Broken(28)

Jocelyn shook her head as another fresh trail of tears ran down her face. “No.”

He released her and stood, his nostrils flaring. His face was bright red and his fists were clenched at his side. He looked like he wanted to commit bloody murder and there was no doubt in Jocelyn’s mind if her attackers were here now, he would. “Who are these men? What are their names?”

She closed her eyes briefly and nibbled on her bottom lip. “I only knew the one guy’s name, Jasper. That’s who he introduced himself to me as. He must have been the one who drugged my drink. But for all I know, it could have been an alias. I believe I heard him call one of the other men Todd, but I can’t be sure. Everything blurred together after a while. And honestly, throughout it all, I hoped it was simply a nightmare I’d wake up from.”

“Those sons of bitches! They need to pay for what they did to you.” He slammed his fist into his palms, looking like he had every intention of delivering a little justice vigilante style.

Jocelyn gulped. The last thing she wanted was her father to get riled up, especially when she didn’t have all the pertinent information concerning his heart condition. “I never reported the incident to the police because I wanted it to be over. I knew if I would have done so, there would have been an investigation and even if they could find all the men involved there would have been a trial and I couldn’t have dealt with being scrutinized or being made out to be the bad guy. Besides, I didn’t want everyone back home to find out what happened to me. As it was, I blamed myself for it. I shouldn’t have been so stupid to trust him. I shouldn’t have gone to that party.”

Jack’s lips firmed to a thin line. “I’m not talking about reporting them to the police, Jocelyn. I want their names because I’m going to kill them. I’m going to track every single one of them down, rip off their nuts and shove it down their throats.”

Jocelyn slipped off the couch and put her arms around her father’s waist. “No! Even if I did know who those men were or where to find them, I wouldn’t tell you. I want this to be over. I live with what they did to me every day of my life. It still affects me to this day and I curse myself for this weakness, but I just want to heal and put this behind me. I’ve tried so hard to forget.”

“But obviously you haven’t if you’re still having nightmares like tonight.”

She laughed humorlessly. “Trust me; they’re not as bad and as frequent as they used to be. At one point I used to be an absolute ball of nerves. But I’ve made progress with my life. My career has taken off. Sure the papers have labeled me eccentric, but no one knows what it feels like to wake up most mornings in a cold sweat—what it’s like to be scared all the time, constantly looking over my shoulder. I sleep with the light on for fear that someone will come and get me. I can barely enjoy regular social interactions without having full blown panic attacks. Kyla finally convinced me to see a therapist and I’m only just learning that the incident wasn’t my fault.”

“It kills me inside to know you blamed yourself for what those monsters did to you.”

Jocelyn sniffed. “I know it doesn’t make sense, but that’s why I’d rather you let it go.”

“But you’d let those men get away with what they’ve done to you? Maybe you can, but I can’t.”

“Daddy, you’re going to have to respect my wishes in this matter. Yes, it’s unfair they got off scot-free, but in order for me to keep my sanity; I have to let it go. If there’s such a thing as karma, they’ll get their comeuppance eventually.”