Fauxmance (Showmance #2)(75)

This money, it felt more like a slap across the face. A bucket of ice cold water emptied over my head.

With a heavy heart, I left the envelope on the entry table, took my things and walked the short distance to the train station. I passed a group of women on their way home from the nightclubs.

“Hey, gorgeous! Wanna come with us?” one of them called.

I only shook my head. Not even the arms of another could soothe me now. I’d set Ellen free. Like one of her beloved birds, I’d trained her, and now she was ready for the wild. She didn’t know it yet, but it was for the best. She’d find someone and be happy. I’d only disappoint her in the end.

When I reached the station, I had two hours to kill before the next departure to London. I found an empty bench and sat down. Like I always did when I needed to hear a friendly voice, I pulled out my phone and called Rose.

When she answered, I realised I’d woken her up. She sounded drowsy. “Julian, is everything all right?”

“No, it isn’t.”

“Oh, honey, what happened?”

I proceeded to recount the weekend’s events. When I was done, Rose’s voice was full of empathy. “Don’t go back to London. Get on a plane. Come here,” she said, and for the first time in a long time, some island solitude sounded like exactly what I needed.

We said our goodbyes and I left the station, ordering a cab on my phone. I was going to visit my best friend in the whole world, enjoy some peaceful quiet, and get my head on straight.

“Where’s the nearest airport?” I asked the driver when my cab arrived.

“Exeter’s about forty minutes away.”

With an ache in my chest, I replied, “Perfect. Take me there.”





Chapter Twenty-Two





Ellen





I woke up early the next morning after a measly three hours of sleep. I felt like I’d been hit by a truck. My eye sockets hurt from so much crying, and my muscles panged with exhaustion. After I left the wedding, I wrote a cheque and left it on the porch for Julian to find, alongside his suitcase.

I’d been angry. Foolish and bull-headed.

I went downstairs. His suitcase was gone, but the envelope had been left behind.

The regret that filled me was monumental.

I’d been so upset that I’d acted impulsively and irrationally. Yes, I technically owed Julian that money, but it was the wrong way to go about it. It was cold and heartless, mean-spirited, but the way he ended our relationship had been cold and heartless, too. Sure, he’d seemed regretful, miserable even, but he still did it. He must’ve felt what was happening between us. It couldn’t have been all one-sided.

My stomach churned as I went into the living room and found my dad sitting on the couch. He looked tired, too, his hair ruffled, grey bags under his eyes. I felt terrible for ruining his wedding day. Well, maybe I didn’t exactly ruin it, but I definitely made it less than perfect.

“D-dad. What are you doing here? I thought you had a flight to catch.” He and Shayla were supposed to be spending two weeks in the Maldives for their honeymoon.

“It doesn’t leave for a few more hours,” he said and patted the space beside him. “Come here. We need to have a talk.”

Exhaling heavily, I went and sat next to him. I still wore my dress from yesterday, only now it was crumpled and stained with snot and tears. I may have used it to wipe my face during my middle of the night cry-athon.

“Dad, I’m so sorry I ran off yesterday. I just couldn’t face everyone after what Shayla said.”

He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me in tight. His warmth was a comfort I hadn’t known I needed.

“She shouldn’t have said what she did. I already had a word with her about it.”

I pulled back to look up at him in surprise. “You did?”

Dad let out a tired breath. “Shayla’s a good woman, Ellen. She’s good for me, and she is actually very fond of you, but believe it or not, tact is not her strong suit.”

She was fond of me? This was news.

“I was so embarrassed by what she said, Dad. You must think I’m pathetic.”

“Ellen, I would never think that. You’re my only daughter and I love you.”

I sniffed. “Yes, but…she made me sound like such a na?ve idiot. Like a silly little girl being conned out of her money, when that couldn’t be further from the truth. Julian and I started out as friends. Yes, he’s an escort, but that doesn’t…” I paused, took a deep breath. “That doesn’t really have anything to do with what was between us. He’s helped me more than you could ever know.”

It was the truth. Whatever Julian and I had, it was real. No part of it was contrived, and there was nothing anyone could say to change that.

Or maybe I was just fooling myself. Maybe every woman he was with felt this way after he left them.

Dad pushed a strand of hair away from my face, his voice gentle. “Do you think I can’t see that? I can see the change in you, Ellen. You’re more confident than you’ve ever been.”

Hearing him say that meant a lot. It meant that the way Julian made me feel wasn’t all in my head. He really had helped me, even if he’d abandoned me in the end.

I blew my nose with a piece of tissue. “Yes, well, what Shayla said made Julian sound seedy, but I was a living a shell of a life before he came along. I couldn’t talk to people. I could barely handle it when customers came into the bookshop to make a purchase. I’ve been this way my entire life. I thought I was condemned to always be like that until Julian showed me the strength hidden inside me.”