Forever You're Mine (MINE #4)(33)

Then she went down on me in the kitchen before I f*cked her against the sink. This relationship stuff is pretty f*cking awesome.

“Think Winston will like it here?” I asked.

“I think he’ll love it. If he ever gets out.”

I reached for her hand, kissing her soft knuckles. “It’ll happen, babe. Maddie’s good at what she does. So is that other dude.”

“Barrett,” She corrected with a small laugh.

“Whatever his name is.”

She smiled weakly. “I sure hope so. I miss him so much.” I squeezed her hand, offering the only reassurance I could.

Then Cora scooted in closer, placing her free hand on the back of my neck where she began to gently massage the tension that had built up there. “Are you ok?”

I knew what she was asking. She wanted to know if I was ok from last night. I was surprised she was still here after that shit. I completely broke down when I realized what I’d done. There was no amount of comfort that could assuage the shame I felt from hurting her, even if it was unintentional.

With her hand still in mine, I guided her over my lap to straddle me. I loved having her this close, surrounding me with her warmth and comfort. I felt safe with her. I always have. I gripped her hips, digging down deep for the courage to tell her what happened. There was really no good place to start.

Maybe Holden was right. If I talk to someone, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so badly. But what if it made everything worse? The dreams, the memories, they were already so overwhelming. Then the incident last night.

Incident?

So that’s what you’re calling it? Stop being a * and man up! After what you did to her, she deserves to understand why your head is so f*cked up.

Forcing the words from my mouth, I gave her what I could. “I always knew I wanted to be a SEAL. My father was on the first SEAL team in the early sixties. A true pioneer of the program. When I was growing up, he shared stories no child my age should ever hear. But I was fascinated by him and these men. These men he called brothers. I wanted to be a part of that. A part of something important.”

“What does SEAL stand for anyway?”

“Sea, air and land.”

Cora nodded, her small smile encouraging me to continue. “That’s just how we get to work though. We’re the ones they send in first. The ones the enemy is afraid of. The hit they never see comin’.”

“You’ve killed people.” She whispered knowingly, but there was no judgment in her eyes, only understanding.

“Yeah, I’ve killed lots of people. I stopped counting after the first five. I know I saved more souls than I took. But the shit I’ve seen, Cora, I just wish there was a way to unsee it.”

She laid her head on my shoulder, wrapping her arms tight around my shoulders. My arms banded around her waist, my heart surging with heat. “You don’t have to talk about it, but I think you should. If not with me, with someone.”

“I know. I’ve talked to Holden some, not a lot, but enough. I’ll admit it helped, but I have a feelin’ shit might get worse before it gets better. So in the meantime, I won’t be staying the night and you won’t be staying with me.”

“But Cannon.”

“No. I won’t risk hurting you. Fuck, I already have and it’s played hell on my conscience. This is just until I have my head on straight, ok? Then, you’ll never get me out of your bed.”

She lifted her head from my shoulder, seeking my eyes. “So does that mean we can’t have sex either?”

“Not a chance in hell.”

Her mouth covered mine as I sipped comfort from her lips. “Good. ‘Cause I kinda like you f*ckin’ me.”

“Kinda?”

“Ok fine…I like it a lot.” Thrusting her hips, she pulled a groan from my chest.

“Fuck.”

Standing up, I spun around and planted her ass on the swing. Desire painted her cheeks as a giggle erupted from her mouth. “I especially love it when you go all caveman on me. It’s such a turn-on.”

“You love to taunt me don’t cha?”

“Is it gonna make you f*ck me harder?”

“Oh goddamn it woman, you don’t know when to quit do you?”

“With you Cannon, there are no limits.”

Pulling her shorts off, I tossed them behind me before doing the same with her panties. “Well, I plan on testing all of yours.”

Draping one leg over each shoulder, I buried my face in her welcoming heat, losing myself in her completely.





Is it a crime, to fight, for what is mine?

~Tupac Shakur





Living alone was definitely something I had to get used to. The first night had been fine. I was so exhausted I fell right to sleep. But the following night, I was scared shitless. Cannon had stayed with me until around midnight before slipping out of bed to go home. He made the mistake of waking me up to say goodbye and after he was gone, I laid in bed for hours, analyzing every little sound. The old house made all these weird noises. I was too scared to even get up to go to the bathroom. So Cannon had a security system installed and brought me a pistol. I’ve been target practicing out back, and with Cannon’s help, I’ve become a pretty damn good shot.

Things with us have been good. We spend time together as much as we can. It’s hard with the hours I keep at the bar, but we try to make time for each other even if it’s just a text or phone call. I finally got my car back up and running, thanks to Holden. I swear the man can fix just about anything.