Finding Carly (SEAL Team Hawaii #5)(26)

The man was as complex as anyone she’d ever met. A badass Navy SEAL, yet someone who seemed a little unsure about a kiss. Pushy and stubborn when it came to getting her to do what he wanted, namely go and see Alani.

And that had worked out. Carly couldn’t believe how excited everyone had been to see her. And she’d actually seen tears in Alani’s eyes when Carly told her she wanted to come back. Her boss had bent over backward when she’d agreed, promising she could have any shift she wanted, including the same as Kenna.

Shawn’s actions had changed Carly, had made her wary and uncomfortable being back at Duke’s. Kenna had almost died because of her, and Carly had been scared that her coworkers would blame her. It had been her ex, after all, who’d gone all psycho. But she hadn’t seen censure in anyone’s eyes. They’d all been welcoming and excited to hear she was coming back to work.

Looking over at Jag, Carly had to admit he was right. She did need people. But how had he known that after such a short period of time? It was a testament to his observation skills.

She knew she was becoming attached to him. In the months since Shawn had taken Kenna hostage, when he couldn’t get his hands on Carly, Jag had always just…been there.

He’d messaged, emailed, called, stopped by. He’d been patient and understanding. He hadn’t pushed her to go to work or to call her friends. He’d listened to her when she’d needed to talk, kept her up to date on what everyone was doing, and generally had been supportive in any way she needed.

When he’d finally had enough of babying her, it was a good thing Carly was on the same page, tired of being the scared and pathetic person she’d become. She’d needed his encouragement. His decision to move her in with him had been the right call too. If he’d asked instead of insisted, she would’ve turned him down.

Basically, Jag had done everything right, and very quickly the attraction she felt toward him was morphing into something more.

“What’s that smile for?” Jag asked.

Because she was in a good mood for once, and fear wasn’t pressing down on her as much as it usually did when she was out and about, Carly shared what was on her mind. “I was just thinking about how bossy and highhanded you are.”

He looked surprised. “And that’s making you smile?” he asked in disbelief.

“Yup.”

“Most women would be pissed about something like that,” he observed.

“I’m not most women,” Carly told him.

“Damn straight,” Jag mumbled.

Which made Carly’s smile widen. Then she felt the need to say, “I should warn you, I’m usually not as amicable as I’ve been lately. I’ve let you talk me into a lot of things, but don’t get used to it.”

It was Jag’s turn to smile. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she said.

“Okay.”

“Okay? A lot of guys don’t like independent women who think for themselves.”

Jag didn’t answer right away. He pulled into the parking lot down the street from Food For All and turned off the engine, before turning to face her. “Some men do love having submissive women. But it’s exhausting having to work all day, then go home and make all the decisions about a relationship or a household. Especially in my line of work. SEALs need their women to be strong enough to not fall apart when they’re sent on a mission. Throw kids in the mix and it’s even more important.”

Carly couldn’t help but be relieved at his words. He went on.

“And you can’t use that asshole Shawn as a metric,” Jag went on. “Guys like him want all the control, they thrive on it. They don’t want a partner. Don’t want someone to share their lives with. They need to completely dominate someone to make themselves feel like they’re hot shit.”

“He wanted me to move in with him, but I kept putting him off,” Carly admitted. “He wasn’t happy. But I couldn’t do it. Luke was still living at home, and it felt weird to me. I knew his son hated me, and the more Shawn tried to convince me moving in was what good girlfriends did, the more I balked.”

Jag’s brow furrowed. “Is this about you staying at my place?” he asked, the worry evident in his tone. “Because I am nothing like that fucker. If you want to go back to your apartment, you can.”

“No!” Carly blurted. “That’s not what I meant at all…unless,” her voice got softer, “you want me to go?”

“Hell no, I don’t want you to leave,” Jag said. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “I’m screwing this up,” he muttered.

Carly couldn’t stop herself from reaching out. This man was such an enigma. “You aren’t. I shouldn’t have used that as an example,” she said, resting her hand on his forearm.

Jag’s eyes popped open and he looked at her. “I’m not good at relationships,” he admitted. “I’m good with being a friend. I’m a great teammate, both on and off the battlefield. But man-woman stuff is completely foreign to me. I…I haven’t had very good role models.”

Carly stared at him, sensing he was trying to tell her something, but not sure what it was.

“I’m trying to learn from Mustang and the others by watching the way they interact with their wives and girlfriends, but it’s a lot different than I expected. I said this earlier, and I’ll say it again—I’ll always have your best interests at heart. I might not explain myself very well, and I’ll probably say stupid shit. But you’re important to me, angel.”