Carnage: Book #1 The Story Of Us (Volume 1)(107)

I think for a moment that he has woken up but I lay still and stop touching. I realise that he’s still sleeping; he’s sleeping and dreaming of me. My heart suddenly aches as I think of the time that we’ve wasted, nights I’ve laid in bed and dreamt of him, even nights I’ve been with other men, it’s still Sean that I’ve dreamt of. I wonder if it’s been the same for him, despite all the beautiful women he has no doubt spent the last four years shagging. I wonder if all the while, he was dreaming of me. I wonder if they heard him whisper my name. I wonder if they wondered who Gia was. I don’t want to obsess too much about the other women but I know I will ask. I don’t want to know but I need to know. I don’t know if that’s a woman thing or if it’s just my nature.

“Tell me about your boyfriend.” Shit, I didn’t even notice he had opened his eyes and was watching me. It’s creepy that what was going through my mind was pretty much what was going through his.

“Is it serious?” What do I say, is it serious, was it serious? I think it was important more than serious. Cam was important to me because he had helped me move on.

Sean rolls away from me and puts on the bedside lamp, then rolls back to where he was, we mirror each other, side by side, one arm folded under our head, the other draped across each other’s hips.

“I need to know G, if you’re in love with this other bloke and, we’re… if all of this…” He looks all over my face as he tries to think of the right words. “If it’s too late for us G, then I need to know now, before I get my hopes up, before I start... ”

He pauses again and closes his eyes; he moves his hand from my hip, to the back of my head and pulls me toward him. He kisses my forehead and then rests his against mine. “Just tell me G, are we too late? Please tell me it’s not too late. I f*ckin’ love you, so much, but if, if, f*ck, I can’t even say it.”

I take his face in my hands. “Sean, like the tattoo says, ‘There’s no one else. There never was. It’s still only ever you.’”

He repeats my actions and takes my face in his hands. We’re so close that I can see the little flex of gold sparkle in his brown eyes. “I love you Georgia Rae Layton, so f*ckin’ much, I’m gonna give you the world, the whole f*ckin’ world but first, first G, I’m gonna kiss ya.” And he does, so, so, softly, so gently, all over my closed mouth, then he pushes inside with his tongue, he tangles it with mine, then swipes it over my teeth, the insides of my cheeks, like he’s trying to taste every bit of my mouth; he kisses, licks, sucks and gently drags his teeth over my lips, my jaw. He rolls over and kneels between my knees, then pulls me up to straddle him, I go to wrap my arm around his neck, but he puts them back down at my sides. Then pulls his t-shirt over my head and throws it on the floor, he uses the fingertips of both hands to trace over my face, jaw and neck, and he brushes so gently over my collar bone that I shudder. I don’t take my eyes from his, he mostly studies intently what he’s doing, but every now and then his eyes flick up and meet mine and my heart threatens to escape my chest with the way he looks at me, love, lust, desire, it’s all there. His fingers travel over my chest, then over my breasts, he circles my nipples a few times, and then cups them, he looks up at me in absolute wonder. Before he moves his mouth to suck on my right nipple, I arch my back, offering them up to him, he switches his attention to my left, except now it’s his teeth I can feel, he doesn’t bite, he just drags his teeth and his tongue over my nipple, all the while, pinching and rolling with his fingers, the right nipple that’s been abandoned by his mouth. I arch my back and tilt my head as I look up at the ceiling; I wrap my legs around him and grind against him. He moves his hands to underneath my arse cheeks and lifts me as he stands up from the bed, before lying me gently back down.