Fall From Grace(8)

I wrapped one arm around her waist and helped her drunk-walk out of the bathroom.  “I think I can safely say that you have nothing to worry about there, because he’s definitely not my type.”

She leaned her head against mine as we exited the bathroom and she giggled.  “Gray, there’s no such thing as your type, that’s for fairytales.  You gotta just hook up with a bunch of wrong guys for a while and have fun.”

I missed her drunken soliloquies.  It hadn’t been the same being so far from her and listening to her being a mother hen to me over the phone.

Conner was obediently standing outside in the hallway and looked beyond relieved when we finally emerged from the bathroom.  He grabbed her and helped her walk over to the table where the rest of the people he was with were sitting.  The crowd in the bar seemed to have thinned out and the stage was empty.  I wondered how long we had been on that bathroom floor.

We sat around the table and Conner gave Lea a bottle of water that she sipped continuously.  Lea politely introduced me to Conner’s friend Tucker.

Conner worked in a large accounting firm; Tucker had just finished law school and he was working in his father’s firm.  The two of them and all the members of the band had known each other since high school.

To confuse me even more, Conner and Tucker were explaining to me that most of them were roommates and they all lived in the same apartment building.  It all sounded like a bad episode of Friends to me.

“Hey, how’d you like the brawl?” a voice called from behind us.

We all turned to see Shane, pulling a chair to the table between Lea and me, with a confused looking blonde who stood next to him.  The blonde looked around and seemed to wonder if she should sit or stand, then decided to sit on his lap and start nibbling on his ear.  He was still shirtless and the blonde had the biggest set of silicone breasts I had ever seen in real life.  They were so enormous, I wanted to see if they’d make a big pop if I poked them with a fork.

“Ugh, Shane, get a kennel for your lapdog. The sounds of her slopping your ear is making me wanna hurl again,” Lea muttered.

The blonde stopped and looked at Lea.  “Jealous much?”

I watched Lea’s knuckles turn white with the force of her grip on the table.  “Yeah, I’m always jealous of Shane’s conquests.  They are the equivalent of a blow up doll with the brains to match.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Blondie snapped.

“See, you just proved my point.”  Lea looked at me and smiled.  “Maybe if we use big words, it will leave?”

I shrugged and laughed.  “Lea, you know you should never have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.”

“Shut up, skanks!  You’re both just jealous.” Blondie yelped, puffing her giant silicone chest out at us.

“Slut,” Lea smiled.

I gave the blonde a serious face.  “Yeah, listen you should really stop now, because I’m betting on the smartest thing that ever could come out of your mouth is a penis.”

Lea lost it and the water she was drinking burst from her mouth and landed all over blonde Amazon breast girl.  She jumped off Shane’s lap and scrambled to her feet.  “Shane! Stick up for me!  She just got me all wet!” she whined and then she stomped her foot like a kid having a tantrum.

Lea and I bumped heads laughing.  I tried not to, but I looked at Shane and he was staring right at me.  I held his gaze.  His eyes were crystal clear blue and breathtaking.  I wasn’t used to seeing people with eyes so piercing.  Usually people mentioned it about my eyes, which were light gray, almost silver.