Fighting Fate (Fighting #7)(100)
She locks her heels at the backs of my thighs as I ride out my release and nuzzle her neck to keep my own moans from carrying out of the room.
My head is light with euphoria that has more to do with the woman than it does the mind-blowing finish. “You’re perfect, everything…” Emotions pull me in every direction, and I drop my forehead to her neck. “I needed this.”
She sighs and releases her lock on my legs. “You needed…this.”
There’s a coolness in her voice that turns my blood to ice. I pull back and stare down at her, but she’s looking away.
My gut clenches and my chest aches. “What?”
She wiggles beneath me, and I push back to my knees so she can get up and off the table. “I made a mistake.”
“What?”
“I can’t do this.” She pulls her clothes off the floor and scurries behind a folding wall, hiding her naked body from me.
“Do what? Have sex?” My gut churns with anger. “Because it’s a little too late for that, sweetheart.”
Her breath hitches behind the thin paper divider, and I grit my teeth, wishing I could take it back. I scoop my shorts up off the floor and slide them on, searching for the right combination of words that will diffuse the explosion I feel coming.
She steps around the screen, fully dressed, smoothing her hair back into a ponytail. “That is exactly why…” She turns to face me and there’s fire in her glare. “You need to go.”
I stand firm and shake my head. “No way.”
Her jaw falls open, and she shoves her finger toward the door. “Go!”
“No.”
Her glare sharpens, and I could swear I hear a purr-like growl rumbling in her throat. “What are you doing?”
“I never should’ve listened to you when you told me to go.” I step into her space. “I’m not going to let you push me away again. Not now. Not ever.”
“You don’t get a say in what I do.”
“I do now.”
She stomps a foot, and if I weren’t so pissed, I’d laugh. “No, you don’t!”
“Have you not been listening? I am in love with you—”
“Don’t do that!” Her eyes glisten with tears.
I want to touch her, to pull her to me and hold her tight until she understands, but I can tell by her rigid stance that’s not what she wants. “Axelle Rose Daniels.” I take a step closer, pleading with her to hear me. “I love you.”
“Stop saying that.” She shrinks back and her lip trembles. “Stop saying you love me when you’re leaving for London next week.”
My pulse speeds, but my blood feels like mud in my veins. “How would you know that? No one’s supposed to know—”
“Cam said—”
“I’m not sure if I’m leaving.”
She blinks up at me. “So, you’re staying? In Vegas?”
“It depends.”
“On what?”
“I thought I’ve been making this clear. It depends on you. If you’ll give us a shot, I’m staying to take it. But if this is all we have left, me holding on while you’re kicking me off, Ax…” I shake my head, unable to complete the thought let alone say the words. “I’ll fight for us, but I’ll need you to fight too.”
“You love the damsel in distress. I’m not her anymore.”
“I love you.”
She huffs. “I’ll drive you crazy with all the reasons why we won’t work out. I’ll push and push, and one day I’ll push you past your limit. You’ll walk away from me, Killian. I know you will.”
I reach to pull her in my arms, to prove to her with my body what I’m trying to communicate with my words, but she shrugs me off and pushes past me.
“Axelle, I won’t.” I make the X across my heart. “I promise.”
She smiles sadly. “Promises don’t mean anything. They’re just words. You’ll walk away eventually. They all do.”
And with that last parting jab, she’s gone.
I guess that’s her answer.
Thirty-four
Axelle
“Are you sure you don’t want to be here?” My mom’s voice sounds in my ear, intensifying my guilt. “If you hurry, you’ll make it in time to catch the announcement.”
“I’m sure. I have a feeling after our talk yesterday he wants nothing to do with me, and I can’t be there when he announces he’s leaving.” It’ll destroy me.
Not that I’d blame him though.
I’d acted like an immature idiot yesterday after we had sex. I ended up stomping straight to my car and calling Vanessa, asking her to cancel my last two appointments, claiming I was sick.
Which was true.
I felt like crap after the way I’d treated Killian.
From the moment we met, he’s been my biggest defender, my protector, and after all he’s done for me, I put him in the same category as men like Stewart, Trip, and Clifford.
If he doesn’t hate me, he should.
I hate myself enough for the both of us.
I half expected him to call or text last night, but he never did. I finally ended up texting him at midnight, apologizing, begging his forgiveness, and asking him to give me another chance. My finger hovered over the Send button when I remembered something he’d said after we’d had sex, as he so callously put it.