Carnage: Book #1 The Story Of Us (Volume 1)(103)

“Well I couldn’t tell you about Mandy, she swore me to secrecy, she told me that her and Sean were still together but they were keeping it quiet until after Jimmies wedding as they didn’t want to tip Georgia over the edge, I thought she was being considerate.” My Mum gives a bitter little laugh as she finishes speaking. She looks at Sean. “When you turned up at my house that Sunday with the girls on the bikes, it struck me that the girl you was with, looked a lot like this Mandy but what I couldn’t get my head around was, if you was so in love with this Mandy, why were you at my house with her lookalike, then I realised it was her that Georgia had the problem with.”

She moves her eyes across to me. “All you kept repeating George was that she looked just like her… That got me thinking that perhaps you already knew about this Mandy, so I went through all the scrap books, I made them for you George, every piece of news about the boys, I kept and put into a scrapbook, in the hope that one day you would be able to look at it.” She wipes tears from under her eyes and my bottom lips trembles as I watch her do it and I hate myself, I hate myself for caring that she’s upset and I hate myself for being the one that’s made her cry and I’m beginning to feel sick, because I think that I’m beginning to put this puzzle together. I cover my mouth with hand as I can feel it start to water, the way it sometimes does before you vomit.

“I kept the good stuff and the bad stuff, the pictures, articles, song lyrics, you name it, I’ve kept it all and I sat and went through it until I found her picture and that’s when I realised what an almighty f*ckup I’d made.”

I shake my head continuously. “Oh no no no.”

I look across at Jimmie, she looks at me incredulously. “Whorely?” She asks me. I nod my head, then turn and look at Sean, he hasn’t joined the dots.

“It was the girl from the rape charge.” My Mum continues. Sean is instantly on his feet. “No, no, no f*ckin’ way, I have not clapped eyes on that girl since that day, there was never anything between me and her, never G, I swear on my life.”

I shake my head at him. “I know, I know, I believe you.”

I look around at everyone in the room. “Fuck, wow she really does hate me, because she’s gone all out to ruin my life and keep us apart all this time. I need a drink.”

I am so angry, angry to the point where I can’t think or see straight, I need a drink, I need a cigarette, I need a joint and I need my Mum out of my sight while I try to make sense of all of this, my head right at that moment, feels like it’s about to explode.



CHAPTER 18

The problem with open plan houses, is that you can’t make a grand exit, you can storm off in indignation but there are no doors to slam, which, let’s face it, is what you really need to do to get your point across and to let everyone know just how pissed off you are. The other problem is that there are no rooms where you can lock yourself away and have a good cry when the need takes and I think that right at that moment, that’s perhaps what I need to do.

I go into the kitchen and retrieve the wine glass I left there earlier, I pour myself a drink and lean back against the work top and look across to my family all gathered in the lounge area. I watch Len, Jim and Marley, all deep in conversation. I watch Bailey, pat Sean on the back, say something to him and shake his hand, then begrudgingly my eyes go over to my parents, they are sitting side by side. My Mum seems to be trying to explain something to my Dad? he has her hand in his and I watch as he brings it to his lips and kisses the back of it, he nods in agreement at whatever it is that she’s saying and they both look up at the same time toward me. She stands and the room falls quiet as she heads in my direction; I take a long chug on my wine and watch as she approaches.