Coming Home(190)

Alexis smiled as she reached across the table and squeezed Leah’s hand, and Leah took a breath before she continued.

“I’m always scared, I guess. I’m afraid that I’ll lose him again. That he’ll have a bad day, or a bad week, and decide we’re better off apart. Every visit, every time he calls, every letter—I’m always so excited, but at the same time, a little part of me is terrified of what he might say,” she said, wiping under her eyes with her thumbs. “It just sucks being afraid all the time,” she added before she lifted her glass and finished the wine.

Alexis lifted her hand and gestured for the waiter to bring her another.

“You’re turning into quite the enabler,” Leah said, and Alexis laughed softly.

“But…you don’t feel like he’s pulling away again, do you?”

Leah shook her head. “No. We’ve been doing really well. We’ve got our routine now. And he’s getting really good about talking through his bad days instead of shutting down. It’s just that…until he’s home, a little part of me will always be waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

Alexis nodded. “That’s understandable. But you’re almost halfway there now, right?”

“Well, we’re hoping he’s going to be eligible for good time served. If he is, that means we’ve already passed the halfway mark.”

“Wait, what do you mean? What’s good time served?”

“Basically it’s a sentence reduction for good behavior. He has to serve a minimum of eighty percent of his sentence, but if he reaches that without incident, they can decide to let him out.”

“So then he’d be getting out in…” Alexis pursed her lips, trying to do the math.

“Seven more months.”

“Oh my God, Leah, that’s great!”

Leah nodded. “I’m trying not to get my hopes up. We’ll see.”

Alexis smiled up at the waiter as he brought Leah’s third glass of wine to the table. “So you get to see him every other Saturday?”

“Usually. I switch off with Catherine and Jake, but sometimes I have to go every third Saturday if his mother and sister want to rotate in.”

“Okay, because I’ve been meaning to ask you, I have a few things for him. Some books and magazines. Can I give those to you to bring, or should I send them?”

“Send them,” she said. “They have to pass inspection before he can have them. I’m not allowed to bring anything into the facility when I go.”

“Inspection?” Alexis asked, taking a bite of her pasta. “What, like someone could hide a shiv in a magazine?”

Leah laughed. “No, it’s more for content. They can’t have anything R-rated or pornographic.”

“Oh,” Alexis said with a nod of her head. “Bummer.” Leah smirked as she added, “No porn, though. It’s some stuff your brother picked out. A bunch of automotive magazines. I have no idea if they’re the ones he reads or not.”

“If it’s car stuff, he’ll love it,” Leah said. “Honestly, he’ll pretty much read anything now. My dad sent him some book on US history a few weeks ago and he read it cover to cover. I keep telling him it’s a pity he had to be incarcerated in order to become a good English student.”

Alexis laughed loudly, cupping her hand over her mouth when the people at the next table looked in her direction, and Leah laughed too, feeling momentarily carefree.

“Thank you,” Leah said suddenly, and Alexis’s expression softened as she looked across the table at her.