Burnt Devotion (Imdalind, #5)(26)

Now, I was trapped with it.

Trapped in the stone hallways of a castle that had once been so treasured, trapped in the dream—the T?uha that I had shared with my mate for so long. It was no longer a T?uha, though. Now, it was only a nightmare.

Each night since Joclyn had healed me, since Talon had died, my dreams dragged me to this prison, to this empty shell of what once was. For days, I had been haunted by the childlike joy that tugged at my heart with painful barbs.

I almost wished I could have my old dreams back. Even though I had been forced to watch my daughter die every night, it had been almost easier to accept not knowing who she was. Now I knew, which made the pain that much more fresh.

This must be what purgatory felt like.

The laugh came again, more haunted than joyful as it bounced around the enclosed hallway of the dream in a ripple that met my ears and tensed down my spine. I froze in place as it moved over me, my heart racing with need for only a moment before I ran in desperation to escape the sound along with the memories of the daughter I so desired.

I ran until the only sound was the slap of my sneakers against the stone, the rhythmic thuds dull in my ears.

Chest heaving, I began to slow my pace, each breath burning through me as I forced it past my tense muscles. Past the painful vice that wound its way through my chest.

I hated the fear, hated that the once treasured place was now filled with anxiety of when the next laugh would come and if the little girl I both cherished and feared would be standing around the next corner. If she would be smiling, if she would be screaming.

Since Edmund had forced us to watch our daughter’s torture, witness her blood trailing down her arms, down her face, I hadn’t been able to escape it. Even after my memories were bound, it had continued to haunt me as I slept.

It was that image I saw when I thought of Rosaline, not of the smiling girl dancing through wildflowers and making jokes about crickets with top hats. It was the blood. What was worse, the horrific possibility of coming face to face with that imagery once again was too much for me.

My fingers ran over the cool stone as the air surrounding me cooled. Wind moved over me as though someone had turned on the air conditioner, the sudden change increasing the depth of the dream, making my breath catch.

Windows that had normally streamed ribbons of sunlight within the T?uha hung dull and dank, and a sheath of grey clouds covered the sky and left me wandering through the dim light of the burning sconces. It was as though the once shared mind knew someone was missing and was mourning it. Even the T?uha knew what had changed.

The laugh came again, so distanced it sounded like wind moving through the trees, so broken I wasn’t sure it was the laugh to begin with. I tensed, anyway, my muscles tightening painfully as my heart thundered against my chest, the chilled wind running through my hair.

I exhaled shakily, trying to release the fear and tension from my already pained body, and began to walk down the new hallway, only to freeze with the tap of my converse against the stone floor.

“Wynifred?”

It was Talon’s voice. I was sure of it. His deep gruff was so familiar, yet there was still an undertone of joy, like he was always ready to laugh at the world.

“Wynifred?” It came again.

I spun to face it on instinct, the sound of rubber soles against stone loud in my ears.

I had thought the T?uha was empty, that he had left me. Could I possibly be wrong?

I needed to find him

The tap of my sneakers was loud as I cautiously moved toward the sound, waiting for it to come again, rejoicing when it did.

“Wynny?” It was louder, more joyous.

And I ran.

I didn’t question it. I didn’t wonder if I was only following the voice into a nightmare, if my darling girl would be there. I simply ran, my heaving breaths mixing with tears I hadn’t realized I had been shedding, the chilled air flying past me as I fled from the laugh.

“Wynifred?”

I turned another corner and froze, the stone hallways dissolving to smoke and light as the T?uha mutated into the familiar courtyard, into the open space I had spent so much time in. The space I had chosen to live in.

It was as cloudy here as it had been inside the hallways. The normally warm sun was shrouded by the grey clouds that hung low above us, as though they would drop down and enclose us in their damp chill. The bricks seemed lifeless, and the trees sagged under a sadness I didn’t understand. It made no sense, for standing right in the middle of all of it, looking as well and joyous as I had always known him, was Talon with his face spread into the widest grin I had ever seen him have.

“Wyn,” he gasped, his voice the same as always, his large arms reaching out to me.

“Talon?”

I ran across the courtyard to him, slamming against him as his arms enveloped me and pressed me against the barrel of his chest. I could feel his hot breath against my neck and the tips of his fingers as they pressed into my sides. I could smell the woodsy smell of his skin.

It was him.

It was him as he chuckled. It was him as he pressed his lips against my neck, and yet…

I knew it couldn’t be.

“Talon?” I asked again as he reluctantly released me. My frame was tiny against his as I looked up to him, grateful when his large, warm hands stayed against my skin. “What’s going on?”

The joy in Talon’s face sagged at the question, the light behind his dark eyes dimming a bit.