Carnage: Book #1 The Story Of Us (Volume 1)(175)

“I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you that I spoke to Cam outside the restaurant, I didn’t even think about it until Len mentioned it.”

He shakes his head and without looking at me he says, “I already knew, I watched you.”

“You what?”

“I watched you, I followed you straight out and I watched you. I watched him come over to you, I watched you shake your head at him.” His eyes finally come up and meet mine.

“Why, why did you watch?” He shrugs his shoulders and his jaw trembles slightly as he speaks.

“I wanted you to choose me, I wanted you to send him away and choose me so I stayed back and watched and waited to see what you would do, I was terrified that you would leave with him.”

I put the glass and bottle down on the chest of drawers. “What, no, no Sean, never, why would you think that?”

“Because there’s something there G, you told me once that you thought that you loved him.” He shrugs his shoulders as he looks at me. “I think that I know you better than you know yourself, I know that you love him, I knew it that night when he turned up at Ashley’s party, when we first got back together. I knew it as soon as I saw you look at him and I knew it when I looked at that picture of you and him in the papers last year, there were more than the one I showed you, there were hundreds and I looked at all of them.”

I’m standing right in front of him now and he reaches out and strokes my cheek with the back of my hand. “And I knew it was true when you couldn’t make eye contact with him yesterday, you love him G, it’s just as simple as that. So I stood back, I waited inside the foyer of the restaurant and I let you choose and I just hoped and prayed that it would be me you chose or at least that you wouldn’t choose to go home with him.”

“I left him for you, why would I choose him, I love you Sean, I’m in love with you, there’s no one else, there never was, it’s still only ever you.” I reach out and touch the tattoo at the base of his neck that’s made up of the words of the song that he wrote for me, the words that we both included in our wedding vows. He takes my hand and kisses my wedding ring.

“I know I watched you tell him to leave, but I saw how much it hurt you to do it.” I let out a sob, I hate that he doubts my love for him; it’s like a physical blow.

“No, no, it didn’t hurt because it was a hard choice. I just didn’t want to hurt him, he’s only ever been good to me Sean. Despite his reputation, Cam’s a good bloke and I asked him to just go away and leave me alone, I didn’t want him, I don’t want him.”

He pulls me toward him. “I wouldn’t survive G, if you left me, you might as well kill me because I wouldn’t survive.”

He kisses my hair and my head and my temples and eyes, my nose and my cheeks, along my jaw and then my mouth, he sucks my bottom lip into his mouth, then his whole mouth is over mine, his hand is in my hair. I kiss him back with even more passion and pull the towel from his hips, his cock is already hard and I begin to stroke him, I rub my thumb over the tip and can feel that it’s already wet. He undoes the belt on my robe and slides his hands inside and cups my left breast in his hand, I kiss his neck and his chest and slide down his body and kneel in front of him. I gently brush my fingertips over his arse cheeks and down the back of the inside of his thighs, as I look up at him, he brushes my hair from off of my face I take him in my hand first and then guide him into my mouth, swirling my tongue over his tip, pushing my tongue into the slit at the end, he closes his eyes for a few seconds, then continues to keep looking into my eyes.