End of Story(32)

Karen dealt three cards facedown on the table. She flipped the first one.

“Death!” I screeched. “Are you kidding me?”

She tapped the card with a purple painted nail. “In most cases, the Death card signifies change. It’s shown here in reverse, meaning you’ve been resisting this change. That there are possibly behaviors and beliefs you need to shed to become a better version of yourself. Only then will you have a chance at being in a healthier relationship with both yourself and others going forward. In other words, Susie, you’re holding on to things that don’t benefit you.”

“Oh,” I said, relaxing. “Okay.”

She flipped another card. “The Knight of Cups. Which means love may be coming your way. But you could have a tendency to be in love with love and have unrealistic expectations. If you wish to succeed, you’re going to need to listen to your heart, but keep the real world in sight.”

I just frowned.

Karen flipped the final card and gave it a tap. “This is the Fool.”

“Well, that’s harsh,” I mumbled.

“It’s reversed, meaning that your somewhat lighthearted nature may need to be balanced by more caution. A risky relationship could be in your immediate future. One that is possibly lacking in commitment. You’ll weather it best by seeking that balance and looking to the future.”

I sighed. “So basically you’re saying that change is coming. That I should act like a grown-up and do my best not to make bad choices. But to especially not make the same mistakes I made before. And after all that, at the end of the day, no one really has a clue exactly how things will work out anyway.”

Karen thought it over for a moment. “Basically.”

“Right.”

“Did you want more woo-woo thrown in?”

“I can see why you’re friends with Lillian.” I smiled. “What’s your take on destiny or fate?”

“I believe that great things lie ahead for all of us,” she said. “If we learn the lessons we need to and grow as we go through life.”

“I’m sensing a theme here.”

“Funny thing.” Karen gathered up the cards and stood. “You can pay my daughter on your way out.”

Cleo patted me on the shoulder. “Sugar and carbs?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Are you going to tell Lars about this?”

I sighed. “Good question.”



Eight


Lars: Feel like drinks tonight? Be good to catch up. Cleo and Tore will be there.
Me: Will Aaron be there?
Lars: No.
Me: Ok. Sounds great!
We were meeting at a pub in Ballard near Market Street that served mead and aquavit. Lars’s blond head towered above the crowd near the bar. An easy point of reference.

Any nerves I had about seeing him again were hidden beneath a black camisole, black pants, and strappy heels. A little dressy, but sometimes a girl needed armor. It had been over a week since my housewarming party, when Lars and I last spoke. It would be nice to see him. I missed his dry sense of humor and the sound of his voice. We could just be friends. The divorce certificate could be ignored. Why, I hadn’t put my hand in my purse to fondle the soft paper in at least a minute. Tonight would be great. I was in a good mood and the smile stayed on my face right up until I saw the woman hanging off his arm. Holy shit. He’d brought a date. And not just anyone.

“Jane,” I said. “Wow. This is a surprise.”

She immediately disentangled herself from Lars and gave me a hug. “Susie! Good to see you. How have you been?”

It was like being sucker punched. My heart hurt and I hated it.

I’d always gotten along with Lars’s ex-girlfriend. We’d gone on many a double date, back in the day. She was petite and perfect, which made me feel large and loud. But other people weren’t responsible for my insecurities. And seeing her again was great. So great.

Lars gave me a smile and a nod. “Hey.”

Cleo appeared and passed me one of her glasses of mead. “Our table’s ready. Come sit next to me, Susie.”

“Okay.”

“Can I sit on your other side?” asked Tore with a wink.

“Just this once,” Cleo teased. Then, with a meaningful look at me, she said, “We only just arrived.”

In other words, she hadn’t had a chance to warn me about Jane. I nodded and smiled and made myself a promise. This stupid infatuation or awareness or whatever you wanted to call it, would die tonight. I meant it this time. He was never going to give so I needed to stop wanting. Men and women could be friends without sex getting in the way. Just watch and see.

Our table was near the back, away from the hustle and bustle. We were settling in when Tore’s musician friend Austin joined us. At least I wouldn’t be the odd woman out among couples. He sat opposite me and gave me a very friendly smile. And wasn’t it nice that someone appreciated the time I’d taken perfecting my eyeliner and styling my hair?

“How have you been?” Lars asked me.

“Good. I’ve been busy. Skol.” I tapped my glass against his before taking a sip of mead. “How about you?”

“Same.”

“Great.”

“Everything’s okay with you?” he asked with a frown. It was just his way. In situations where other people would smile to encourage you, Lars would instead frown with concern. He wasn’t as grumpy as he seemed. But he did have a tendency to take things seriously.