Breathe Out (Just Breathe, #2)(38)

I stay at Maggie’s, working remotely on my iPad. I decided before I got to her today that I’d stay as long as she needs me; at least until my trip. Arnold informs me of lunch being severed as I’m checking the software functionality with Raven 1.0. My eyes stay glued to the screen as I head out to the patio. Just as I sit down to join Henry, Maggie, Mr. and Mrs. Wú, M?qīn and Nǎinai, my head jerks up when I hear Jared’s voice. My gaze finds him, Nathan and Pop-Pop. We share pained smiles, but I can tell that they aren’t angry with me either. This is a time when I’m very thankful for the relationships I have with them. They take turns greeting me as if nothing unusual has happened.

Once we get settled around the table, Arnold announces Joe’s arrival. I should have expected there would be more people with the number of place settings. Joe makes his way around the table, saying hello to everyone before taking his seat.

Conversations are light, and after our meal, Jared and I catch up by going for a walk around the property.

“I’m sorry,” I begin, shame-faced at my actions.

“It’s okay, Kitten,” Jared lovingly accepts.

“No . . .” I start to explain, but he cuts me off.

“Kitten, it’s okay. It was hard for everyone. I can only imagine how it was for you when . . .” his voice trails for a moment. “I know you don’t believe that it’s okay for the way you reacted, but it is.”

My eyes begin to well up and a lump forms in my throat. The thoughts and feelings that are still flooding my body surprise me. I am unable to look at him. Jared’s arms firmly wrap around me. A smile flits across my face as the smell of him makes me feel at home. My body uncontrollably responds, molding my arms around his neck.

“I was scared too,” he admits. “Scared for Maggie. I’ve heard stories about . . . .”

“Don’t . . . please,” I beg, not wanting to discuss it.

“Okay. I’m sorry.” Jared lets out with a sigh. “You did everything you could. You’re . . .” he encourages.

“No . . .” I argue. “I know she forgives me, but I still abandoned her.”

“No, you didn’t. You left her in the care of the rest of the family when it became too much for you,” he warmly justifies.

“No . . .” I disagree.

“What’s most important is that you were there when she called . . . when she needed you . . . and you’re here now.”

“Yeah,” I say partially, still not fully agreeing with my friend.

“You needed your own time to cope before you can help Maggie finish doing the same,” he sweetly advises.

“I guess.”

“I hate to say this,” he begins. “But, I’m glad Maggie called you. I don’t know what I would have done if she called me first. I probably would have made it worse.”

“No,” I object.

“Yeah, I would have,” he debates. “You knew how I’d be and that it wouldn’t have helped her. I would have just made things worse for her if you didn’t have Joe block me and get me to calm down.” Jared takes in a deep breath. “You and Maggie are my family. You two are the most important things in my life next to Nathan and Pop-Pop.” Jared pauses, like he’s trying to find the right words.

“I know,” I soothe, understanding the thoughts running through his head as he fights back tears. “I know. I love you.”

“I love you, Kitten,” Jared returns with tears.

Jared and I don’t say anything else. We continue to hold and comfort each other for a while before heading back to our family. Everyone stays for dinner and well past sunset. Dinner contains a few more family members who help add some more life back to the house. Joe offers to take me home, but I opt to stay the night with Maggie. I need her to know that I’m here for her — perhaps I need it too.





Sixty Four


It takes a few more days of hearing Maggie perk up for me to do the same. If I’m not with her, checking in on her in person, my attention is kept on business. Control. I need to control as much as I can right now.

Joe’s parents are scheduled to fly in Tuesday to pay their respects to Maggie, Henry and the rest of the family before we leave Wednesday morning.

Jared and Pop-Pop have been staying over at my place since I left Maggie, both doting on me, insisting they take care of the meals, letting me focus on work. Nathan joins us in the evenings when he’s finished at Nathaniel’s and brings some of his work back with him.

I keep myself hidden in my office during most of the days, avoiding talking about what’s happened the past week. Jared checks in on me regularly and is always quick to join me when I need to relax, while walking Sadie or taking a break on the couch or my bed. Each night, he and Nathan sleep with me in my room while Pop-Pop insists on claiming the couch.

Sunday, I finally get the gumption to listen to the voice messages Joe left for me the first night we had sex a month ago. My heart softens hearing the strain in Joe’s voice asking me if I’m okay and to call him. The next thing I realize, I’m texting him an apology.

“Sorry,” I write.

“For what?” Joe immediately replies.

I wince, not sure how to respond. “The night of the wedding.”

“What about it?” he searches.