Fatal Reckoning (Fatal #14)(77)

“Wow, that’s amazing. You must be thrilled.”

Sam shrugged. How to describe how the elation of getting much-needed answers was muted by the pervasive grief of his death? “I am, but part of me feels like it doesn’t matter as much now that he’s gone.”

“It matters very much. The person who shot him robbed you and your sisters and your children and Celia of possible decades with him. And don’t look at me like that. I loved that man for most of my adult life, and even after everything that came between us, I never stopped loving him. The day of his shooting…” Brenda shook her head and looked down. “I’ll never forget that call from Tracy. My heart broke right along with all of yours.”

Her mother’s passionate words touched Sam deeply. In all the years she’d spent estranged from her mother, it hadn’t occurred to her that her mother might still love her father. “Could I ask you—”

“Anything you want.”

“If you loved him so much, why did you leave him for someone else?” It was a question that had tormented Sam for twenty years, and even though it wasn’t the question she’d come here to ask, there’d never been a better opportunity to put it out there.

Brenda sighed and sat back in her chair. “Marriage is a complicated thing, as you certainly know. After Steven Coyne was killed, nothing was ever the same between your dad and me. I felt like I lost him almost as completely as Alice lost Steven. I tried for a long time to make things right between us, but after a while, when I didn’t get anything back from him, I quit trying. By the time I met Bill, I didn’t feel married anymore. It was wrong. I knew it then, and I know it now, but my only defense is that I was lonely and vulnerable, and I liked the way he made me feel important again. None of this is intended to excuse my behavior. I should’ve asked your father for a divorce, and I’ll always regret how I handled that time in my life. I hurt you and your sisters and your father, the four people I loved the most. I’m very sorry for that. You have no idea how sorry I am.”

Sam appreciated the apology, as she had the first time her mother offered it.

“I hope you believe me when I tell you it’s my biggest regret, the one thing I’d do differently if I had to do it over.”

“I believe you. But we can’t go backward. Only forward, and I’m glad you’re back, that we can see each other again.”

“You have no idea how glad of that I am.” Brenda blinked back tears as she placed her hand over Sam’s. “No idea. I missed so much with you.”

Sam gave her mother’s hand a squeeze.

“Enough of that.” Brenda wiped her eyes and smiled. “You came here to talk about the case. What can I do to help? I’ll do anything I can.”

“Talk to me about Paul Conklin.”





      CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO


BRENDA’S BROWS FURROWED with surprise. “What about him?”

“Anything and everything. I’m looking for perspective from way back when.”

Brenda gave that some thought. “He and your dad met at the academy, came up through the ranks together. Paul had some problems with alcohol, and your dad brought him home to stay with us for a while after his first marriage ended.”

“Why don’t I remember that?”

“You were really young. He stayed in your room while you slept with Angela.”

Sam tried to remember but drew a blank. “Were you friends with him too?”

“I was friendly with him, but not friends the way I was with Joe, Jake and Steven.”

“Were they competitive with each other?”

“Somewhat. Your dad and Joe were the rock stars of the group. They all said that. Jake never wanted to be chief or move beyond captain. He’d say he didn’t want the headaches, but Joe and your dad… They wanted to go as far as they could on the job. Steven used to say he just wanted to go home to Alice every night. He didn’t think much beyond that.”

“What about Conklin?”

“I don’t recall him being part of those conversations, at least not while I was around. What has you asking about him?”

“I’m not supposed to talk about this, but we’ve learned that he knew more about Dad’s shooting than he let on.”

Brenda’s mouth fell open. “What did he know?”

“We interviewed a man who rendered aid to Dad, and that man has contacted Conklin on every anniversary of the shooting. I heard his name for the first time two days ago. Conklin swears he wasn’t on G Street that day, but we have a paramedic who can put him there.”

“But why? Why would he withhold that info? Your dad was his friend.”

“We don’t know, but we’re going to find out.”

Slumping in her chair, Brenda shook her head. “This is just so hard to believe.”

“For all of us.”

“Joe must be reeling.”

“He is.”

“You should talk to Alice. She and Steven were closer to Paul and his first wife than we were. She might have some insight.”

“I’ll do that.” Sam checked her watch. “I need to get going. Thank you for breakfast and the insight.”

“Anytime.”