Crazy Stupid Love (Crazy Love #1)(57)

“Trust me on this one, Kimber,” he warns. “He’s in a rough way right now, and there’s no reasoning with him when he gets like this.”

“I appreciate the heads up; now move out of my way, Paxton.” I stand my ground, prepared to stand here all day if that’s what it takes to see Decklan.

“Okay.” He steps back, holding his hands up. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He grabs his jacket from the hook next to the door and steps out of the apartment as I step inside. “Good luck. Who knows, maybe you can talk some sense into him,” he says, disappearing down the stairs.

Confused by his cryptic warnings, I slowly close the door and turn to scan the apartment. I jump slightly when a loud bang sounds from the bathroom and the door flies open, a shirtless Decklan stumbling out, a nearly empty bottle of whiskey clutched in his fingers.

“Decklan?” His name falls from my lips as I take in his state.

The moment his eyes hit mine it’s clear to see what Paxton was talking about. His natural messy hair is an unruly mess of tangles, his facial hair is bushier than normal, and his incredible gray eyes have lost a bit of their luster, dark circles now lining them. He’s dressed only in a pair of jeans hanging loosely on his hips, his incredible toned body otherwise on full display.

“What the f*ck?” he slurs, clearly drunk, his staggered movements giving that away before he even opened his mouth. “What are you doing here?” He stumbles towards the couch, collapsing onto it the moment he reaches it.

“You haven’t returned any of my calls; I didn’t really have any other choice,” I say, not moving from my place just feet from the door.

“Perhaps that should have given you the hint.” He lifts the bottle to his lips and takes a long gulp.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” I ask, crossing the space towards him, gesturing to the drink in his hand.

“I’ll decide when I’ve had enough,” he snaps, his tone harsher than I’ve ever heard before. “I still don’t even know why the f*ck you’re here.”

“Because I wanted to see you.” I hesitantly take a seat on the ottoman just a few feet from him. “I needed to apologize.”

“I don’t want to hear it.” He avoids my gaze, dropping his head onto the back of the couch as he stares up at the ceiling.

“Well you’re going to hear it whether you like it or not,” I bite, my frustration mounting.

“Had you let me explain the other night, you would have known that Garrett pushed himself on me. I didn’t even kiss him back. Hell, I was trying to get him off of me. The only reason I was even with Garrett was because I was so desperate to get away from my father. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you he was in town, too. I see now how that looks, but you have to believe that I feel nothing for him. He’s out of my life, for good this time.”

“I don’t care.” He meets my gaze, his eyes dark.

“Really? You don’t care? Is that why you’re sitting here drowning yourself in a bottle of whiskey?” I lean forward, able to snag the bottle from his hand before he even has a chance to react.

“What the f*ck, Kimber,” he growls, struggling to get off the couch in time to stop me from dumping the remainder of the bottle into the sink.

He reaches me just as I slam the now empty container onto the counter.“You realize I live above a bar right?” He grabs the bottle. “I’ll just f*cking get more.”

He swings the bottle loosely between his fingers before throwing it forcefully across the room. It hits the far wall on a loud crash, the glass shattering against the exposed brick before scattering across the floor.

“Are you kidding me right now?” I gape at him.

“Do I f*cking look like I’m kidding?” he challenges.

“Why are you doing this?” I drop my tone, tears welling behind my eyes.

“Because this is who I am.” His words are a warning. “This is the real me. You like what you see? Is this what you want?” He steps up directly in front of me, his whiskey breath hot on my face.

“I want you, but not like this.” I meet his gaze, my hands coming to rest on his bare chest.

“Well too bad,” he growls.

“Is this really all about Garrett?” I call after him as he spins away from me.

“This has nothing to f*cking do with your stupid f*cking * ass ex-boyfriend.”

“Then why are treating me like this?” I ask, hating how weak my voice sounds.

He stops in the middle of the living room and turns back towards me, his expression pained.

“Because I can’t do this anymore.”

“Why?” I plead for him to give me some sort of explanation.

“Don’t you f*cking get it?” His voice rips through the space of the room. “Seeing you with that * showed me that you have the power to hurt me.”

“I’m sorry, that was never my intention,” I start.

“It f*cking hurt me because I’m in love with you.” His words break in the middle as he lets out a defeated exhale.

“What?” I can feel the heat rush to my cheeks.

“I love you, Kimber, and I can’t f*cking love you.” His words feel more like an apology than a confession.