Dream a Little Dream (Chicago Stars, #4)(219)

“Yes. Go on.”

She hesitated for a moment longer, but his implacable expression told her he wasn’t going to change his mind, and the cowardly part of her needed to get away, just for a few minutes, so she could put herself back together again. Finally, she gave a reluctant nod and slowly rose to her feet. “All right, then.”


Now that she’d agreed, she didn’t know where to go. She couldn’t bear the idea of being cooped up inside with nothing to do but pace from room to room. She turned toward the path into the woods instead, where she and Edward walked nearly every day, and prayed she was doing the right thing by leaving them alone.

Gabe watched Rachel until she disappeared into the trees, then he turned to the boy.

Edward regarded him warily.

Now that the time had come, Gabe couldn’t think of anything to say, but every spark of decency he possessed told him he couldn’t let this child be tortured by something that wasn’t his fault. He made his way to the back step and sat down so he didn’t tower over him.

Edward sniffed and rubbed his nose on the sleeve of his T-shirt.

Gabe hadn’t planned to ask Rachel to marry him, but now that he’d said the words, he knew it was what he needed to do. What they needed to do. But the boy was standing in the way.

“Chip . . .” He cleared his throat. “I know things haven’t been great between us, but you need to know that doesn’t have anything to do with you. It’s because of . . . because of things that happened to me a long time ago.”

Edward stared at him. “When your little boy died.”

He hadn’t expected this, and the most he could manage was a shaky nod.

There was a silence, and then the boy spoke. “What was his name?”

Gabe drew a long, unsteady breath. “Jamie.”

“Was he strong?”

“He was five, just like you, so he wasn’t as strong as a grown-up.”

“Was he stronger than me?”

“I don’t know. He was a little bit bigger, so he might have been, but that’s not important.”

“Did you like him?”

“I loved him very much.”

He took a cautious step forward. “Was you sad when Jamie died?”

His name! Gabe worked to find his voice. “Yes. I was very sad when Jamie died. I still am.”

“Did you get mad at him like you get mad at me?”

Not ever in the same way, he thought. “Sometimes. When he did things wrong.”

“Did he like you?”

Speech deserted him. He nodded.

Edward’s arm moved. He glanced around, then his arm fell back to his side. The rabbit.

“Was he scared of you?”

“No.” Gabe cleared his throat again. “No, he wasn’t scared of me like you are. He knew I’d never hurt him. I won’t hurt you, either.”

He could see the boy framing another question, but the ones he’d already asked were slicing him open. “Chip, I wish you hadn’t overheard us talking, but since you did, you know that I want to marry your mom. She doesn’t think it’s a good idea, and I don’t want you to give her a hard time about it. I’m going to try to change her mind, but she has to do what she thinks is right, and if she decides she won’t marry me, it’s not because of anything you’ve done. Do you understand what I’m trying to say? You haven’t done anything wrong.”

He should have saved his breath.

“She won’t marry you because of me.”

“Some of it has to do with you,” he said slowly, “but not because it’s your fault. Because of me. Your mother doesn’t like the way I got off to a bad start with you. Because I wasn’t nice. It’s kept you and me from getting along too well. That’s my fault, Chip, not yours. There’s nothing wrong with you.”

“I’m not strong like Jamie.” Keeping his distance, he picked at a small scab on the back of his hand. “I wish Jamie could come play with me.”

Out of nowhere, Gabe’s eyes brimmed with tears. “I’m sure he’d have liked to do that.”

“He could prob’ly beat me up.” He sat down on the ground as if his legs could no longer support him.

“Jamie didn’t fight too much. He liked to build things, just like you do.” For the first time, Gabe thought of the similarities between the two boys, instead of the differences. They liked books, puzzles, and drawing. Both of them could entertain themselves for long periods of time.

“My daddy died in a plane crash.”

“I know.”

“He’s in heaven right now taking care of Jamie.”

The idea of G. Dwayne Snopes watching out for Jamie was too much for Gabe, but he didn’t say anything.

“I wish my mommy would marry Pastor Ethan or Rosie’s dad.”

“Chip, I know you don’t understand this, but I’d take it as a personal favor if you’d stop trying to marry your mother off to my brothers.”

“My mommy won’t marry you because me and you don’t get along.”


Gabe couldn’t think of how to respond. He’d already told the boy it wasn’t his fault. What more could he say?

“I don’t want to go to Flor’da.” Edward lifted his head to look at Gabe, but didn’t quite meet his eyes. “If we got along, I bet she’d marry you, and we wouldn’t have to go away.”