Burnt Devotion (Imdalind, #5)(27)

I tensed at his reaction, almost expecting the laugh to filter through the courtyard.

“What are you asking?”

Like an off key note in a Styx cover, something was bothering me. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but the more I looked at him, the more my panic grew.

“Why are you here?” My voice faltered a bit at the question, and the pieces fell into place as the image of him standing behind the clouded veil came to me, the sad half smile he had given me as I made my choice.

“This is our T?uha, Wynny.”

Panic spouted at his words. What I had perceived to be a lie dug at me, bringing back the pain and denial I had only so recently escaped.

This wasn’t a T?uha. It couldn’t be. Not after his death, not after the choice I had made. I hadn’t realized it at the time, but I had given this up. This life, this beautiful place that linked me so closely to my mate, to him—it was gone now.

“No.” His face fell, and I regretted the sternness in my voice at once. It was not like I had meant it, but it wasn’t, not anymore. “I chose to live.”

“You did,” he said succinctly, as if commenting on his distaste in my choice of music.

The response only added to my confusion more, and I was positive it showed on my face, for Talon chuckled the same as he always had while his hands ran down my arms as the cool air moved around us. His smile grew as he led me to the same bench we had sat on for more than a century of shared consciousness.

“Then how…?” The words barely made it out. The confusion was so deep now I was sure I was going to give myself permanent wrinkles from the amount of concentration I was trying to take on.

I sunk down to the bench as Talon laughed beside me, his body folding before me until he kneeled on the old, cobbled stones with his large hands wrapped comfortably around mine.

He seemed so much larger than he really was when he sat like that, the sheer bulk of his muscles and width of his chest turning him into a bolder. I smiled, a look he returned with his bright eyes dancing.

“You chose to live,” Talon parroted, his voice near a whisper as the pressure of his hands against mine increased. “You let Joclyn heal you so you could help them … so you could be with them.”

My lips pressed into a tight line at the memory of that moment, the army they had been surrounded by, and Sain’s knowledge of what was going to happen. Yes, I had made the choice. And, while part of me didn’t regret being able to help them—to be with Joclyn after her fight with Ilyan, to help Ryland fight his monsters—I did regret not being with Talon.

I regretted his death and that I couldn’t follow him.

Yet…

“So w-w-why am I here?” I asked, my voice stuttering as I tried to find the right words to match my questioning. “Why are you here?”

“Am I really here?” Talon laughed as he stood, his body growing to an unnatural height before he sunk down onto the bench beside me, his body pressing against mine from thigh to shoulder. “I don’t know. Perhaps this is only a dream.”

I thought about that as I leaned against him, as his head pressed against mine, and we both looked into our sanctuary. It was a courtyard he had chosen for our T?uha over a century ago, one I now recognized as the cobbled yard of a castle we had met in many times before while I had spied for Ilyan, a reconnaissance spot where information had been traded. It was where our hands had touched for the first time.

I smiled at the memories, at the knowledge that he had loved me even before my memories were gone. He had loved every part of me, even the parts that had worked for Edmund for so long.

The thought was comforting. It made everything seem more real.

“It doesn’t feel like a dream.”

“No,” Talon responded in a whisper, his arm wrapping around me as he pulled me closer. “I would have to agree. I feel very real. You feel very real…”

His voice faded away as his hands trailed over my body, the large pads of his fingers rough yet somehow soft against my skin. I gasped at the touch, at the sensations that moved through my body.

It was so similar to how our magic had always connected inside of this space. Although much of the power and the emotion behind it was missing, I could still feel it. I could still feel him.

It was all very real.

My breath shook in exhale as his fingers moved over my neck, only to have both of us freeze at the childlike laugh that moved through the courtyard. The sound was high and joyous, despite my body refusing to register it as such. Everything tensed in panic as I looked toward the sound, almost expecting to see the bloodied child standing before us, but it was only the sound, only the echo of a life that was trapped.

I knew that now, but it didn’t stop the panic and tension from taking over. All I could feel was the heavy, painful, pulse of my heart as I looked over the courtyard, Talon’s touch all but gone.

“She is very real,” Talon whispered beside me, his voice sounding far too distanced as another echo of a laugh encompassed me.

“Rosaline.”

Did I speak in longing or fear? I wasn’t sure. My heart felt both, and it scared me.

“Yes.”

I turned toward Talon at his one word response, my eyes wide as I looked at him and begged him for an answer I knew I needed, even if I dreaded what it would be.

“Have you seen her?”