Finding Carly (SEAL Team Hawaii #5)(23)

Jag couldn’t stop the smile from forming on his face.

Carly saw it and rolled her eyes. “Go on and say it.”

“Say what?”

“I told you so.”

“I’d never say that to you. I was pretty sure things would go well today, but there was always the chance you would decide this wasn’t what you wanted anymore. That there were too many bad memories. It’s obvious how much you’re respected and liked by everyone at Duke’s, that says a lot about not only the kind of waitress you are, but who you are as a person.”

“I’m still scared though,” Carly said earnestly.

“I’d be surprised if you weren’t,” Jag said.

“Alani said I could work the same shifts as Kenna for as long as I want to, which makes me feel better. I just hope Kenna won’t mind.”

“She won’t,” Jag said with confidence.

Carly looked down at her hands for a moment, then lifted her chin and met his gaze. “Do you think I’m being paranoid? Maybe Detective Lee is right and there isn’t anyone out there gunning for me. It’s been months. Even if there was someone working with Shawn, it’s possible that they have no interest in me now that he’s gone.”

Jag could hear the hope in her voice, and while he didn’t want to scare her any more than she already was, he couldn’t in good conscience agree with her. “I don’t think you’re being paranoid,” he said carefully. “I think you’re smart to be cautious. Until we figure out exactly what Shawn had planned, and who he’d planned it with, you do need to be careful. I don’t think he was so unhinged that he hallucinated an accomplice. And your ex was obviously the mastermind behind the insane plan, but I’m not willing to ignore the possibility, no matter how small, that his partner might want to carry through, even with Shawn gone.”

“Yeah. That’s what I thought.”

When she looked down at her hands once again, Jag put his finger under her chin and lifted her head. “But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t live your life. You just have to be a bit more cautious than you would otherwise.”

Carly stared at him with emotion swirling in her blue gaze. “Can I ask you something?”

“You can ask me anything,” Jag reassured her, dropping his hand.

“If you really think I could still be in danger, why aren’t you insisting I stay locked away until the person is caught? I mean, I can’t imagine Mustang letting Elodie keep going to work if she was in my shoes. And Aleck definitely wouldn’t be happy with Kenna if she insisted on waitressing while Shawn was still on the loose.”

Her question was a good one. Jag wasn’t sure she was really ready to hear his answer, but he didn’t want to lie to her. He never wanted to lie. “The short answer is because locking you away would kill you. Slowly but surely. You have to admit the last few months have been hell for you.”

Carly nodded in acknowledgement.

“As I’ve already said, you aren’t the kind of person who does well with solitary confinement. You need your friends. You need people. Is this ideal? No. I want this asshole caught as much as you do. But I can’t lock you away. It’s not what you need. And I’ll tell you this right now, angel, I’ll always do what I think is in your best interests, even if it kills me.”

She stared at him with wide eyes. “Jag,” she whispered.

He lifted a hand and palmed her cheek once more. God, he loved when she tilted her head and gave him some of her weight. “I don’t know what you think is going on between us but…as far as I’m concerned, we’re dating. We’ve had an unconventional relationship up till now, but I’m going with it. And you should know…I decided at Aleck’s wedding that I was done giving you space. If you hadn’t texted me when I got back from that mission, I wasn’t going to let you hide away anymore.”

“I thought you had a stubborn look in your eyes when I told you I wanted to go home after the ceremony,” Carly said.

Jag smiled. “Yeah. I was happy to see a flash of anger from you, actually,” he admitted.

“I am angry,” Carly told him. “Furious that Shawn has put me in this position. I know I’m young, but I truly thought he cared about me. In the end, all he wanted was to control me. And when he couldn’t, his crazy came out.”

“That’s exactly what happened,” Jag agreed. “But none of it was your fault, you know that, right?”

“I’m trying to believe that,” Carly said softly.

“You’re amazing,” Jag told her for what felt like the hundredth time. Maybe if he said it enough, she’d eventually believe him. “You’re a great friend, funny, a hard worker, and selfless. Any problem that asshat had with you was on him, not you. And you aren’t that young.”

Carly smiled and shook her head a little.

“You have a problem dating an old man like me?” Jag asked.

“You aren’t old,” Carly protested.

“I’ve got ten years on you…although some days I feel much older.”

“The truth is that I’ve always preferred older guys. I don’t know why. Maybe because they just seem more mature, more settled than men my age. I don’t know. But to answer your question, no, I don’t care that you’re thirty-five. Do you care that I’m only twenty-five?”