Broken Juliet(73)

He deflates, and the look on his face almost breaks my heart.

I stretch up to kiss him. I need to kiss him. Remind him he’s the one I want. Remind myself it was my character getting turned on by another man during a scene, not me.

He kisses me back. Wraps his hands in my hair and moves my head to where he wants it. Lights me up more completely in three seconds than Connor did all night.

“Take me home,” I say as my whole body flushes.

He does. And an hour later, when I’m sweaty and boneless beneath him, I tell him I love him for the first time since we got back together.

I say it because I mean it. Not because of the guilt.

Mostly.




Dr. Kate pours me a glass of water. I take it gratefully. At least it’s something to do with my hands.

“Do you think you may have been overcompensating for what you were doing with Connor?” Dr. Kate asks.

“Probably.” I sip more water. “But I didn’t want Ethan to feel like there was some stupid love triangle going on, because there wasn’t.”

Dr. Kate gives me a few seconds, then asks, “Was there ever a time you wanted to justify Ethan’s mistrust?”

I nearly choke on my reply, but these sessions are nothing without honesty.

“No, but…”

She waits for more.

“I often wondered how different everything would have been if I could have loved Connor. He was so uncomplicated. But I couldn’t do it. Not even after I thought I’d never see Ethan again.”

“So there wasn’t even a hint of anything when you and Ethan were still together?”

I shake my head. “As much as I had to be attracted to Connor onstage, I never wanted to continue things offstage.”

“You told him that?”

“Connor and I never spoke about it, but I could tell he knew. As for Ethan, I told him over and over again that he had nothing to be concerned about.”

I’d said it so much, the words began to feel like acid on my tongue.

“But he didn’t believe you.”

Bitterness bleeds through my skin like a rash.

“No.”




Windscreen wipers thud from side to side as Ethan’s number flashes on my screen.

“Hi.” I’m exhausted but happy to talk to him. We haven’t seen each other much this week, and I’m craving him. The Senior Showcase is in four days, and we’ve been rehearsing around the clock. We’ve only had to rehearse the Romeo and Juliet scene a couple of times, because, clearly, we rock. Erika has been concentrating more on the new scenes, determined to get them perfect.

“Hey,” he says, sounding just as tired as I am. “Where are you?”

“On my way home.”

“Our rehearsal is almost done, too. I think Avery and I are finally getting the rhythm of this freaking Stoppard dialog. Not that we can hear much with this storm going on. This rain is crazy, huh?”

“Yeah. Hope your ark-building skills are decent, or we could be in trouble.”

“We don’t need an ark. I have some inflatable pool lounges. They have cup holders.”

“Fancy.”

“No expense spared to save my woman from the watery apocalypse.”

“Nothing says ‘I love you’ more than quality recreational inflatables.”

He makes a noise. “Now I have visions of that inflatable sheep Avery bought for his pool.”

“We said we’d never discuss that.”

“You’re right. Can we talk about how much I f*cking miss you?”

I smile. “Can you hold that thought? We’re just pulling up outside my apartment. I need to make a mad dash for the door.”

“We?”

“Yeah, um…” I take a deep breath. “Connor drove me home, so I wouldn’t get drenched.”

There’s silence then, “Uh-huh. You don’t have your umbrella?”

His tone immediately sets me on edge. “Well, yeah, but it’s a storm. Connor’s car was parked behind the theater. Plus, it’s ten o’clock at night.”

Next to me, Connor shakes his head ever so slightly. It frustrates us both that Ethan gets like this every time we’re together. He must know by now that his fear is unnecessary. Does he honestly believe I’ll suddenly develop an overwhelming urge to f*ck Connor, because we’re alone in a car?

“Hang on,” I say, and grab my bag. “I’ll talk to you when I get inside.” I push the hold button, and sigh. “Thanks, Connor. See you tomorrow.”

“No problem. Have a good night.” He gives me a look that says he knows the rest of this phone call isn’t going to be pleasant. I exit the car as quickly as possible, then race through the downpour to my front door.

When I get inside, I strip off my jacket and take Ethan off hold.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” His voice is all kinds of pissed. I stifle a groan. I’m too tired to deal with this right now.

“Ethan, it was a five-minute car ride. What the hell do you have to be worried about?”

“I don’t know, Cassie. You tell me.”

“There’s nothing to tell! Do you have so little faith in me that you think I’d even contemplate doing anything with Connor?”