Complete Me(138)

“But, Nik,” Jamie continues, “now it’s time to let yourself heal.”

“I just need time,” I manage to say. “Time heals, right?”

“I don’t know,” she whispers. “I thought so, but now I just don’t know.”

I don’t know how many days have passed when Ollie shows up in my bedroom, his expression grim. “Come on,” he says, taking my arm and tugging me to my feet.

“What the—”

“We’re taking a walk.”

“No.” I jerk my arm back.

“Goddammit, yes.” He grabs a baseball cap from the shelf in my closet, crams it onto my head, then tugs me toward the door. “Corner store. Ice cream. And I’ll f*cking carry you there if I have to.”

I’m standing now, and I nod. I don’t want to go out into the world, but I also don’t want to fight. And maybe it will help, though I don’t really believe it.

“You f*cked up, Nikki,” he says once we’re on the sidewalk.

I don’t look at him. I don’t want to hear this. I know I did the right thing; that knowledge is as true to me as the sun that now beats down upon us. That truth is the only thing that’s helped me survive.

“I’ve seen him, you know.”

That gets my attention.

“I went with Maynard to the apartment yesterday. He’s missed too many appointments, and there was stuff that had to be handled. Signed. Life and business moving on. But, Nikki, Damien’s not moving on. He’s wrecked. Shit, I think he’s worse than you.”

I keep my head down and keep walking, but every step hurts me. Every second that I am hurting Damien hurts me. “I don’t want to hear this,” I whisper.

“Just talk to him. Go see him. Jesus, Nikki, fight for it.”

That makes me stop. Makes me turn to him. Makes the anger rise enough that it pushes back the pain. “Goddammit, Ollie, don’t you get it? I am fighting. I’m fighting every day not to run back to him. I’m fighting because I love him. And because I do, I can’t see him ripped to shreds. You saw how he was in Germany, and that was just a few people who saw those pictures. If those photos get out in the world, it will completely destroy him.”