Broken(33)

Her head shot up then. Large eyes searched his face as though trying to gauge his sincerity. She nibbled her bottom lip, giving herself a look of vulnerability that tempted him to wrap his arms around her and make things better. But then he remembered her callousness and the moment passed.

After what seemed like a long moment, she lowered her head again and kicked at a lump of dirt resting beneath her feet. “You don’t owe me anything, Cade.” She sighed. “I have to go. I promised Aunt Earlene I’d stop by later.”

He grabbed her wrist, preventing her from going past him. If he didn’t get the words out now, he never would. “I’m sorry, Jocelyn,” he blurted out before she could walk away from him.

The look of astonishment dwelling in those lovely almond-shaped eyes of hers was evident. He’d even shocked himself, but the words needed saying. She shook her head with fierce vehemence. “No, Cade. Don’t apologize.”

“Why shouldn’t I? I ruined a perfectly good dinner because of my big mouth. It’s the least I could do. And…you didn’t deserve that treatment. No matter what happened between us, I shouldn’t have embarrassed you the way I did.”

“Thank you. I appreciate your apology. But you can let go of my arm now.” She tugged it out of his grip.

“Don’t walk away. Please.” Cade didn’t know what compelled him to say those words but he knew he wanted her close to him a little while longer.

“Was there anything else you wanted?”

“No, I don’t want you to think there will be a repeat performance of what I did.”

She crossed her arms over her body. “Okay. Was that all?”

Why was she acting like a skittish colt taking its first steps? “I have a hellava temper sometimes. And I just want you to know I’ll be on my best behavior when you’re around. Maybe we can even say hello in passing.” Damn she smelled good. He tried to ignore the temperature rising inside of him. Her nearness did the damndest things to his equilibrium.

“But I understand why you did it, and it’s no more than I deserve. I should have let you down easier.”

Cade narrowed his eyes. “But the result would have been the same. You wanted things to be over between us.”

“True. But I thought you’d prefer the more direct approach than me beating around the bush. It might have been easier to swallow.”

“You think?”

She took a step backward. “I could have worded things a little differently.”

“So you didn’t think I was some backwoods hick who wouldn’t fit into your new life?”

“I didn’t say that, Cade.”

“You might as well have. It’s what you said in so many words anyway, isn’t it? You believed I wasn’t good enough for you.”

Jocelyn broke eye contract. Her lower lip trembled. “It was the right thing to do. You wouldn’t have fit in and I wanted to be someone. I didn’t think that was possible if I came back to the ranch. I was probably harsher than I should have been. You still deserved better.”

All the old hurts came rearing up again at her reminder. He twisted his lips in irony. “Damn right about that, but the past is exactly that: the past. I’m not here to dredge up what happened seven years ago, I care about what I did to you the other night, and that’s what I’m apologizing for. But just because I’m sorry, don’t think I’ve forgotten what you’ve done—what you’ve said, because as far as I’m concerned the Jocelyn I once knew is dead to me.” She flinched at his words, almost as if she cared, but Cade didn’t buy it for a minute. “I figure since you’re going to be here until your dad’s wedding, chances are we’ll cross paths again. I reckon we can at least be cordial to one another.”