. This was my whole purpose in being a filmmaker. I wanted to show the world as it was, and this was my chance. “Everyone spoke to me on their own, Maddie. I didn’t trick anyone.”

“Right. So yes, you are still going to show it.”

I forced a laugh. “I don’t know what you’re getting so high and mighty for,” I said, throwing up my hands. “Speaking of being a jerk, how about the fact that you told me I shouldn’t even go to Hannah’s party because I’m too much of a loser? Or the fact that you ratted me out to my parents so I’d get in trouble?”

Maddie stared at me, her eyes wide. “I said you shouldn’t go to Hannah’s party for your own protection! Okay? Because I didn’t want you to get made fun of!”

I felt like she’d just stabbed me through the heart with her lip liner. “Oh, wow. Thanks for doing this big loser such a big favor, Maddie. Thanks a lot for looking out for me!”

“I was looking out for you,” she said. “That’s why I called your parents. Because I was worried about the way you were acting at the party!”

“The way I was acting?” I asked. “Are you freaking serious? You’ve totally forgotten how to be my friend, and I’m the one who’s acting different? You’re off dating Lewis Shore, who you said was too dumb to be dateable because he once said Africa was a country. Remember, Maddie? Or how about how you used to say people who got popular and forgot their friends were the worst? I’m not the one who’s changed!”

Maddie opened her mouth and then shut it again. “You know what?” she said. “I’m not going to argue with someone I don’t even know anymore.” She stalked off.

I stood there, my heart racing, my eyes burning and hot, for a long time after Maddie and Lewis had driven off. And then I walked away, making my way down to Banner Lake. So now I’m just sitting here looking at the black water while the wind makes the tips of my ears go numb.