Finding Isadora(94)

After a moment he said, “Oh, so you decided to call.”

More guilt. “I was hoping you’d call me. I wanted to give you some time.”

“So now you figure you’ve given me enough time—a whole day and a half—to get over being dumped by my fiancée?”

Okay, now I was moving past guilt to annoyance. “I didn’t call to fight. I told you I hoped we could be friends, and I’m hoping you feel the same way.”

“It’s too soon. I don’t know how I feel.”

Sensing he was about to hang up, I said quickly, “How did it go last night at the hockey game.”

He was silent for a few seconds. “It was okay.”

I’d hoped the subject of Eric would loosen him up. “Just okay?”

“Actually, it was good.” Another pause, then he went on. “That kid, he’s always trying to be so cool. But he lost the attitude when the Canucks made their first goal. After that, he was yelling and jumping up and down.”

“That’s great. Sounds like you’re making real progress with him.”

“Yeah, I hope so. Iz?”

“Yes?”

“Something weird happened.” His voice had softened now. “We were sitting there, Eric in the middle between Care and me.”

Care? That was how Caroline abbreviated her name?

“All of us drinking sodas,” he said. “Eating fries, shouting at the top of our lungs. And I had the oddest feeling. It made me think of … family. Like, being a family.”

Family? Jealousy surged, jealousy I had no right to feel. I forced it away and said carefully, “I guess that’s natural. Man, woman, kid, all enjoying something together.”

“Then something even odder happened. In the middle of that huge stadium, with hockey players flashing across the ice and the audience bellowing, I had this memory of when I was a kid. Of times with Mom and Gabe. He’d pull out his guitar—” He broke off. “Did I ever tell you Gabe played the guitar?”

“No, you didn’t.” I pictured that glowing golden instrument in his living room.

“He has a decent voice and so does Mom, and we’d sing together. Kids’ songs, folk songs, popular songs.”

“I grew up with folk songs and protest songs. I have some good memories.”

“Me too. We were a family,” Richard said slowly. “There were times we actually felt like a family.”

In a way it was like old times for Richard and me to be exchanging childhood reminiscences, but in the past we’d usually spoken critically. Maybe we were both growing up. Had we needed to break up to do it?

“He’s not a bad man,” I said tentatively. “Only human. There are things he doesn’t do well.”

“Or does differently. He sets his priorities differently. Causes come before family.” He paused, then said slowly, “And maybe, in the grand scheme, his priorities are right.” For once he didn’t sound bitter, just reflective.

“A person can care about family and about social causes,” I said. “Grace and Jimmy Lee do, and they balance them pretty well. Your father could take a lesson from them.”

“My father,” he said slowly. “It’s going to be really strange if it turns out he’s not.”

“The two of you will have to sort out what kind of relationship you want to have. But, please, Richard, give yourselves a chance to have a relationship. Don’t … bail out because he hurt you in the past.”

He was silent for a moment, then said abruptly, “He called me this morning.”

Oh, goddess. Had Gabriel told him about last night? My pulse pounded in my throat and I could barely breathe. “Oh?” was all I could choke out.

“Asked if I was free for dinner. I didn’t know what to say.”

“And?”

“I thought… Well, why not? Let’s see what’s on his mind. Like you said, maybe I need to give both of us a chance. I’ll try to keep an open mind.”

Open mind. How would he feel if Gabriel said … what? That he wanted to sleep with Richard’s ex-fiancée? No, Gabriel wouldn’t do that. At least not without discussing it with me first. That wasn’t why Gabriel had called his son.

Perhaps something good was coming out of this whole mess. The two of them were finding their way to each other. “That’s wonderful, Richard. You know, I’ve been thinking lately about how judgmental I’ve been about my own parents. I’ve focused on their flaws rather than their strengths. They’re actually really terrific people.” I laughed softly. “I’ve finally figured out that I respect and admire them.”

“Oh, Iz, you always did. It was so obvious.”

“It was?”

“Even through all the bitching.”

“Why didn’t I see it?”

“Maybe we expect more from our parents than from other people. We focus on the ways they don’t measure up to our ideals.”

“And we’re both just starting to recognize the ways in which they do measure up. Or the ways they’ve helped us form those ideals.”

“Form them?” He was quiet for a few seconds. “Maybe so. When Gabe was there for me, he was something special. Guess that’s what I wanted, full time.” He gave a wry little laugh. “Selfish kid, eh?”