Defenseless (Salvation, #5)(40)

“Then let me participate.”

Mark leans on his haunches. He removes his shirt, exposing every perfect inch of his chest. I allow my fingertips to touch him, to remind myself that he’s real. We’re real. His arms cage me in even as he keeps his weight off me. “By all means, participate.”

I push him onto his side and straddle him. The penetrating way he gazes at me makes my stomach clench. His eyes burn with heat, his lips part, and his breath comes in shorter bursts. “How bad do you want me?” I ask. This could be fun. “Do you want to touch me?”

“Are you sure you want to play this game?”

I lean down and allow my nipples to brush against his chest. “I think we’re done playing, don’t you?” I lick the shell of his ear. “Besides, we know I always win.”

Mark lets out a throaty chuckle. “Beautiful . . .” He grips my hair and pulls my head back. “You were never playing in the same league.” He flips me back so fast my head spins. “Now it’s time you get in some practice.”

“Is that so?” I love that we can argue during sex. He pushes me as much I push him. “Then, by all means . . .” I get comfortable.

“First, you have to warm up.” He smirks as he unbuttons my shorts. “I wouldn’t want you to get injured.”

“Of course not.”

His eyes remain trained on mine as he pulls them off. I lie at his mercy, unafraid of giving him a little control.

“I need to look you over, get the lay of the land so to speak.” His brow rises.

I giggle. I actually giggle. I wasn’t even sure I knew how to giggle.

Mark seems to take notice. “Cute.”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

His eyes turn intense as the green deepens. “Where would you like me to kiss you?”

I lean onto my elbows as a challenge. “I think you should start at my breasts.”

“You have perfect tits,” he acknowledges before his mouth is otherwise occupied.

My head falls back as Mark licks around my nipple. He takes it between his teeth and pulls back. The jolt shoots straight to my core. “Fuck!” I surrender to the pleasure. I’m unable to keep quiet.

Mark’s mouth stops and his eyes lock on mine. “What now? Tell me what you want me to do to you.”

That he’s giving me any control this time says it all. We’re equals. There’s no surrendering, just giving. “Touch me.”

“Where, Charlie?”

“My clit.”

He slides my shorts and underwear off without pause. Everything about him right now is downright sexy. The way he moves, the things he says, the way his eyes darken when he looks at me. The funny thing about becoming invisible is that sometimes I worry I’ll disappear. That no one will even notice I’m gone. I go through periods of time when only two people would actually know. When I’m with Mark, I’m not in the shadows. It’s as though he sees nothing but me. He brings me into the sun to stand beside him.

With care, Mark pulls my legs apart. He hoists each one over his shoulders. “Mark,” I say.

His lips turn up. “You didn’t tell me how to touch you, so I’m using my judgment.”

Before I can reply his tongue gives a long hard swipe. “Oh, God.”

He repeats it again, and my eyes roll back. His hands under my ass lift me closer as he delves in repeatedly. I burn. A sheen of sweat forms across my body as I pulse and tense. He circles my clit over and over, applying pressure before he lightens it when I get close.

Mark inserts a finger as he sucks and then gently bites on the bundle of nerves. I want to cry, scream, explode, but he keeps me hovering over the breaking point.

“Please,” I beg. I need release.

His finger curls as he sucks harder, and I detonate. Every part of my body goes tense before it finally relaxes. I call out his name as he continues to pump his finger and gently lick me.

“You,” I pant. “Are f*cking amazing.”

He leans up and takes my face in his hands. “You . . .” He pauses. “Own me.”

Neither of us says a word. I’m not sure if he meant to admit that to me, but the truth is that he owns me as well. I’m not ready to say it, though. I’m not even ready to think about it. It’s all too much and way too fast.

He leans over to grab a condom and returns to his position.

Before he can go forward, I have to warn him. “We can’t go too far. This can’t get serious.”

“We’ve already passed that point, babe. You just weren’t paying attention.” He slides inside with no warning.

I groan, and my eyes close as he fills me. It’s sweet and tender, so not like our last time.

He doesn’t move, but I feel his gaze on me. “Open your eyes,” he commands. “Look at me.”

My eyes flutter open as he watches me from above. “I can’t fall for you.”

His hips rock, my breath hitches, and Mark’s lids never blink as he takes me. “Too bad.”

“You can’t fall for me,” I plead as pleasure courses through my body.

The fact is that I’m a liar. I may want him. I may want to try some kind of normal, but I’m not sure I’m capable. My entire life has been set into motion since I was a child. I was groomed to be a spy, to live this life, but now everything is changing. I’m battling things I never knew I wanted. I want to be honest, I want to love, and I want to want for more.