Don't Let Go(63)

“I’m not trying to hang out with anyone, Nana Mae,” I said. “I work next door, I live two blocks away, we do business in all the same places. What am I supposed to do—leave town?”
“No, sweet pea, but he doesn’t need to be coming over to your house, either,” she said. “You do have a door.”
I blew out a breath. “I walked the long way today so I wouldn’t pass the house.” I sounded like a defensive teenager, but that’s where I felt she was putting me.
“Good girl,” she said. “So, back to the pictures. You—and Noah—went to your house, found her stash, and had sex.”
My eyes flew open wide. “No!”
“Really?”
“Really.” But I had to look away. Down at the pictures. Something to keep her from seeing everything else.
“Jesus, girl, don’t you learn?” she muttered, putting her glasses back on and peering down at the photos again.
She wasn’t fooled, and I felt the hopelessness of the night before pulling at me again.
“I told him good-bye again,” I said, my voice sounding as empty as I felt. “He has a second chance at getting a family.”
“Well, it is all about him,” she said under her breath before glancing up at me over the rims. “Oh, crap, I know that weepy look.”
I jerked my chin up. “You do not!”
“The hell I don’t,” she said. “I may be old but I still have my memory and this”—she wagged a finger up and down at me—“is you, twenty years ago over the same guy.”
I stood up and reached for my pictures, Maddy raising her head to hiss at me over the quick movement.
“Oh, get over it,” I hissed back.
“Where are you going?” Nana Mae asked.
“Home,” I said. “I came to show you your great-grandson. Not get put on trial.”
“Sit back down,” she said putting a hand on my arm. “I’m sorry, Julianna.” When I didn’t move, she pointed at the chair. “Sit?”
With a sigh, I sat and covered my face with my hands.
“I didn’t sleep with him.”
“But?” she asked.
“I was about to.” I brought my hands down. “I’m pathetic.”
“No, sweet pea, you’re in love,” she said. “God help you. And that’s something you haven’t seen in a really long time.”
“I can’t, Nana Mae,” I said. “I can’t do this. He’s taken. And I actually like the woman. She’s so damn nice it irritates the crap out of me.”
“Then steer clear,” she said. “Because she’ll pick up on the sparks, believe me.”
“Hayden tried to fight him the other night,” I said, scooping my hair back. “Think he picked up on a few too.”
“Oh, Lord, I would’ve paid to see that.” She sat back again, taking a photo with her and sighing deeply. “Oh, Mary, what the hell did you do?” she said, more to herself than to me.
I was quiet, letting her go where she wanted with her thoughts. I knew how it felt to want to shake your daughter senseless. Feeling that after their death must be heart wrenching. Parents should never outlive their children.
“She didn’t tell you either,” I said, finally.
Nana Mae shook her head and dabbed at her eyes. “I’m sure she knew I’d disapprove. That I’d tell you.” She put the picture down, her face twitching with sadness and anger. “Some things about your mother I swear I never came to understand and probably never will.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Me too, sweet pea.”



Chapter 16

I sat in my car on the other side of the building, hiding again like a big fat coward. I’d made it through an entire day post-almost-sex-with-Noah, but that wasn’t saying much considering I’d never left my house or my make-out clothes.
It was Monday. A new day, a new week. Showering today had stripped my armor and my courage, and so while I’d come in early to hopefully avoid him, and checked out the front to make sure his truck wasn’t there yet, I still felt the need to sit there and recharge.
“Grow up, Julianna,” I said, blowing out a breath.
I got out and smoothed down the dark green sweater dress I’d worn—just in case paths might cross after all. Because in all my determination to avoid him, I was supremely twisted in my need to look hot. For my ex-boyfriend that I’d turned away while still needing him to see what he was missing.
Women are messed up.
And as I rounded the corner of the sidewalk I nearly sucked my tongue down my throat as Noah and Shayna got out of his truck, parked right in front of my damn door.
“Shit—son of a bitch,” I muttered, fighting the urge to turn around and run back to my car. But we were only twenty feet apart, and the heeled boots I’d just had to wear gave me away.
They both turned. Shayna with a smile and concern and already moving in my direction. Noah, looking like he’d just been hit with a stun gun. He stopped where he stood, his eyes glazing over. That was his way, and how it would be for us going forward. Protection by way of shutting down. Boy, the next twenty years were going to be a real riot.
Damn it, if I’d just not been such a wuss and gotten out of the freaking car when I got there.
Look away. Look away. Don’t make eye contact.
“Hey,” Shayna said, reaching me as I got to my door. She grabbed my hand in her gloved one. “I heard about everything, Jules, I’m so sorry.”