Carnage: Book #1 The Story Of Us (Volume 1)(172)

“Do you have any idea how much of a cunt you made me feel earlier, in front of him, Cameron f*cking King, your big time gangster ex-boyfriend?” I shake my head.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve told you, I didn’t realise it was so important to you.”

“Don’t lie G, this is me you’re talking to, you knew exactly how important that little piece of information would be to me, that’s why you didn’t say anything, that’s why you kept quiet.” I can’t meet his gaze, he’s right, I knew Sean wouldn’t want to live here knowing it was Cam’s, I never for a minute thought that he would.

“But what I don’t get Georgia, what I don’t understand is, if you knew it was his house, if you knew, then why the f*ck would you still want to live here? Why would you want to move into your ex-lovers home?” He takes a swig from the bottle and sneers at me. “Hmm, tell me G, did you want to feel close to him, is he even your ex or have you still been seeing him all these years, sneaking around behind my back?”

“Fuck you, now you’re just being ridiculous.”

“Am I, then explain to me, f*cking explain to me G, why the f*ck would you want to live here?” he shouts and throws the bottle of drink at the wall, it smashes and glass flies everywhere, I shake my head at him and turn and leave. “That’s it, f*ck off G, walk away and go and rock in a corner somewhere, shut it all out and make pretend it’s not happening. Ain’t that what you do best? Shall I ring Mummy and Daddy to come and pick their little princess up coz the big bad rock star is swearing and smashing the place up?”

I keep walking, I feel exhausted, worn down by the weight of the guilt that I carry for doing what I did last year. Seeing Cam today, the panic I felt when he revealed he was the previous owner of our home, just went to prove to me, how much I love Sean, why I did what I did last year, I will never understand and the thought that Sean is hurting because of me cuts me in half. I felt nothing today when I saw Cam with another woman, whatever confusion about the feelings I thought I had for him have gone. Losing my baby was a massive wake up call, I love Sean beyond measure, my life is and always will be with Sean and I am terrified in that moment that I may have completely f*cked everything up.



CHAPTER 26

It’s dark when I wake up, my mobile is ringing and I badly need a wee. I sit up on the bed and see that Sean is sitting in the armchair that we have in our room, the lamp is on at the side of the bed and I can see that he’s just sitting there, staring at me, his index finger and thumb are cupping his jaw, his elbow is resting on the arm of the chair, his left ankle resting on his right knee. I stand on unsteady legs and go into our bathroom, the bathroom we sat in just yesterday so happily, so united in our love, so hopeful for the new life we have created. I feel sick to my stomach, it’s my f*ck up and all I can hope is that Sean will forgive me. I go to the toilet, wash my hands and head back into the bedroom.

“Come here,” he orders. I go to where he’s sitting and stand in front of him.

“Is there anything going on between you and Cameron King?” My pulse throbs so hard I can feel it in my neck.

“I love you, I’m with you, and I will always be with you.”

“That’s not what I asked Gia.”

“No Sean, there is nothing going on between me and Cameron King, I love you. I didn’t say anything about the house because we both loved it, it felt right, if I had something going on with Cam, do you really think I would move us into his old home? Do you really think that I’m that kind of a person?”