Found in You(126)

Brian was still looking at me expectantly.

“Oh, it’s nothing now. I had a meeting and when it got canceled it stirred up a lot of crap between me and Hudson. Long story.” My eyes trailed down the list, spotting a number I knew by heart. It was all over the page. “That’s Hudson’s number.”

“She has quite a few calls to him.”

“I see that.” I swallowed. “I don’t know what to think about that.”

“None of them are very long. And she always called him.”

“Hmm.” That was comforting, wasn’t it? Except what did Celia Werner call Hudson about? Why so often? I didn’t like the unanswered questions.

I sat back and pulled my knee to my chest, resting my foot on the chair.

“So what now? Between you and Hudson Pierce?” Brian echoed my thoughts.

And wasn’t that the question—What now?

“I’m not sure.” I rubbed my cheek against the silk fabric draped over my knee. “I guess I’ll wait until he comes back and we’ll see how that goes. The time apart might be good for us. Give us some time to think.” Time to decide where I fit in Hudson’s life, where Celia fit in Hudson’s life. Where Hudson fit in my life.

“Good plan.” He paused. “You know, just because he doesn’t believe you doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. Trust me. I speak from experience.”

I met his eyes. “Yeah, I guess you do.” I’d always known Brian loved me, even when he was a total shithead. And I’d always understood his motives. Why was it so hard for me to grasp that about Hudson? Because he’d never said he loved me? Because the idea was too good to be true? I wasn’t sure. Yes, there were definitely things to think about.

Brian tossed the cell phone papers down. “Anyway, speaking of phones, do you want me to go with you to get a replacement today?”

This was the one thing I’d already thought about. “No. I’m afraid if I have it I’ll call Hudson.” The tug of fixation already threatened whenever I thought about my laptop sitting in my bag in the bedroom. How I could internet-stalk him. How I could try to figure out where he was, what he was doing. I’d been so strong. The last thing I wanted was Celia’s fake accusation to find truth.


I peered at Brian, seeing if he understood. “I need to be completely cut off from him to get my head around everything, you know?”

“Not really. But if you say so.”

“Yeah. I say so.”

***

Brian left Thursday morning and the days after that became a blur. Without him around to pull me out of myself and put time in context, I lost track of the minutes and the hours that Hudson had been gone. All I knew was that every passing second felt like a decade, every night alone in our bed felt like a century.

David, thinking I was only out of sorts because I was missing Hudson, suggested I take some time off, but the club gave me a sense of purpose. After meeting with Trent, I continued working nights instead of days. At least then I could stand behind the bar and go on autopilot. I worked myself long and hard and when I got back to the penthouse in the early hours of the morning, I hit the treadmill until I couldn’t stand anymore. That was the only way to fall asleep—to get myself so exhausted that I slipped easily into a coma.

Without my phone, Hudson tried to contact me in creative ways—at the club, leaving messages with the doorman, calling the penthouse phone, which I never answered. I stayed true to my self-proclaimed edict that time apart would be good for us. Except, as the days stretched by, I hadn’t managed to figure anything out. I’d hoped to gain clarity in his absence. Instead, I just felt lost.