Dream a Little Dream (Chicago Stars, #4)(216)

“Can’t think of a better place to do it than around people who want you to get well.”

“I am well! I mean it, Rachel. I don’t want to hear any more negative remarks about the drive-in. Everything went great last night. You should be celebrating.”

“Everything didn’t go great. I love that drive-in, but you don’t! And the day I’ll celebrate is the day you go back to work as a vet.”

“Why do you have to keep pushing me? Why can’t you just let things be?”

“Because the way things are is tearing you apart.”

“Yeah, well, that’s not your problem.”

“No, it’s not, is it?”

He realized that he’d hurt her, but a squeal of laughter interrupted them before he could make amends. He turned automatically, and what he saw made the hair on the back of his neck prickle. Ethan was coming around the side of the house with Edward perched on his shoulders, Kristy lagging behind.

The boy looked as if someone had handed him a rainbow. His eyes sparkled, and his bangs flopped as Ethan jogged forward. Being carried around like this was exactly what Edward had been dreaming about at the pig roast when he’d watched his friend riding his father’s shoulders, and Gabe wanted to feel good about what he saw, but instead, he was overwhelmed by a sense of utter wrongness.

He couldn’t understand his reaction. This child had received so few breaks in life, and now Gabe was begrudging him this small, simple pleasure. He felt petty and mean-spirited, but he couldn’t argue himself out of his feelings—he couldn’t relinquish the absolute certainty that Edward Stone did not belong on his brother’s shoulders.

Rachel had risen to her feet. But instead of enjoying her son’s happiness or moving forward to greet Kristy, she stood absolutely still, her arms at her sides, as she watched Gabe.

He felt a chill as he realized she knew exactly what he was thinking. Somehow she could see into his head, and she knew how resentful he was. He wanted to explain, but how could he explain what he didn’t understand himself? How could he justify the feelings he had toward this child she loved more than her own life?


He looked away, turning toward his brother instead. Unlike Rachel, he could trust Ethan not to judge him. “Thanks for dropping me off, Eth.”

“No problem.”

“Excuse me, will you? I have to get some bookkeeping done.” He turned away, and, as he headed into the cottage, he tried not to look as if he were fleeing.

Rachel winced at the sound of the screen door banging. At the same time, she felt dizzy from the pain of what she’d seen in his eyes. Why couldn’t he stop hating Edward? The resentment he hadn’t been able to hide felt like a blow to her heart. She reeled from it as the frail hopes she’d been nurturing disintegrated around her.

Gabe’s demons weren’t going to let him go, she realized. And the love she craved for herself and her son would never materialize.

These past few years, she’d prided herself on being realistic, but she’d been hiding from the truth for weeks. His feelings weren’t going to change, and every moment she stayed with him would only make their inevitable parting that much worse. There was no rosy future in sight for her. No passport to fortune hidden away in Dwayne’s Bible. No eternal love. And no one but herself to care about Edward.

Her time in Salvation had finally run out.



They had a larger crowd at the drive-in on Saturday night, but Gabe seemed even more withdrawn and unhappy. Afterward, when he came to her bed, they didn’t speak, and their passion seemed tainted.

On Sunday afternoon she watched through the bedroom window as he moved Tweety Bird into the aviary he’d built. This was what he needed to be doing, but if he ever figured that out, she wouldn’t be around to see it.

The expression of bitter resentment she’d seen on Gabe’s face yesterday when he’d gazed at Edward had finally forced her to take action. She’d called Kristy that morning and set her plan in motion. Now every moment had grown more precious. If only she could hate him for failing her, maybe it wouldn’t be so painful, but how could she hate a man whose greatest fault lay in his ability to love so absolutely?

She ran her thumbs over the bumpy cover of Dwayne’s Bible. She’d read every marginal note and studied each underlined passage, but all she’d found was the age-old comfort of verses she thought she’d stopped believing in.

Resting the side of her head on the window frame, she gazed outside at the man with whom she’d so unwisely fallen in love. Now, while Edward was occupied on the front porch, she had to tell Gabe she was leaving.

The rickety back steps creaked beneath her feet as she stepped down into the yard. She watched Gabe make an adjustment to the aviary door latch with a pair of pliers while Tweety Bird’s shrill cheeps kept him company. He looked up and smiled as he caught sight of her, sending her heart into a crazy little dance.

She drew a deep breath. “Gabe, I’m leaving.”

“All right.” He finished tinkering with the latch. “Give me a few minutes to put away my tools, and I’ll come with you.”

“No, that’s not what I mean.” Don’t do it! her heart cried. Don’t say the words! But her brain was wiser. “I—I’m leaving Salvation.”

He grew absolutely still. In the magnolia behind him, a squirrel chattered away, while a crow cawed from its perch on the peak of the old tin roof. “What are you talking about?” He slowly rose, the pliers dangling forgotten in his hand.