Eleanor & Grey(32)

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“Don’t be. Now is enough.”

“You go home tomorrow?” I asked after Greyson yawned, which made me yawn, too.

“Yeah. Pretty early. Camila said she’ll take me to the airport,” he told me.

“Grey?”

“Yes, Ellie?”

“How long will I be sad?”

He shrugged his shoulders before he combed my hair behind my ears. “For as long as it takes. There’s no rush to be happy, that will come when it’s ready.” I yawned again, and he smiled. “Get some sleep, Ellie.”

“You’ll stay with me?” I asked.

He moved in closer and wrapped his arms around me. “I’m not going anywhere.”

I slept awful that night. My sleep had been bad since Mom passed away. I’d randomly wake up from panics, in sweats, after twisting and turning nonstop.

When I awakened, Greyson was there to soothe me. He held me tight as I cried against his T-shirt. He told me it was fine to break, because he was there to pick up every broken piece of me.

“Still here, Ellie,” he whispered as my head lay against his chest.

He was still there.





When morning came and it was time for our goodbyes, I wasn’t ready for him to go. Truth was, I’d never be ready to say goodbye to him.

He held me in his arms, and I held him back. “Thank you for coming.”

“Thank you for everything,” he replied before whispering against my ear. “You have her smile. Did you know that? You have your mom’s smile.”

That made me hold him even tighter.

“What now?” he asked.

“I don’t know.” I didn’t have a clue what happened next.

“We’ll keep in touch, yeah? With email? Or you can call me? Or anything…”

“Of course, but also, I want you to live up college.”

“And you live up your life down here, too.”

“We’ll check in,” I swore. “On the good days and the bad.”

“Always. Especially on the bad. When the hard things happen, we lean on each other. Okay?”

“Pinky promise?” I held out my hand.

He linked his pinky with mine. “Pinky promise.” He slipped his hands into his pockets and swayed. “I don’t know how to say goodbye to you, Ellie. I don’t know how to let you go.”

“No need to let go. I’m always here.”

He moved in closer and enveloped his arms around me. I fell into him the same way I always did—effortlessly. Our foreheads touched, and we took our breaths together. In that moment, our timing was right. He was there, and I was there, and we were one.

“I love you, Ellie,” he whispered as his lips hovered ever so close to mine. “I know it’s bad timing, and I know I probably shouldn’t say it, but I love you. I love everything about you, even the parts you think are too sad to be loved. I think those parts are the most beautiful. I think all the parts of you are perfect, and I just wanted you to know that you are the first person I’ve ever loved, and it’s easy to do it. It’s so easy to love you.”

Tears rolled down my cheeks and I smiled because I knew. “I love you, too, Greyson. Every single part of you.”

How could I not? He was him, and I was me, and we were us.

“Ellie?”

“Yes, Grey?”

“Would it make it harder to walk away if I kissed you?” he asked.

“Yes.” I moved in closer, so close that his lips were millimeters from mine, so close that his breaths out became my breaths in. We were so close that my mind had already decided it was going to be the best goodbye kiss of my life. “But do it anyway.”

And then he did.





19





Greyson





FROM: [email protected] TO: [email protected]

DATE: September 24, 8:54 PM

SUBJECT: College



Hey Ellie, Sorry it’s been a while. College is crazy, and there’s something going on every single day. Parties don’t only happen on the weekends. They’re on Tuesdays and Thursdays, too. Also on Mondays and Wednesdays. Every single day.

Classes are harder than high school. There are a lot of times I’m not even sure I can keep up with the work.

How are things going for you? And work? You started nannying for that new family, right?

You said you’re picking up a few night classes at a campus, right?

Did you hear about this new website called TheFacebook? It’s only for college students, but it’s kind of cool. It’s a new way to connect to people. You should get on it. I’ll make sure to be your first friendship over there.

I’m mostly on that now, instead of AOL instant messenger, but I still keep signing on to see if you’re around when I have free time. You never are. Night classes don’t help any. Let me know if you have any free time this week for a phone chat and maybe we can schedule it in?

-Grey





FROM: [email protected] TO: [email protected]

DATE: September 26, 7:21am SUBJECT: Re: College



Grey, No need for the apologies, really. I knew you’d be busy. Every time I get to hear from you is always good in my book.