Erasing Faith(96)

I didn’t care.

When it came to loving Wes, pleasure and pain were always wrapped up in one. We hurt each other; we healed each other. Screamed and seduced, built and broke each other.

It wasn’t a normal kind of love.

It was unsafe. Undeniable. Unhealthy. Unforgettable.

It was a contradiction.

And it would take more words than there were stars in the galaxy to describe it.

Luckily, I didn’t need a definition. All I needed was this.

Faith and Wes.

Wes and Faith.

His arms around me, his mouth on mine.

His hips pinned me to the wall, as his fingers found the neckline of my t-shirt and tugged sharply. I heard a ripping sound and before I could even process it, my shirt had been torn clean down the middle and was fluttering to the ground in pieces. Flush against him in just my jeans and bra, I felt suddenly exposed — especially when he pulled his mouth from mine and stared into my eyes.

His right hand traced the ridges of my ribcage and I inhaled at the sensation of his fingertips on my skin. I flinched when he reached the patch of scarred flesh from my bullet wound — not in pain but in shock at the sheer intimacy of it. His fingers were unbearably gentle as they explored that most vulnerable part of me, that permanent insignia of our past.

His touch was an apology and an assurance.

“Never again,” he whispered fiercely, his lips against mine. “I will never put you in harm’s way again. That’s a promise. To my dying breath, I will protect you.”

“No one’s dying, Wes.” I brushed my lips against his. “But if you stop kissing me now, I might.”

His lips were curved in a smile when he kissed me again. I worked my hands beneath the hem of his t-shirt and started to lift it over his head. Our mouths broke apart as the fabric slid past, and I threw it to the floor next to mine. My eyes, half-lidded with desire, returned to his, then dropped to take in the sight of his bare chest.

I felt my lips part as the breath was stolen from my lungs.

A sound — part sob, part sigh — escaped my mouth as I lifted a trembling hand to touch the thin black rope around his neck. Until my fingers made contact, I’d nearly convinced myself I was seeing things. But as my fingers traced the woven strands, I knew the cord was real.

So was the thin, white loop of rope hanging from its center.

His wedding ring.

“You kept it,” I whispered through a tear-clogged voice. “All this time?”

He bent his head so he could see into my eyes as I skimmed one fingertip around the faded white cord. His tone was gruff, but his eyes were soft. “Of course I kept it. It’s the most precious thing I own.”

Tears began to leak from the corners of my eyes and he wiped them away with his thumbs.

“I love you,” I admitted, looking up at him with a watery gaze. “I always loved you — even when I hated you.”

A long, suspended second passed as we stared at each other.

We both moved at the same time, shifting forward and sealing our lips together. Sweetness and patience were forgotten as desire reared its head once more. Need, sudden and unstoppable, claimed us. Our careful words and caresses were abandoned as hands worked at buttons and zippers, stripping each other bare. Wes kicked the pants free from his legs and somehow managed to peel off my jeans and underwear without once setting me down.

He didn’t wait for permission — I didn’t want him to.

In one long stroke, he drove into me, slamming my entire body against the wall with the brutal force of it. I cried out as he filled me, my head falling back against the wall and my legs wrapping tighter around his waist when he began to move. My nails clawed savagely into his back as he thrust, each harder and faster than the last, and I felt myself starting to fly into pieces.

Our savage pace was unsustainable — too brutal to last for long — but it was impossible to go slow. We’d waited too long, suffered too much to get back to this place. Now that we were here, there was no way to savor it.

With each movement of our hands, of our bodies, of our lips, we goaded each other into a breakneck rhythm that made my heart beat so fast I thought it might simply give out. I could feel Wes’ pulse, pounding just as quick beneath his skin, and knew he was right there with me.

“Faith,” he growled, his head buried in my neck.

I didn’t respond — I couldn’t. I was too far gone to form thoughts, let alone words.

My mouth fused against his once more and together, we climbed higher and higher until we reached the limits of the sky itself. And there, at the edge of infinity, our pleasure peaked in one single, unified moment and we both gasped at the sheer power of it.

This, here — it was perfection.

***

Eventually, we drifted back down to earth together, wrapped so tightly in each other’s arms I wasn’t sure which limbs were his and which were mine. Skin slicked with a sheen of sweat, hair damp from exertion, I dropped my forehead against the hollow of his throat and listened to the beat of his heart as it slowly returned to normal. Neither of us moved or said anything — we just stood there, intertwined, and breathed each other in and out.

Utterly exhausted, my eyes drooped closed. I couldn’t help myself — a muffled laugh escaped my mouth and broke the quiet.

Wes raised his head. “Something funny, Red?” he asked, his voice a little rough around the edges.