Four Week Fiance 2(3)

“Why are we talking about this?” I asked her, annoyed. I didn’t want to think about any other women. Not now. Of course there had been other women. Inconsequential women that had meant nothing to me. Not like her. I growled out loud as that thought hit me. She didn’t mean anything to me. I mean, I liked her, cared for her, was attracted to her, liked to hear her laugh, loved to watch her smile, enjoyed smelling her scent, was addicted to the touch of her skin, soft and silky next to mine.

Yes, I felt more for her than I had the other nameless women I’d been with. But that feeling wasn’t love or anything that could give her what she craved. I just wasn’t that man. I was just bitter and jaded by life, love, and relationships, and as much as she meant to me, I just knew that ultimately I would disappoint her and it wouldn’t work out.

“I guess I’m really special, huh?” she said, her face a twisted mask of hurt and slight bitterness. “How many women have you had up on this roof before me?”

“Mila,” I said and grabbed her hands. “Please let’s not go there. We’re having fun here.”

“We are?” She grabbed her hands away from me and shook her head. I watched as she gathered up her clothes and pulled them on quickly. “Let’s just go. I want to go home.”

“Mila, I’m sorry.” I sighed, panic hitting me. What if we caught up with my dad and Barbie? “I mean, is there really any reason for me to tell you what I’ve done with other women in the past?”

“I was just curious.” She sighed too and looked away, her whole body suddenly seeming to fall as if she was accepting some sort of inevitable defeat.

“Nothing in my past matters,” I said honestly. “We shouldn’t dwell on it.”

“I’m not trying to dwell on anything. I just want to know. I just want to feel special,” she said softly, mumbling her words so that I could barely hear her. My ears strained as I tried to concentrate on her words and my heart felt a pang of guilt. I was being selfish with what I was doing. I had to let her down gently. She had to know that this wasn’t about her self-worth. I wanted more for her than this. More than me. Me and my fantasies and desires. She deserved better. Even though it killed me to think of her with someone else, smiling at someone else, touching someone else. No, I just couldn’t think of it. When our relationship was over, I’d have to banish her from my life.

“You are special, Mila. You’re the most special woman in the world.” I grabbed her arms and pulled her towards me, holding her so close to me that I could feel her heart beating next to mine.

All of a sudden the EE Cummings poem, “I Carry Your Heart with Me,” popped into my mind. I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart, I thought to myself as I closed my eyes and held her to me. I didn’t want to think about what that meant. It was most probably because we’d been friends for years. She’d almost been like my younger sister. Someone to protect from the harsh realities of the world and someone to tease mercilessly.

“Make love to me, TJ,” she whispered up at me urgently. “Make love to me so that we can fly.”

“You want to fly?” I asked her softly.

“If you’re the pilot, then yes.” She looked up at me with an impish smile that tugged on my heartstrings.

“I’ll be your pilot,” I growled and leaned down and kissed her hungrily. She kissed me back eagerly and laughed as I licked her lips. I laughed back at her and I could feel my mood relaxing as I realized our awkward moment was over. The tension was gone from the moment and I could feel the excitement burning through my body again.

“You’re so romantic, TJ, offering to fly me around the world,” she said, teasing me. “Where will you fly me to first? Australia, England, South Africa, or maybe some cute little island in the Maldives?”

“You’d like that too much.” I grinned down at her, feeling light-hearted. “I’ll take you somewhere over the rainbow.”

“Over the rainbow?”

“Yeah, somewhere no one else could ever take you.” I winked at her.

“In a helicopter or a plane?”

“The only aircraft you’ll be riding on is me.” My hands reached down and caressed her breasts. She murmured slightly as my fingers pinched her nipples and my body reacted instantly. “I want you, Mila,” I growled as my lips found her neck and bit down. “Oh, how I want you.”

“Then take me,” she breathed out, her eyelashes fluttering.

“Come,” I said, grabbing her hands and bringing her to the edge of the roof again. “Kneel down again,” I said and watched as she complied easily. I reached down and lifted her skirt up and touched her; she was already wet. Wet in anticipation for me. My body shuddered and I felt myself growing hard as I continued to touch her. “You want to feel me inside of you, don’t you?” I massaged her shivering bud and I felt like a king. I had done this to her. I had her looking at me like she would die if I stopped touching her.

“Yes,” she cried out as I pushed a finger inside of her. “Please, TJ, please.”

I pulled her back up then and pulled her into my arms, kissing her softly before pulling her chin up to look at me.

“Do everything I say,” I said steadily as she breathed heavily.

“Okay.” She nodded, gazing into my eyes.