Found in You(123)

“No. No one does. She’s a different drunk than Dad was, though.” Our dad had been a happy drunk. He’d talk too loud and laugh a lot. When we’d been little, we’d thought it was fun. It took growing older to realize what his antics did to our mother.

“How so?”

“She’s mean. Hateful. Vindictive. Bitter.” I paused. “Did I say mean?” I rubbed my hand over my eyes. “God, this baby thing is probably killing her.”

“Right? What a way to find out your husband cheated on you.”

“Not even because of that. Jack’s infidelity is old news. That he was with Celia is a surprise. I thought he had better taste than that.” Maybe that was why Hudson hated it when his father touched me. He was afraid Jack was after me, too. If Hudson had only told me the truth about Celia and his father, I could have tried harder to…

I let the thought die. It was no good thinking about the things Hudson hid from me. It only led back to the things I’d hidden from him. If we’d both been honest from the beginning, maybe we wouldn’t be in the mess we were in now.

“Anyway, I meant because Sophia was so set on that pregnancy being evidence of why Celia and Hudson should be together. Like, she brings it up all the time. Nearly ten years later, she’s still pining over this miscarriage. For this match that didn’t happen.”

Brian chewed on his lip, something he always did when he was concentrating. “You know what I think? I think she knew all the time that there’d been something between Celia and Jack. You know how you just know things like that sometimes. She probably thought if Celia was with Hudson, then maybe somehow that would punish Jack or maybe even help her win him back or something. It’s obvious she loves the guy.”

I leaned my head back against the wall. “That’s very insightful. You actually make me feel kind of sorry for the lady.” I scowled. “Stop it. I prefer hating her.”

Brian laughed and I felt lighter with the sound. It was good to hear him be something besides angry. He was like Sophia in so many ways. Hardened because of the things life had dealt him. He was the one I felt bad for. “I’m really sorry you got dragged into all of this.”

He nodded in acceptance of my apology. “I’m really sorry I haven’t been here for you.” He kept his eyes on his hands, his fingers playing with the drawstring to his PJs. “I guess I was wrong to cut you off like I did. It didn’t help you like I thought it would.”

“I hate to say this, but it was probably the best thing you could have ever done for me.” Funny thing about 20/20 hindsight. “Despite how it looks at the moment, I’ve been doing pretty well.”

“That’s exactly how it looks. Good job, good boyfriend…” He met my eyes. “I know you didn’t do those things that Celia says you did.”

My brows rose. “You do? How?”

Brian gave me a no-nonsense look. “First of all, calling and hanging up? That’s so not your style. You’re much more creative than that.”

I smiled genuinely at the strange compliment.

“Second, you’ve never messed with women. And, third, no matter what shit you’ve pulled, you’ve never denied it. That was one reliable thing about you—you were always willing to admit your mistakes. Plus, you look…good. You’ve never looked this good before. Not since they died, anyway.”


It was the look of feeling loved. That was the change in me. I wondered how long it would last. “Thank you, Brian. It means a lot to hear you say that.” More than he could possibly know.