Fighting Fate (Fighting #7)(102)

“Not many. Maybe five.” Fifteen. Eight texts, four phone calls, three emails.

“Five times and he hasn’t gotten back to you?” Killian spits the words through clenched teeth.

I hate it when he looks at me like I’m one of those puppies from that commercial about abused pets with the music that always makes me cry. “It’s okay, Kill. I’ve gone twenty years without him. What’s a few more?”

What’s a few more…?

Killian’s about to leave for five years, and I’m sitting here doing nothing to stop him. I preach that I want to have more control over my life, that I want to take my fate into my own hands, and here I’m reminiscing about my feelings for Killian while at the same time letting him go.

My spine stiffens. If I want to stop being treated like a damsel in distress, I need to stop lying around waiting to be saved.

I nearly trip, untangling my legs from the table and chair, and then race the few yards to the street. My arms flail to wave down a cab, and I jump in before he’s even to a complete stop.

“You in a hurry?”

“Yes! I need to get to the UFL Training Center as fast as you can drive.”

He pulls out into traffic and spots me from the rearview mirror. “That’ll cost extra.”

“Fine, I don’t care. Just please, I don’t have a lot of time.”

*





Killian





“Mr. Kyle, can you explain why the UFL is sending fighters from the US to train in the UK?”

Cameron sucks his front teeth then leans into the mic, glaring at the poor reporter who asked the question. “It’s not rocket science, Phil. As I said before, it’s like a foreign exchange student program. We send a guy over to train and set up a few fights; they send a guy our way.”

Poor Phil clears his throat, and if I had an ounce of humor in me, I’d laugh. “Um, I understand that, but I guess my question is why?”

“Because I can, Phil. Because it’s fun. Because why the f*ck not?” Cam purposefully directs his eyes to the opposite side of the room. “Next question.”

I peer down the table at my London camp then turn to see most of my Vegas camp looking on with anticipation. The great thing about today’s announcement is that, no matter what I decide, I know the guys and girl I fight with will approve. They’ve all expressed their support, and as difficult a decision as this was to make, their backing me up has made it a little easier.

I’ve had to accept the fact that I can’t love Axelle enough for the both of us. It’s possible that what she thought was love for me was only her appreciating me, that the years I spent holding her up and keeping her together made her feel like she should love me.

She doesn’t need me anymore.

The thought makes me as sad as it does proud. I’m happy for Axelle, for her new found independence, that she took her second chance at making a life for herself and fought for everything she wanted.

Even if in that everything there’s no me.

“Enough questions, you guys just keep asking the same ole shit.” Cam looks down the row of fighters. “Let’s get to the announcements.” He grumbles a quick introduction.

“Here we go,” Laise whispers at my side.

I lean forward and adjust my UFL hat before meeting eyes with the crowd of reporters and journalists. “I spent a year in London training with this crew of incredible fighters. I was offered a five-year fighting contract to stay in London, but in order to make that decision, I wanted to come home to Vegas and get some perspective, and what I learned was—”

The back door swings open so hard it bangs against the wall, calling the attention of everyone in the room. It’s too cramped and crowded for me to see who did it.

“What I learned was that after fighting for a year in London, I’m not ready—”

“Killian, no!”

My eyes dart to the cluster of reporters who’re being shoved aside to clear a path.

“Ax?”

She bursts through the crowd, breathing like she ran here, only to get stopped by a rope that holds the media a healthy distance back. “Don’t go, okay?” Her big blue eyes are glued to mine, as if we’re the only people in the room. “Please, just…don’t go.”

“Axelle, honey?” Layla’s standing off to the side, her eyes as wide as mine.

Ax doesn’t acknowledge her mom. “Killian, I thought by letting you go I was doing what was best for you, but I was thinking about everything we’ve been through, and I’m so sick of fighting this pull between us. I’m sick of trying to do the right thing when the right thing feels so wrong.”

“Ax, baby—”

“Because that’s what a life apart from you is, Kill. It’s wrong. We were on to something those few days before you left, and I thought sending you away was the right thing. I’ve spent the last five years searching for something, and all this time you’ve been right in front of me. You were my bright light, Kill. I didn’t realize how bright until you were gone and the darkness was so thick I thought I’d never be free of it. But I got out, I did it, and doing it on my own didn’t make me miss you any less.”

“What’re you saying?”

“It’s like that story you told me, the one about the woman who jumped from the Eiffel Tower?” She laughs as a single tear rolls down her cheek. “I’ve jumped. I’m free falling, and I’m so scared you’re not going to be there to catch me.”